Fernando Alonso, Kimi Raikkonen, Melbourne, 2012

Caption Competition 10: Alonso and Raikkonen

Caption Competition

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Fernando Alonso, Kimi Raikkonen, Melbourne, 2012

What did Fernando Alonso and Kimi Raikkonen find to talk about in the build-up to the Australian Grand Prix?

That’s for you to decide in our latest Caption Competition.

Come up with the best caption you can think of and post it in the comments.

Remember to look out for a selection of the best in tomorrow’s Comment of the Day in the daily round-up.

Caption Competition

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Image ?? Ferrari spa/Ercole Colombo

Author information

Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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185 comments on “Caption Competition 10: Alonso and Raikkonen”

  1. remember when Ferrari could make a Championship winning car?

    1. KR: Yep.
      FA: We can’t even get ice cream right anymore.

    2. MercedesBeanz
      31st March 2012, 20:06

      So..what you say, you me against lewis?….honestly, its za only way..

      1. MercedesBeanz
        31st March 2012, 20:28

        KR: Wow, you and bernie have the same tatoo
        FA: Oh yes amigo
        KR: What is it?
        FA: Hit says “ANYONE BUT LEWIS”

      2. KIMI I am not staring at you
        Fernando Are you sure you are not staring at me?

        KIMI Yes, positive. I an staring at your wife over there.

    3. Like it.

  2. Alonso: ”Nice Hats aren’t they Kimi, they make us look good dont they”?
    Kimi: eugh, Yes…… !

  3. no matter how hard we try to find somewhere private it always feels like Lewis is right behind us

    1. This had me rolling on the floor with laughter!

    2. Dzi (@dzaci214sid)
      31st March 2012, 14:43


  4. They paid you how much not to drive their car?!

    1. KR: Imagine how much Felipe could earn this season!

      1. i like this :D

    2. Very good!

  5. That’s what you get when you force me out of Ferrari.

  6. I know, let’s sit on Lewis’ car so he can’t get off the line straight away!

    1. Actually, another one:

      Lewis’ cars nose looks wrong, lets sit on it to get it a bit lower.

  7. Garret Bailey
    31st March 2012, 10:15

    Kimi: ” So are you and Lewis looking to take my job at Lotus now too”

  8. If were both out in the first few laps, do you fancy meeting up for an ice cream?

    1. so true..

  9. Alonso: “So this is what pole position feels like. It’s been a while for both of us you know…”

  10. Alonso: “This Ferrari is rubbish Kimi, do you want your seat back?”

    1. nice one …

    2. Kimi – U really think ure ever gonna win a world championship in a Ferrari ! (haha)

      Nando – At this pace … im dancing the rain dance bfore every race

      Kimi – Keep dancing, i left ferrari n got paid for it too ! :-D …

      Nando – Damn … I jst signed on till 2016 !!!

      is there an opening at my ex team ?

      Kimi –

      1. Kennie Wollmer
        1st April 2012, 10:24

        Hahaha, good one there!

  11. Kimi and Fernando weren’t sure about the regulations behind Maclaren’s new Championship winner

  12. Nando: Hey Kimi! Good to have you back. How does it feel?
    Kimi: Good.
    Nando: You excited?
    Nando: Was it fun winning the championship with Ferrari?
    Kimi: Sure.

  13. Kimi “How did You get so much power out of the Italian Rubber Bands”

  14. Alonso: Why didn’t you protest when i took your seat in Ferrari! I would had been in Lotus right now instead of this Ferrari!

    1. =))))))

  15. Kimi: “My car is faster than yours”

  16. Chris (@eddie4102000)
    31st March 2012, 10:27

    FA: Man, these waxworks are so lifelike these days!

    1. That’s brilliant :D

    2. hahaha. nice one

    3. The best!

    4. ROFL. Read through all of them so far. This is the best. !!!!!

  17. Alonso: “Where were you Kimi?”
    Kimi: “I was having a ****”

  18. FA: Black’s your colour, Kimi. Red never suited you.
    KR: *thinks with grim smile* ‘I hate these photos shoots! Did Fernando say something?’

  19. FA: say kimi, do you fancy a challenge?
    KR: like what?
    FA: scoring a victory in this years ferrari!
    KR: yeah right….when pigs fly!

  20. FA: Sooo, er, do you come here often?

  21. FA: So um…do you want to come back to my place?

  22. FA: “Don’t worry about Lewis, he’ll probably get penalised.”

  23. FA: see this “GTSMRT” on the license plate?
    KR: yep!
    FA: what do you think it means?
    KR: In my case ‘got smart’
    FA: why’s that?
    KR: I left the ship [ferrari] before it sunk!

  24. Alonso: I was more than happy to take my hands on your set of flat-bill caps left behind.
    Räikkönen: I was also happy to find the address of your hairdresser in our motorhome.

    Alonso: Felipe told me that he would swap the registration plate on Lewis’ car, but isn’t that message a bit too harsh?

  25. “I don’t know what you’re complaining about, Fernando. This is how I had to sit in the F60.”

  26. Fernando: “I always wondered why so many people think the sun shines out of your ****, but now I can see they meant it literally.”

  27. Some think the light shines out of your ****!!!!

  28. Alonso: kimi?
    KR: …
    FA: hey kimi
    KR: ….
    FA: Pssss kimi hey kimi
    FA: KIMI!!!
    KR: …what?
    FA: you not hear me I’ve been calling you for ages!
    KR; I was taking a ****.

  29. KR: “How’s the car?”
    FA: “Drives like an ice cream van”
    KR: “So pretty good then?”

    1. now that one I like!

  30. Alonso: So we swtich places, you’ll get my Ferrari and I’m getting your Lotus, right?
    Kimi: Err…
    Alonso: We have working fridge.
    Kimi: Deal.

  31. “No Kimi, we are NOT like Starsky and Hutch”

    1. thumbs up for this one.

  32. FA: What are you smoking?

    1. Is that a bong in your hand or are you just happy to see me?

  33. FA: “Is that a headlight between your legs, or are you just pleased to see me?”

  34. Alonso: hello kimi
    kimi: …

  35. Rupert Richardson
    31st March 2012, 11:08

    Shame Lewis only sent a car, instead of coming himself. Typical, though…

  36. Fernando couldn’t be sure if he was talking to Kimi, or a Madame Tausaud’s masterpiece.

  37. Kimi: Nice car!
    Alonso: Absolute!
    Kimi: err… No, just an energy drink.

    1. LMAO ……. Nice one :)

      1. haha took me a while but nice one

  38. FA: Kimi, I want to try rallying. What do you think?
    KR: hmmm… In F1, I was enjoying my ice cream. In rally, I was digging the ice and sometimes having a **** in the woods.

  39. FA: Shouldn’t Lewis be with us in the pilots parade?
    KR: Maybe he’s taking a ….

  40. “Kimi, for all I know, you could be a wax figure and I wouldn’t know the diff…er…ence. Huh. I see what you did there.”

  41. FA: I knew you would be back….I swear it was Santander they were behind this whole ‘me in you out’ thing…I WANTED to be your team mate be a team……C’mon Kimi say SOMETHING…

    FR: I wish i was at a media conference (smirk)

  42. FA: “You look familiar… Did you shave your beard Nick?”

  43. Hey Kimi, I know you’re a relaxed sort of guy but bringing your bong to the track is crossing the line.

    1. You beat me to it!

  44. FA: Remember 2007?
    KR: Yes. There was you, me, and Lewis inbetween us. Perfect.

  45. dysthanasiac (@)
    31st March 2012, 11:58

    KR: “Yeah, I showed up, and they just pretty much handed me a Championship. What, is it not like that anymore?”

  46. Dane DI Pierro
    31st March 2012, 11:58

    With Massa so far back during the races, Lewis instead took the opportunity to run into Kimi and Alonso during their grid walk.

  47. FA: headlight burning your butt?
    KR: yeah, I.. think we should.. get up

  48. ALO: What on earth are you doing?

    RAI: Im having a ****

    1. Strang how my comment was edited from ending with “sh” to “****” someone has assumed i would dare imply a swear. i in fact meant to type “show”…..of course……naturally.

  49. Kimi: “look! I’m a statue…”
    Alo: “I knew that already…”

  50. ALO: Nice to see you, Kimster! How’re you doing?
    RAI: *thousand-yard stare*

  51. Kimi and Alonso had an uncomfortable feeling thinking about having Lewis this close behind them.

  52. FA: I feel like we are on a merry-go-round….McLaren-Ferrari-Renault. Don’t you?
    KR: What? I’m in a Renault now? Why didn’t someone tell me?

  53. FA: How did y fell when starting 17th ?
    KR: …Nothing…
    FA: What are u thinking ?
    KR: er…….nothing
    FA: u r not change anything, style, face, emtions….nice to see u back…
    KR: u too. talk like women…

  54. Fernando: “What’s up Kimi?”
    Kimi: “This drink tastes like headlight fluid!”

    A bit of an obscure one but for those who have heard of a group called ‘Rooster Teeth,’ then you’ll understand what I’m on about.

    1. off topic, but @brickles I seem to remember your name from somewhere… BAT, perhaps?

      1. That will be me :)

        Fer Morcillo?

  55. All we need now is a GQ photographer

  56. Dude, looks like your smoking a bong.

  57. FlyingLobster27
    31st March 2012, 12:45

    Lewis’s slow getaway in Australia explained.

  58. FA: “Kimi If You sit there long enough you might melt”
    KR: “yep”.

  59. *Alonso slams hand on bonnet*

    “Why the hell didn’t I get an icecream huh?”

    *Kimi grins*

    1. Thumbs up

  60. Alonso:”Tock to meee!…pleaze”

  61. How many Formula 1 drivers does it take to change a headlight?

  62. Fernando: Yeah, things are alot better for me now. I have a team mate that does what he is told, I am a single man again, and I have moved back to Spain to be closer to my family.
    Kimi: Yeah but it cost you how much in back taxes?
    Fernando: About half what it cost Ron Dennis in 2007 when I shopped him to the FIA! hA hA hA.

  63. kimi….KImi…..KIMMMMMMMMIIIIIIII….Why won’t you talk to me :(

  64. Yeah well since they dumped you the cars been a dude anyway!

    1. dud wish we had edit control

  65. Alonso “Nice to have you back Kimi”
    Kimi: “I don’t care”

  66. FA:Hey,Kimi,so how is that lotus faster than my ferrari? KR: No,Fernando,you can’t get my seat…

  67. FA – Kimi, you dropped a little drink on the floor.. yeah, right there where I’m pointing.
    KR – Oups..

  68. FA:Hey Kimi,Hey!Hey Kimi! KR: Don’t talk to me annoying Alonso!

  69. you do realise “lewis hamilton” is written on this very car,right?
    yeah,now let me be serious in front of the cameras,i have a reputation to preserve.

  70. Alonso…is it true that Skippy the Kangeroo is gonna be holding the chequered flag?????

    1. For all who do not know…Skippy the kangeroo is the most famous of all australian kangeroos who had his own tv program in the 1960`s or round about that time.

  71. KR:- Knock knock
    FA:- Who’s there?
    KR:- Ice Cream Soda
    FA:- Ice Cream Soda who?
    KR:- Ice Cream Soda people can hear me.

  72. bradandcoffee
    31st March 2012, 13:42

    “Wait, why didn’t you tell me we were going back to wearing normal-sized hats?”

  73. ‘Kimi raikonnen, the golden balls of formula 1’

  74. They were discussing how the car they are sat on is better looking than the one they drive.

    Kimi is thinking of punching Nandos nose, even if he does the ferrari nose will still be uglier

  75. Due to the ban on in season testing, teams had to resort to using the drivers parade cars to validate the wind tunnel data for their prototype caps.

  76. “Hey Kimi, any idea what country we’re in”?

  77. KR: No Fernando, I’m not going to sing ‘ice, ice, baby,’ with you.

  78. Alonso: You wanna mess with this thing so it breaks down on Lewis during the driver’s parade?

  79. FA: Hey Kimi, some things have changed since you last drove a GP. For example: if you see blue flags being waved, it means it’s starting to rain and you can come in for ice cream.
    KR: This had better not be some scheme to take over my seat again.
    FA: Of course not.
    KR: OK, …..

  80. They want me to test this new toilet facillity, but it’s cramping my style…

  81. Fernando: “So Kimi, there is a new rule introduced last year: you have to start between the fourth and fifth lights, and crash on the polesitter… you understand?”

  82. Alonso: C’mon man, gimme a shot of your bong.

    Kimi: No.

  83. KR: How does it feel to know that ferrari picked up three titles in my two years with them and nothing with you?
    FA: eugh

  84. Alonso: “What ARE you holding between your legs?”

  85. FA: are we forgetting something?
    KR: Like what?
    *car flies past*
    FA+KR: Oh bugger

  86. Isn’t this fun sitting on car named for Lewis !

  87. Alonso: “Why are we sitting in front of Hamilton’s showcar?”
    Raikkonen: “…”

  88. “GT SMRT” : Even the car’s number plate is telling Kimi and Alonso to GET SMART !

  89. Alonso: “Kimi, GT SMRT and stop drinking. You know the rules…”
    Raikkonen: “…”
    Alonso: “Check the number plate!”

  90. Dude is that bong!!?

  91. … hey, are you listening to me?

  92. FA – If I painted this red…..

  93. Alonso: “you see this bad boy? I could beat your lotus in this”
    Kimi: “Whatever nando”

  94. kimi: what is this deal what all the pay drivers fernando? F1 has changed a lot since i am gone.
    Fernando: But still the guy with the fastest car will win the championship. How good is the lotus?
    Kimi: it’s ok, but i will need time to put everything together.
    fernando: look after the small detail.
    like the ice cream deal. Remember the wife of ceasar not only must be good, it must seem good.
    Kimi: get out of here, you start sounding like a pay driver yourself. May be petrov is right after all.

  95. “How you dooin’?”

  96. Alo: So Kimi are we okay
    Alo:I got you fired.
    Kimi:I got $US16 million, thanks Santander!

  97. FA “Luca likes me better than you, Felipe and Michael”

  98. Alonso admires the light that shines from Kimi’s backside.

  99. “So… where can you get a good take-out pizza in Maranello?”

  100. Fernando: This car isn’t going anywhere until I find out why Lewis brought that singing girlfriend back!
    Kimi: Ja, that’s why I came back!

  101. kimi: open your legs and sit like this…now you know what it feels like when Lewis Hamilton comes up behind you in the pits.

  102. FA: “really the joke is on them as neither of us are Lewis Hamilton, yet, we’re sitting on his car…..lol”

    KR: “……”

  103. Hamilton on pole, what are your thoughts on that Kimi?

  104. Alonso: Why are we presenting Lewis Hamiltons “Cars” vehicle?
    Kimi: I don’t know. Just stay cool.

  105. Kimi: “Don’t talk to me in the middle of anywhere”

  106. FA: Kimi how did u manage to win a title with Ferrari man?
    Kimi: Uhh, I don’t know man I was pretty much drunk the whole time and one day I was told I was the world champion.
    FA: so you think I should drink and drive to win?
    Kimi: Don’t know about you man, but the way the F2012 is handling it should have a drink.

  107. Alonso: Come here often? Kimi: No. Alonso: Cat got your tongue? Kimi: No. Alonso: Looks like Hamilton is third…again. Kimi: Yes.

  108. FA: Once again I must thank you for coming back Kimi. Hamilton prefers hitting you from behind over Massa. He will never catch me now!

  109. Alonso: ‘So how was rallying in Australia, Kimi?’
    Raikkonen: ‘I don’t know.’

  110. Hop On ! This is probably the best ride we’ll have all season.

  111. FA: Kimi, where is lewis?
    Kimi: probably went to get a quickie from his singer girl friend
    FA: damn, that lucky son of a gun
    Kimi: i atleast have a bottle to hide my ……..
    FA: Damn I can only cross my feet and hope no one is looking.

  112. FA: Kimi look at me when i am talking man.
    Kimi: sorry Fernando, My hangover gets worse when i look at red
    FA: then how did you win a championship with Ferrari man?
    Kimi: Get Smart Fernando, back then I wasn’t looking at red, I WAS IN RED.

  113. Lewis Hamilton looks different these days.

  114. “Put it away Kimi.”

  115. David Shorago
    31st March 2012, 20:25

    Fernando: So Kimi, do you really believe sitting on top of a Sumbeam Tiger will make you Smart?

    Kimi: Yeap!…and I want to see who is Victoria.

  116. GB (@bgp001ruled)
    31st March 2012, 20:57

    Kimi (thinking) “You can stare as long as you want, I won´t aknowledge your presence!”

  117. GB (@bgp001ruled)
    31st March 2012, 21:00

    Kimi (thinking): “No matter how long you stare, I won´t acknowledge your presence!”

  118. Lewis probably thinks this is the only way anyone will get in front of him.

  119. KR: “Did you hear Mark saying you’ll be fighting at the front as long as you have a steering wheel in your hands? This car has four wheels to and even an engine I think. You want to have a go?”

    FA: “Well why not, it can’t be worse than the F2012…”

  120. Gagnon (@johnniewalker)
    31st March 2012, 22:15

    FA: How fast do you feel afters the Qualify?
    KR: I am quickest

  121. FA: Your so cool Kimi!

    KR: I know right!?!

  122. My cap’s bill is so much flatter than yours.

  123. FA: I always put a little sugar in Romain’s fuel tank
    KR: I do the same. In mine.

  124. FA: Everybody know we F1 drivers have big cohones but man, that’s huge!
    KR: You should see the other one.

  125. FA: I wonder if I position myself right, this could end up as a good caption competition shot?
    KR: Yes

  126. …all we know is, he’s called the Stig!

  127. Alonso: “remember the last time I held Lewis up like this?”
    Kimi: “…remembering the last time my rear-end was parked on Lewis’s bonnet”

  128. KR: Wrong colour mate, but at least it will be faster than F2012.

  129. macca1977 (@)
    1st April 2012, 1:06

    FA: Not fair Kimi, even switching teams I always end up with the uglier uniform.

  130. alonso: kimi, glad to see you back in f1. How was the rally experience.
    kimi: fine, but you had to pay for the ice cream, so i decided wasn’t worth it.
    alonso: i see.

  131. KR: Remember when Ferrari was a World Champion? That was me.
    FA: Yeah. But you know what? Renault/Lotus Champion? Me.

  132. Alo: Kimi, can I hv your seat at Lotus? The pace has great potential this season.

    Kimi: Again? hmmhh…Let me think how much it cost for Lotus to do that.

  133. K ur excuse ?
    A my boy can’t take HAM anymore in fornt so will get him when lapped
    K my boy does in lap 1 !
    A I know but also got KAR working for us

  134. little bit rude, but …
    FA: We are in Melbeurne!. Are you going to have a s…t this time also?
    KA: Yeah, just having, just having …
    FA: Oh, that’s why you are so focused

  135. FA: You look good in that black suit
    KR: Ehh, I’ll look better in a red one.

  136. FA: So, I notice you are holding a spherical flask containing your urine?

  137. FA: Sup?
    KR: …………..
    FA: ……………
    KR: Sup?
    FA: …………..

  138. Fernando: What will your team be called next year Kimi?

    Kimi: Let me see whether I’ll stay till then first.

  139. Can I be also an ICE MAN? Is this the way?

  140. Alonso: Oi you look at me!!!!!!
    Kimi: Oh No!

  141. KR: …aah..that’s better…
    FA: what did you do in my drink bottle?

  142. Imad Ur Rahim
    2nd April 2012, 8:02

    Alonso: You know, Lewis Hamilton is a Mutant-X. He can change forms at will.
    Raikonnen : Yeah! And he thinks that he can spy on us.
    Alonso : Ha, ha! Some smart guy – he doesn’t realise that he has to use another car though.
    Raikonnen : And what’s more – he thinks we are the ones who should “GTSMRT”!

  143. Alonso: “I’m not gonna lie, your water bottle is impressive!”

  144. “I can see your waterbottle is as big as mine.”

  145. FA: “I have a pair of cutters in my pocket. I’ll take the front brakes, you take the rear brakes. And by the end of the parade there will only be 5 WDCs this season.”

    KR: “I’d hate to see what tricks you do to your team mate!”

  146. Kimi: Lewis looks strong this year.
    Alonso: Don’t worry Massa will take care of him

  147. SlackBladder1
    29th April 2012, 1:21

    Kimi: “OK, I got it, when he yells ‘BREAKS’ Bernie want’s us to put our feet down like this and grab our balls like this?” Alonso: “No Kimi we cross our legs grab ‘one’ ball while pushing on the bonnet like this!” Kimi: “Oh boy!”

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