Caption Competition 16: Ecclestone and Massa

Caption Competition

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Here are Bernie Ecclestone and Felipe Massa having a friendly exchange of views at the European Grand Prix.

What are the F1 tycoon and Ferrari driver talking about? It’s over to you to see who can supply the funniest caption for this picture.

Share your comedy captions in the comments and a selection of the best will be featured in the daily round-up.

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Image © Ferrari spa/Ercole Colombo

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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101 comments on “Caption Competition 16: Ecclestone and Massa”

  1. Massa: I have beaten Fernando.
    Ecclestone: What? YEEEEEEEEES!

  2. Massa: “What are the odds of me driving for Ferrari next season?”
    Bernie: “Who are you again?”

  3. Julian Ware
    14th July 2012, 10:09

    It seems Maldonado is taking over your speciality. I’d go punch him and tell him to back off if I were you!

    1. +++++++++++++++++1

  4. I’m gonna punch you Felipe…

  5. Bernie: Felipe, there’s got a watch company that wants you to be the face of it

    1. Bernie: Felipe, there’s a watch company that wants you to be the face of it


  6. Bernie: I feel like punching myself for the money mess

    Felipe: Don’t worry oldie, my team feels the same about me!

  7. “…And at this eye I once got punched before they stole my watch!”
    “Doesn’t beat a spring knocking at my head at 200 kph”

  8. BE- Massa, u need strength to drive a Ferrari.
    Massa- But, my strength is with Alonso

    1. lol this^^

    2. Sviatoslav Andrushko (@)
      14th July 2012, 12:34

      good on)

  9. Felipe Massa: “Easy, Bernie. You can put your fist down; I’m not a German prosecutor.”

  10. After all the help I gave you to win the 2008 championship you still could not do it!

  11. Chris (@eddie4102000)
    14th July 2012, 10:19

    Massa: Bernie!
    Bernie: Remeber what Lewis said, Felipe: don’t touch me!

  12. ShaneB457 (@shaneb12345678910)
    14th July 2012, 10:19

    Bernie: Soooooo… how long do you think we will both get the sack?

  13. Massa – Hey Bernie! How did those little blue pills go?

    Bernie – Great it was like this!!!

    1. Epic :D

    2. hahaha :D


    3. the best so far. lolz

  14. Bernie: “Touch my wig and I’ll give you a knuckle sandwich, son”

    1. Hahaha, that actually does look like he said it :)

  15. Bernie: This is what Ferrari will do to you at the end of 2012.

  16. Bernie: I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times; Tamara is OFF the market!

    1. This has my vote!

    2. If the price is right, nothing is ever off the market for Bernie, lol

  17. BE: stand still maybe if I give u another blow to the head it will bring the old massa back

    1. hahahhaha …good one

  18. Massa: Stay cool Berine baby, stay cool. You’ll get you fat pay check.

    1. Massa: Stay cool Berine baby, stay cool. You’ll get your fat pay check.

  19. davidnotcoulthard
    14th July 2012, 10:57

    Stefano Domenicali, from behind Massa: “Bernie’s going to punch you!!!!!”
    Felipe: “No, he won’t”
    Stefano: “Just look at his hands, can’t you see what he’s going to do?”
    Felipe: ” Nope. Besides, he’s got a…….”

    The picture was taken, and then……

    Bernie: “I’VE GOT A CRAMP!!!!!!!!!!”

  20. And Felipe, this is how I beat the Concorde Agreement out of them. Works for Race Organizers too you know.

  21. Bernie: “Hey guess what? Fernando is faster than you.”
    Felipe: “Yeah, that’s getting old now”

  22. massa: who will i race for after ferrari?
    bernie: indy like Rubens if you still want to be paid to drive. the ferrari no2 route.

  23. Felipe: “We’re not as quick as the Red Bull and the Lotus.”
    Bernie: “Don’t worry, I’ve ‘had a look’ at their cars”

  24. “Hey Felipe! Fernando is beating you so bad, I reckon an old man like me can probably give you a run for your money. Wanna go?!”

  25. FM: “Come on, I’m not saying your old or anything Bernie, but you couldn’t do a better job than me.”

  26. Bernie ‘understands message’ and punches himself in the chin.

  27. Bernie: ” I answered the phone, It was Max asking if you could be HIS whipping boy, after Ferrari had finished with you?”
    Felipe: “Do i get to come first this time?…”

  28. Massa: “Bernie! I am going to dedicate today’s drive to Fabiana!”

  29. BE: Believe me son,Fernando is faster than you….got it,chum?

  30. Milan Pereira
    14th July 2012, 12:34

    Massa : I could take up Gerhard Gribkowsky’s position after my Ferrari career !! I could still earn more than what I get here….eh ?

  31. Massa: Come closer, I want to look taller
    Bernie: #&$% you!

    1. I literary bursted into laughter when I read this one! :) And it was 2:20am! Must have scared family members. :)

      This is the first caption I’ve seen that actually checks all 3 most important boxes:
      1. it fits Felipe’s pose
      2. it fits Bernie’s pose
      3. it’s FUNNY! :)

  32. You were supposed to spin off like usual felipe!

  33. “It’s done. It’s going to happen.”
    “I stay for another year with Ferrari?”
    “No, you’ve won a Brucie bonus!”

  34. Sarah Marshall
    14th July 2012, 12:53

    Bernie: Don’t call me short again.. Or I’ll punch you.. Shortie..

  35. Here, let me help you keep your chin up.

  36. The last guy that touched me like that ran off with my watch. Back off bru!

  37. Bernie: You really want to know the secret to beating Fernando? Pretty simple…

  38. Massa: No Bernie, not beat up Fernando, just beat.

  39. Bernie: “You want me to fix the race? I’ll do this to Fernando!”

  40. Bernie: wait your titanium plate in your skull aint sitting right, let me fix that.

  41. Putt your hand somewhere else !

    (We could also have for Bernie : You know who I am ? choose the right tone to say it ^^ )

  42. “Say it again, and I’ll show you WHO is the pre-retired dwarf here”

  43. Massa:

    yo Bernie, you’ve got a lot of money stashed somewhere, right? Lets start a team together, because no one with offer me a drive for next year!

    Bernie: Well Felipe, i’ll stick this thing here somewhere where the sun doesn’t shine before I throw my money away like that! If you want to drive for ME, I will ask you for a hosting-fee!

  44. a different option:

    Bernie: I am F1’s puppetmaster! I pull all the strings! But in your case Felipe, i’m willing to make you handpuppet!

  45. Thanks, but I won’t need Brazilian ju jitsu in jail, I’ll buy them off or hit them in the knee caps like this.

  46. F.M. “I thought we had an arrangement in Brazil?”
    B.E. “Look, I didn’t get a chance to talk to Timo Glock, but next time I see him it’ll be this…”

  47. Bernie: And then she told me “I want half of your money!”
    Massa: No way, than what?!
    Bernie: I told her “Up yours b*tch”!

  48. Bernie- And this Felipe is how you show Rob Smedley how its done

    Massa- But Bernie it’s Stefano and Luca I’m after!

  49. Bernie: If they try to fire you, I’ll clobber them!

  50. Felipe, it’s about time we both retired. Me as a promoter, and you as a number two driver. Come and live with me. We’ll go to a sunny place where the German Courts can not extradite me from.

  51. FM: Stop hitting yourself! You just wanted to do Flavio a favor… You couldn’t possibly know that it would be such a bore fest here.
    BE: At least I’ve taken care of that this year. And next year they’ll probably be alternatingthe race with Barcelona.

  52. xeroxpt (@)
    14th July 2012, 16:25

    Massa: C’mon Bernie, i can’t beat Alonso but i can still beat you.

  53. Felipe, I told you. You have to drive really badly so Fernando looks awesome. Don’t worry, Ill make sure you stay at Ferrari. Do it, otherwise I will punch you like this!

  54. Massa: “Bernie, I know you’re getting on a little bit, but did you know someone’s stolen your umbrella ??”

  55. B: knock-knock
    M: who’s there?
    B: everybody
    M: everybody who?
    B: everybody is faster than Massa

  56. Do you know how frustrating it is to take the whole F1 in your hands and you just can’t release it?!

  57. If you let me ounch you, yo can stay at Ferrari…. maybe

    1. punch*

  58. Matt (@agentmulder)
    14th July 2012, 18:49

    Felipe: Bernie! I swear I don’t know how those pictures of Tamera ended up on my laptop!

  59. Traverse Mark Senior (@)
    14th July 2012, 19:14

    Bernie: “Felipe, you stole my watch didn’t you! give it back!”
    Massa: “Bernie, baby, come on, we’re friends right? what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is Alonso’s”.

  60. Richard Charles
    14th July 2012, 19:16

    “How about following the trend & starting Brabham back up Bernie? I could do with a drive for next year”

  61. Bernie: “If you say ol’ man once more..”

  62. Bernie: “Leave my daughters alone or else..”

  63. Massa,. “Don’t worry Bernie. Relaaax,. We have cryogenics in Brazil,..You will God forever. “

  64. Bernie: Sorry Felipe but my fist is faster than you.
    Felipe: What di.. OUCH

  65. Bernie: This is what I’ll do if you don’t leave Ferrari at the end of the year.

  66. Felipe: So I heard Fabiana Flosi is 46 years younger than you. Why do you want to remarry at your age?
    Bernie: Do you want to race anymore or not?

  67. “BAM! Right there. And would you believe it? I convinced everyone it was a mugger and not my wife that slugged me.”

    1. CarnivorousPope (@)
      15th July 2012, 1:03

      Very good. :)

  68. Jerry Moore
    14th July 2012, 23:02

    Bernie: Felipe – How many times do I have to tell you this – You work for Ferrari – You ARE the number two driver

  69. “…and if the Germans try to arrest me I’ll go all Jason Bourne on them….” “You are insane, aren’t you?”

  70. Massa: Can you please ask Stefano Domenicali if I can stay just one more year!
    Bernie: I’lll show him a thing or two, Felipe!!!!

  71. Bernie: “I’ll hit hard you before the race even starts, then you won’t have to hit anything during the race”
    Filipe: “But Hitting things during the race is my favorite part”

  72. Massa:BERNIE!!!!Baby how are you?
    Bernie:If you say that one more time i will punch you.

  73. Massa: Bernie!! Baby!!!
    Bernie : STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!

  74. Massa: Hey dad.
    Bernie : %$^# off!!!

  75. Bernie: “Welcome to the has-been convention pal!”

  76. “Felipe, Bernie is stronger than you. Did you understand that message?”

  77. So Bernie — Me and Tamara have a bit of a thing going… She finds me just the right height, know what I mean? It’s getting serious, so…. ermmm…. how ’bout puttin’ in a good word for me at Ferrari, DAD???

  78. Ecclestone: I know you are getting better again. But remember santander doesn`t want you to beat Alonso…
    Massa: I know… money is more important than competition here… don`t worry…

  79. Ecclestone: I know you are getting better again. But remember santander doesn`t want you to beat Alonso…
    Massa: I know… money is more important than competition here… don`t worry…

  80. FM: oooo, so you’re still alive? :)
    BE: grrrrr … So you really want to lose that eye…

  81. Felipe, I’m gonna show you how to beat a champion!

  82. Bernie: If you say “For Sure” one more time…

  83. MASSA: after the spring i can withstand any amount of pain so…give me you best shot bernie!!
    BERNIE: i would but im stuck…bloody age…

  84. Ian (@valkyrassassin)
    16th July 2012, 22:13

    Bernie: Don’t you dare put your arm around me sonny, i don’t swing that way.

  85. Massa: B what do I need to do to stay at Ferrari?
    Bernie: You need balls as big as my fist son. Knock some Hamilton like Pastor does.

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