Michael Schumacher, Ralf Schumacher, 2001

Caption Competition 25: The Schumachers

Caption Competition

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Michael Schumacher, Ralf Schumacher, 2001

The Caption Competition is back for the off-season and will have a slightly retro flavour while we wait for the new season to begin.

The first offering takes inspiration from Sniff Petrol’s hilarious series The Schumachers.

It’s up to you to decide what Michael and Ralf were discussing over cake in this picture from 2001. Post your funniest suggestion in the comments and look out for my pick of the best in tomorrow’s round-up.

See the best of last year’s Caption Competition winners here:

Caption Competition

Browse all previous Caption Competitions

Image ?? Ferrari spa/Ercole Colombo

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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  • 101 comments on “Caption Competition 25: The Schumachers”

    1. “No, I said ‘you’re CACK’ not ‘your cake.”

    2. Shumi : It feels great to be back in a Ferarri t shirt. Now I can have my cake and eat it !!!

    3. “Ralf goes to show that you CAN have your cake and eat it.”

    4. Ralf: “So you’re saying that if I eat this cake, I’ll gain your super human driving ability?”

    5. Mmmm, Cake…..
      Oooops, meant to be thinking up a caption, sorry, got distracted…

    6. Michael: “Nice cake, isn’t it?”
      Ralf: “Yeah, lovely!”

    7. Ralf: What’d you say was in this cake?
      Michael: Something to make you go faster.
      Ralf: Then why aren’t you eating it?
      Michael: Because I’m already fast, all I’ll do is gain weight.

    8. Michael: You know ralf if you drove as quickly as you eat you…actually nevermind

      1. Chris (@tophercheese21)
        5th January 2013, 11:21

        +1 Brilliant!

        1. Best one yet. :P

    9. Michael: “To buy this cake, I had to fly to Germany, because it’s cheaper there than in Switzerland.”

    10. Ralf: “Mmmm good cake, and before races, a very good idea of yours. What did you put in mine?”
      Michael: “…Nyquil…”

    11. It’s called The Breakfast of Champions. That’s why you’ve never tried it

    12. michael: i’m the better driver in the better team. the look on your face tells me i have a better taste in cake, too.
      ralf: …

    13. Michael: have these english people never heard of spoons ?

      1. davidnotcoulthard
        5th January 2013, 11:07

        Ralf:”Perhaps, but I know these people in this country in Southeast Asia with Monaco’s flag using spoons to eat…Rice! What was the country’s name……..Nederlands-Indië or someting like that? Do you know, Mike?

    14. Michael: Haha, a piece of cake. Thats what Ross Brawn said, when i asked him if he can repeat 2009 at Mercedes …funny, isnt it, Ralf?!

    15. davidnotcoulthard
      5th January 2013, 11:00

      MSC:”Brackley’s FAvourite Racing team/ BakeRy sure makes great cars….and cakes!”
      RSC:”BAR? It’s not like you’re dreaming of ever racing for the team, right?”

      9 years later…

    16. Michael: “I can’t believe you only ate Half of your first piece, i’m already on my 7th one”

    17. “Happy birthday Ralph ! Let’s celebrate the two of us”

    18. RS: Oh god this cake is disgusting, I must pretend to eat it.
      MS: Hang on he doesn’t have any cake on his fork!

    19. Michael: How are your Michelins on the Indy banking?
      Ralf: Like really good cake.

    20. Ok Michael, take this and promise me you won’t join DTM… it’s all I’ve got!

    21. Michael Schumacher: “I’m pretty sure winning 7 World Championship titles will be like this, a piece of cake.”

    22. Ralf : Michael, it seems I’m faster than you at eating this cake !

    23. Chris (@tophercheese21)
      5th January 2013, 11:28

      Ralf: Mmmm this cake is so good. Why aren’t you eating yours Michael?

      Michael: “Well I’m ‘preserving’ mine so that I can enjoy it later. That’s the problem with this cake; you have to eat it like you’re eating ‘on egg shells’. “

    24. Michael: “Now be honest, I want to make sure that I win that Cake Baking Championship!”
      Ralf: “7 World Drivers Championships, and its still not enough for you?”

    25. MSC: “Need your help, bro. If you’re racing against McLaren, give ’em hard times.”
      RSC: “Why would I do that? I still have a chance taking title this year.”
      MSC: “I’ll give you more cakes like this, goddamnit!”
      RSC: “Mmmmkay…”

    26. Ralf: “So is this what victory tastes like?”

    27. Michael: How does this “fork” work?

    28. “Ralf…does this mean we skip the weigh in later?”

    29. MSC: “Seriously, joining a car manufacturer such as Toyota would be a great career move!”

      1. turbotoaster (@)
        5th January 2013, 12:49

        My favourite

    30. So err…BMW Williams eh? I guess the proof will be in the pudding.

    31. RSC: “I don’t get it big bro… I can’t figure out why ppl call this cake The Taste of Victory…”
      MSC: “No wonder…”

    32. Schumi: “Real men eat the fork”

    33. Can you eat my piece? I don’t think I can afford to put on much weight with the number of years I plan to have in my career.

    34. Michael: taste it Ralph, you always put too much sugar. How many times must I teach you this?

    35. Ralf: “Well, Juan-Pablo is eating his own cake, and I’m doing the same. But as far as I can see, that particular cake on your plate belongs to Rubens…”

    36. Warum sprechen wir immer Englisch?

      1. That because f1fanatic has a policy that all comments must be in English.

    37. “So I told him that I didn’t think Les Miserables was the defining work of nineteenth-century French literature, because Alexandre Dumas was much better at capturing the Romanticism of the period in Le Comte de Monte-Cristo than Victor Hugo ever was.”

      “You do know there’s a camera pointed at us right now … don’t you?”

      “Uh … something about racing cars; bruumm, bruumm, bruumm!”

    38. MS: “Not as good as ice-cream? Seriously Ralf, have you ever seen a world champion who likes ice-cream??? Preposterous ! Ill quit Ferrari before that day comes !!! “

      1. admitting to laughing at this :)

    39. MSC: “So you think I’ll still be driving when I’m 43?”
      RSC: “Yeah, when Jaguar wins triple Constructors championships.”

    40. Michael: “Cake too bitter for you, Ralf? It’s just like the gravel traps you usually end up in.”

    41. Mère Çaidaisse
      5th January 2013, 14:02

      “Let’s celebrate! There are now TWO bad drivers in the family!”

    42. “You always were the greedy one Ralf!”

    43. Ralf was driving the best he ever had by this point, so michael had to do something to slow his quickening brother down and remain the top schumacher. It was in this moment michael discovered ralf’s kryptonite….

    44. There you go boy…. take the fork to your mouth not your mouth to the fork…

      1. Ha! The only one that has given me a chuckle so far!

    45. MS:I have always wondered why you’re called Ralf and not Half.

    46. msc: what really ****** me off is in 3-4 years there’ll be a blond finn going around with an ice cream in this same t-shirt, and everybody will talk about that, instead of me eating this cake with you.
      rsc: mmm…

    47. MSC: Is that the only thing you’re faster at than me?

    48. Michael: what’s the occasion for the cake?

      Ralf: I need to make minimum racing weight.

      Michael: I don’t remember Montoya ever having that problem.

    49. Having announced sponsorship from Gregg’s the bakers, they took the chance to do some valuable PR work…

    50. Michael: Bicause u eat that Cake faster u can’t have mine too.
      U growe enough allready.

    51. Michael: “take a look at your big brother Ralf. Great hair, great tan, a proper shirt. And the photographer ain’t going to get a photo of me eating. And THAT is why I win, and you don’t.”

    52. That’s a trick I learned from Senna too: say your family is even faster than you! It gets them a job they wouldn’t normally get…

      1. @verstappen
        HAHA! oh my. I laughed out loud over that one! Brilliant.

    53. Schumi: Easy on the cake, bro. Who are you trying to look like…Montoya?

    54. Michael: Why r we havin cake again Ralf?
      Ralf: I didn’t get any trophies…

    55. For the brothers Schumacher, cake was a prominent part of their careers at the time shown in this picture. For Michael, driving for Ferrari was very often a piece of cake. For Ralf, driving for Williams was very often done while eating cake.

    56. Michael: “I didn’t know that Bernie had such good baking skills”.

    57. vuelve kowalsky
      5th January 2013, 17:30

      enjoy the cake.
      Because this 2004 season it’s the only piece i am going to leave for the rest of the pack.

    58. vuelve kowalsky
      5th January 2013, 17:32

      now you understand why i am such a *******. The cake tastes so good, that i don’t want anybody else to have a piece of it.

    59. vuelve kowalsky
      5th January 2013, 17:39

      Here is the reason why michael dominated the early 2000’s.
      michael putting some extra weight on the closest competitor, to have the unfair advantage.
      As you can see he is not eating his piece, just fooling his younger brother into eating it.

    60. Michael: What do you mean, Mum and Dad are not giving us Christmas stockings next year???

    61. Michael: “Taste that, do you…? That’s the taste of second place… EAT IT”

    62. Are you sure this isn’t Juan Pablo’s?

    63. “I suppose we could open a restaurant”

    64. The Legendary Schumachers

      Dominating Formula 1 was a cake walk

      After a decade, eating humble pie

    65. MS: Do you think if I keep eating this cake, I will get slow by the time I hit 40?
      RS: I doubt it. I’ve been eating cake for years and I’m doing fine!

    66. ‘Ralf, you try it first. That way if it’s poisoned it’ll still be alright.’

    67. See? I told you: an aftertaste of Rubens’ bitter tears, seething helplessness and crushed spirit that lingers in the corner of your mouth for years. You can’t go wrong with my ‘Austria 2002 Special Mix’.

    68. ‘When you get half-way through, I’ll start. And I’ll still beat you to the end.’

    69. “i was thinking of starting a website. I might call it ‘inhale gasoline.'”

    70. “These Pirelli tyres taste quite nice. Can you imagine if they ever had something like this F1?!”

      (note: controversial).

    71. Michael: ” Its bitter sweet chocolate, tell me what you think?”
      Ralf: ” Now my mouth knows exactly how you felt after your comeback”

    72. ‘You know that move you pulled today? You’re on thin icing, bro…’

    73. and this is instead of salary in DTM?

    74. And you know little brother, for the last three years in F1 I got to understand what it is to be you. Enjoy your cake Ralf.

    75. Oh, by the way Ralf, I’m releasing my own condom brand now, hard, soft and rain in different colors. What do you honestly think about that?

    76. Rupert Richardson
      6th January 2013, 11:40

      If you eat that cake, Ralf, you’ll always be slower than me – oh, too late… Have mine too.

    77. Sviatoslav Andrushko (@)
      6th January 2013, 16:29

      – Does it taste like a new contract?

    78. I don’t know what all the fuss is about over Formula 1. If I wanted to see a driver do the same thing seventy-eight times before finally finishing…….I’d watch my wife try to park.

    79. Rubinho’s piece

    80. Michael (thinking) “when he looks away, that cake is mine”

    81. “I do say, big bro, this is the best bit of humble pie you’ve ever served me.”

    82. Liberate translation from German:

      MSC: “And then Jenson was like, “I’m, like, so gonna win a world title one day,” and I was like “whatever”
      RSC: “You tell ‘im.”

    83. Guillermo Deutsch
      7th January 2013, 17:58

      Schumi: “So you are not wearing my never washed lucky red socks I give you for birthday?”

    84. Michael: “Every time I win, I get a cake!”

      Ralf: “That’s what this is?!!!”

    85. “Almost like the sweet taste of victory… Oh wait you wouldn’t know would you Ralf”

    86. I told you it isn’t humble pie, it’s cake!

    87. Michael: That humble pie looks good, but I think Ill let mine mature for a few years.

    88. MS : “Mums’ better don’t you think” ?
      RS : “Hummm, let me see”…

    89. Mum said it would make you a better driver !!

    90. M : “bro,why this ic cream cake taste so flat?”
      R : “,idk,i got it from sauber’s garage ;) “

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