Former F1 driver turned BBC commentator and DTM racer David Coulthard has been in America doing a demonstration run for Red Bull this week.
This involved a visit from the Weehawken, New Jersey police force – and seemed a perfect picture for a Caption Competition.
So share your comedy caption in the comments below and look out for the pick of the best in the daily round-up.
Caption Competition
- Caption Competition 266: Verstappen’s team mates
- Caption Competition 265: Grin and bear it
- Caption Competition 264: Maxsplaining
- Caption Competition 263: Mercedes go underground
- Caption Competition 262: Ferrari family
Browse all previous Caption Competitions
Image via Red Bull on Twitter
dragoll (@dragoll)
18th August 2012, 10:07
DC: “I’m a racing driver, don’t you think I know where the steering wheel is…”
Gridl0k
18th August 2012, 15:43
First one wins it, for me :)
robk23 (@robk23)
18th August 2012, 10:08
“Who do you think you are, Lewis Hamilton?”
xeroxpt (@)
18th August 2012, 16:37
That’s because of those burnouts right?
PieLighter (@pielighter)
18th August 2012, 17:01
It’s a reference to how Stirling Moss got pulled over by plods for speeding or something, and the officer said “Who do you think you are, Stirling Moss?”. He didn’t realise who he was talking to.
James (@jamesf1)
18th August 2012, 20:53
Was actually a Citreon TV or VW Golf advert on in the 70s or 80s =)
Wojciech Lewandowski (@wlewy13)
18th August 2012, 10:12
-I know I was going a bit too fast but otherwise I wouldn’t have enough downforce…
-Mhm…
Mads (@mads)
18th August 2012, 10:20
@wlewy13
Haha!
Cyclops_PL (@cyclops_pl)
18th August 2012, 12:13
Masterpiece.
xeroxpt (@)
18th August 2012, 16:43
I really like this one, but i think I have a good one as well.
Officer: Son, you had the stereo too loud.
BBQ2
18th August 2012, 10:12
Officer: “get in there buddy!”…..
DC: “wait a minute, I am DC” ….
Officer: “Well, here is NJ, and you got yourself a ticket”
Red Andy (@red-andy)
18th August 2012, 10:17
“Sorry to bother you, Mr Coulthard. Someone mentioned doughnuts and we thought we’d better check it out.”
Miguel Bento (@miguelbento)
18th August 2012, 12:21
Nice :)
apsiloritis (@apsiloritis)
18th August 2012, 13:34
+1
xeroxpt (@)
18th August 2012, 16:44
Very good.
melkurion (@melkurion)
19th August 2012, 10:20
Awesome!!!
AndrewTanner (@andrewtanner)
21st August 2012, 13:07
@red-andy Pretty good!
Mads (@mads)
18th August 2012, 10:18
Officer: “Yeah yeah excuses, excuses. Mr. Coulthard, this picture is definitely you, right?, and look at the speed of your car 205mp/h. And now look at the sign right there in the corner. It says 35 right? What do you think that means?”
f199player (@f199player)
18th August 2012, 10:29
DC: “Yes officer I saw the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you”
ajitaw
18th August 2012, 10:30
“Sir I have official papers from the Queen of Eng…”
“Queen of who?!”
Milos Zivkovic (@iamaflyingfinn)
18th August 2012, 10:32
Welcome back to America.
alexf1man (@alexf1man)
18th August 2012, 10:32
We came down to check out your coke bottle. Can you tell us how it works?
Mads (@mads)
18th August 2012, 10:32
Officer: “You did over 200mph in a 35 zone. Who do you actually think you are? A racing driver?”
the_sigman (@sigman1998)
18th August 2012, 14:27
Nice one!
the_sigman (@sigman1998)
18th August 2012, 10:38
DC: Why do you arrest me?
Officer (Whiting): For causing a collision. So you will have a drive-through penalty.
DC: What is that?
Officer: What Pastor Maldonado does every race.
alexf1man (@alexf1man)
18th August 2012, 22:43
Maybe you could do it like a fast food restaurant… Drive Thru Penalty (no advertising or otherwise intended)!
Ring Joven (@ringjoven)
19th August 2012, 19:41
nice!!! i like!!!
Osvaldas31 (@osvaldas31)
18th August 2012, 10:45
Officer: “Get into the car!”
DC gets into the car.
Officer: “Now could you teach me how drive faster, I want to be the quickest cop in road chases!”
Max Jacobson (@vettel1)
18th August 2012, 10:56
Where are your tail lights sir?
lynchie (@lynchie)
18th August 2012, 10:59
Cop : “Sir, we are stopping you because we believe your Jawline is illegal”
DC : “wHHA… ? ”
Cop : ” Please try and put you face through this legality template… ” *holds up one of those templates like you get in the postoffice*
James Brickles (@brickles)
18th August 2012, 11:04
Police: “You were going 300 clicks!”
DC: “Was that too slow?”
James Brickles (@brickles)
18th August 2012, 11:07
Police: “You’re getting a ticket for that. Now how do you spell Coulthard?”
DC: “Yeah, it’s H-A-M-I-L-T-O-N”
davidnotcoulthard
19th August 2012, 11:27
Cop: ” “HAMILTON”?That doesn’t seem to read “Coulthard”, ah well, I suppose that’s how they spell it in Scottish Gaelic….”
Todd (@braketurnaccelerate)
18th August 2012, 11:15
Cop: “Here’s my patrol car. It can do 140mph”
Coulthard: “Oh…. That’s nothing, I was just doing 190 through the tunnel in my F1 car!”
Cop: “F1 car? What’s that?”
Coulthard: “A race car. You know, like on a race track”
Cop: “OHHHH. NASCAR!!”
Coulthard: “Noooo… F1 Car”
Cop: “Yea…. NASCAR!”
Coulthard: “Ok… NASCAR!”
davidnotcoulthard
18th August 2012, 11:21
“Mr. Policeman, I, as Red Bull’s representative, am arresting you for disturbing Sebastian Vettel during his run at New Jersey a few weeks ago. The fine will be US$666,777,666 and you’ll have 6 days to pay.”
Nick (@npf1)
18th August 2012, 11:38
DC was soon to find out, offering his ‘services’ to Policemen in the US didn’t mean the same as in the UK.
Prisoner Monkeys (@prisoner-monkeys)
18th August 2012, 11:43
Officer: “Scottish, you say? Then how come you don’t sound anything like Sean Connery?”
asdf1234 (@kobayashi)
18th August 2012, 12:00
DC: If I hide in here i’ll never be involved in a caption competition!!
davidnotcoulthard
18th August 2012, 12:06
Fantastic paradox! Beautiful!
Bri
18th August 2012, 12:08
Mr Couthard, I’m not aware of ‘British’ humour, but thats Our police district, not an invitation to relieve yourself on the passenger seat
Prisoner Monkeys (@prisoner-monkeys)
18th August 2012, 12:24
Coulthard: “So, do you really give out the death penalty for stealing chicken?”
Jay_au (@jay)
18th August 2012, 12:38
Shotgun!!!
frood19 (@frood19)
18th August 2012, 23:35
ha! my favourite so far!
electrolite (@electrolite)
18th August 2012, 12:55
‘Excuse me sir, it appears your jaw is causing an obstruction…’
Alex Brown (@splittimes)
19th August 2012, 21:32
‘Do you have a permit for that chin?’
claudio (@claudio)
18th August 2012, 12:58
“I’m sorry, Michael was chasing me”
S.J.M (@sjm)
18th August 2012, 13:12
“you’ve got the wrong man, THE WRONG MAN! It’s Eddie Jordan who wears the shirts, JORDAN! J…O…R….”
sato113 (@sato113)
18th August 2012, 13:24
‘Who do you think you are?! David Coulthard?!’
legnig (@legnig)
18th August 2012, 13:27
DC arrested for driving without valid insurance following manual ride height adjustments
AndrewT (@andrewt)
18th August 2012, 13:29
Good aft… Oh, other side, damn yank cars… So, good afternoon office, super license and registration, please!
Serv
18th August 2012, 13:31
“On the run since Belgium 1998 – finally got ya, punk!”
AndrewT (@andrewt)
18th August 2012, 13:32
officer*
James_mc (@james_mc)
18th August 2012, 13:46
The illegalities found on the RB8 eventually came back to haunt Red Bull….
CNSZU
18th August 2012, 16:04
Finally a good one.
Joey-Poey (@joey-poey)
18th August 2012, 13:49
“You wanted me to pull it over to the… ‘curb?’ I’m not sure what you… Oh, CAIRB! Yes, I can pull to the cairb.”
Maksutov (@maksutov)
18th August 2012, 13:52
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Matt (@agentmulder)
18th August 2012, 14:21
In an effort to connect with an American audience, David reinacted a scene from the popular TV show, “Jersey Shore.”
icemangrins (@icemangrins)
18th August 2012, 20:56
ha ha +1
James Brickles (@brickles)
18th August 2012, 14:32
“Previously on CSI Scotland…”
verstappen (@verstappen)
18th August 2012, 15:09
“We don’t care if you consider it your greatest moment in F1. You just do not overtake anyone with a raised middlefinger. Let alone a police officer!!”
Colossal Squid (@colossal-squid)
18th August 2012, 15:19
DC: “Excuse me, officer, do you know how slow you were going?”
SoLiDG (@solidg)
18th August 2012, 15:48
I’m sorry sir put your wing was flexing too much!
Picasso 1.9D FTW (@picasso-19d-ftw)
18th August 2012, 15:51
DC: “Weehawken Police? Well I’m hawkin’ a fizzy drink, beat that!”
evolutionut (@evolutionut)
18th August 2012, 16:24
police officer: so you was doing 190 mph in hudson tunnel…can i have your driving license please
xeroxpt (@)
18th August 2012, 16:39
Officer: I have caught the scotch driver.
Michael Brown (@)
18th August 2012, 17:41
Now I know how Lewis Hamilton feels
ajmal
18th August 2012, 18:27
officer – you f1 driver?
DC -Ya!!!!
officer – Lewis Hamilton!!!!
DC- Sir, please arrest me.
Kingshark (@kingshark)
18th August 2012, 18:30
Officer: How do you spell your last name, sir?
DC: M A L D O N A D O
Supremo
18th August 2012, 19:19
Winner !
Maksutov (@maksutov)
19th August 2012, 11:53
Haha..
Suave (@suave)
18th August 2012, 19:10
“Wait a minute… this isn’t my DTM Mercedes, and you’re not Ralf!”
icemangrins (@icemangrins)
18th August 2012, 19:26
you have to beleive me, Formula 1 cars don’t have a head light
icemangrins (@icemangrins)
18th August 2012, 19:26
@keithcollantine you gotta add your captions as well :-)
macahan (@macahan)
18th August 2012, 19:56
Not my problem you couldn’t record my speed.
Schmorbraten
18th August 2012, 20:16
Thinks to himself: ‘Must call Didi. NOW.’
Mariano (@mariano)
18th August 2012, 20:33
DC: “I insist officer, I didn’t activate the DRS”
icemangrins (@icemangrins)
18th August 2012, 20:41
you mean Bernie Eccelstone – short, annoying, really old and extremely condescending…….. no, I don’t know him. Can I go now?
James (@jamesf1)
18th August 2012, 20:55
Hawken decided to rename itself in honour of a famous Scot who visited it’s quiet patch.
Lothario
18th August 2012, 20:55
“I’m sorry officer that I had to go round that corner at a million miles per hour because if I was doing thirty, I would’ve crashed..”
ukk (@ukk)
18th August 2012, 20:57
Officer: come and have a look – our telemetry shows you’re loosing time at the entrance to the tunnel and on the main tunnel straight.
DC: that’ s everywhere! Just like in the old days with Mikka…
Fritz (@)
18th August 2012, 21:21
in stead of making a demonstration doughnut can i have one?
ivz (@ivz)
18th August 2012, 21:25
Cop: so you are telling me that your car has 750hp from a 2.5L engine, and then you push this little magic button, and you have over 800? What kind of black magic you working with here!?
Mads (@mads)
18th August 2012, 21:44
Officer: “Did you practice all the 117 excuses, for doing 6 times the speed limit, on the way here, or are you just improvising?”
Ann Idiot
18th August 2012, 22:15
“Do you snort when you laugh, or is your chin farting at me?”
Nick.UK (@)
18th August 2012, 22:16
DC: “But she said she was 18!”
TheJudge (@thejudge)
18th August 2012, 22:59
DC:”A ticket ,for driving an F1 car? Seriously?”
Mad Eric (@mad-eric)
19th August 2012, 1:24
Hmm. Your computer is much bigger than mine.
schooner (@schooner)
19th August 2012, 2:12
“Excuse me officer, is there anywhere to get some decent haggis around here?”
Nirmal
19th August 2012, 4:30
DC: But sir, I was driving on the “right” side of the road…
Fritz (@)
19th August 2012, 5:41
Instead of making a doughnut i want to eat one. Any here? wow
andy2k12 (@andy2k12)
19th August 2012, 8:15
DC: “So you must be the American Bernd, …right ?! What’s with the conditions out there on track ?”
(Bernd Mayländer is the official F1 SafetyCar-Driver)
James (@jamesf1)
19th August 2012, 13:51
A joke isnt so good when you have to explain the punchline.
mrgrieves (@mrgrieves)
19th August 2012, 8:45
Your street demo’s closed our doughnut shack. That’s a federal offence!
Darv
19th August 2012, 11:50
Is it because im Bla…..
Andy - BritsOnPole
19th August 2012, 12:31
The fashion police crackdown on the BBC F1 team was finally under way.
Aditya Banerjee (@chicanef1)
19th August 2012, 14:31
“Yeah, I brake-checked Michael, so what? You’re the police, not the goddamn Ferrari International Assistance(FIA).”
MahavirShah (@mahavirshah)
19th August 2012, 15:13
“… But officer I keep telling you I had NOTHING to do with the BBC-Sky coverage deal.”
Mike the bike Schumacher (@mike-the-bike-schumacher)
19th August 2012, 19:36
While the fashion police capture Mr. White Jeans, his partner Mr. Colourful Shirts is still at large
Joe Corry (@ithacajoe08)
19th August 2012, 19:56
DC: Ok Mr Director, Lesley Neilson’s just behind me, so let’s get on with this new Police Squad movie.
ukk (@ukk)
19th August 2012, 20:08
DC: I was told you guys like doughnuts …
chapmankillie (@chapmankillie)
19th August 2012, 21:32
Aye, I’ll get in…..but put the massage beads back on the seat first.
chapmankillie (@chapmankillie)
19th August 2012, 21:50
Even seat no.2 with you guys?
chapmankillie (@chapmankillie)
19th August 2012, 21:57
Shake ‘n’ bake!..That’s what you say here for sure?
DuncF1 (@duncf1)
20th August 2012, 10:06
“Och, aye. Ah went to school with a wee Hawken when I was just a little laddie”
Rosberg4WDC2012
20th August 2012, 10:45
Stop in the name of team orders, Klien wants a go.
mrcarpenter007 (@mrcarpenter007)
20th August 2012, 13:23
Officer: Who do yous think your are an F1 driver?
DC: Yup, what about the ticket?
Officer: Welcome to jersey fagetaboutit!
mkw11 (@mkw11)
20th August 2012, 22:06
Officer: (while searching DC) Do you know where you going?
DC: Yes I am going to my event to show off my moves but the
roads in America are in the wrong direction.
Mark Thomson (@melthom)
20th August 2012, 22:17
I DID have permission, officer!
ob1kenobi.23 (@ob1kenobi23)
21st August 2012, 3:55
DC, Really thoughtful of you to have my taxi painted in the Scottish colours.
It will match my helmet nicely.