Caption Competition 40: Hamilton, Raikkonen and Vettel

Caption Competition

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What’s being said between this trio of 2013 race-winners?

It’s up to you to decide in our latest Caption Competition.

Post your funniest suggestion for a caption below and a pick of the best will appear in a future round-up.

The winner of Caption Competition 39 will appear in tomorrow’s round-up.

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Image © Korean GP/Sutton

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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170 comments on “Caption Competition 40: Hamilton, Raikkonen and Vettel”

  1. Kimi:”I’m thinking about sitting out for Austin and Interlagos. What do you guys think?”
    Lewis:”Come on man, don’t do this. I ain’t going for the FIA awards.”
    Sebastian:”It’s not that bad. The chicken were good last year.”

    1. Not bad at all

    2. Sorry for replying here… but can somebody please tell me the model name of the Sennheiser Headphone Sebastian is using? It certainly doesn’t look like the expensive Momentum ones…

    3. The worst part is, Seb’s facial expression fits this caption perfectly…and I’m a Seb fan! +1

  2. Lewis : “Look, guys I had nothing to do with Alonso’s new found love for Samurai quotes. One season at Mclaren does not do that to you!!!”

  3. Matt Parkinson
    7th December 2013, 10:49

    “Just ignore him Kimi, he’ll go away in a minute…”

    1. I like it. Very good. Seb seems to stick to Raikkonen more often than not, success doesn’t sparkle friendships especially after Raikkonen chose Ferrari over Red Bull.

  4. Chris (@tophercheese21)
    7th December 2013, 10:49

    Lewis Hamilton and Kimi Raikkonen chat with a young fan.

    1. Hahaha!

      That one made me laugh, I don’t know why!

    2. The only one that made me laugh- winner

    3. Chris (@tophercheese21)
      7th December 2013, 23:29

      Haha it’s my little take on that picture of Lauda and Beckham. ;)

    4. +1. That’s funny

    5. That’s a goodie!

    6. Best one yet

  5. LH: Can’t he drink anything other than REDBULL energy drink in public?
    KR: I don’t care. Just leave me alone. I don’t want to be here.

  6. Kimi asks Vettel and Hamilton, “so, do you guys know what LOTUS stands for?” Seb looks at Lewis as if to say, “we know where this is going.” Lewis shrugs his shoulders, smirks and says, ” go on then Kimi, what does LOTUS stand for?”
    “Lots Of Trouble, Unpaid Season!”

  7. Lewis: ‘Kimi, how’s your salary, did they pay it to you?’
    Kimi: ‘Yeah, it’s ok, Pastor promised to pay me at the end of the year.’

  8. Kimi: that stupid red bull is killing our championship hopes. Can’t we put something is Vettel’s drink tonight?

    Lewis: yea good idea. Seb will notice nothing.

    Kimi: eerrrrr Seb is standing next to us..

    1. Yes, Seb will notice nothing. He’ll still win!

  9. Kimi: So do you think you would be able to beat Seb if you take Mark’s place?
    Lewis: Sure man, I don’t think Vettel is unbeatable. His car is.
    Vettel: *smirks* You should post that on your twitter.

  10. Vettel: “Guys want some red bull to drink?”
    Kimi: “No thanks, we don’t need those extra wings to race, do we Lewis? “

  11. “my dog is bigger than your dog”

  12. Lewis to Kimi: ‘How much millions do you earn, dude?’ As Vettel is enviously hearing the response…

    1. Kimi’s reply: “Zero”

  13. Vettel: can I please join your tattoo club??

  14. “Guys, can I join your Sunglasses and Fullcaps Club?”

  15. Lewis “I kept on drinking till 4am in the morning Man. I totally lost it. I ended up with some wicked tattoo’s”
    Kimi “Well I kept on drinking till they ran out. But I know what I am doing”
    Seb “I don’t drink”
    Cue Kimi and Lewis laughing at poor little Seb.

  16. Lewis:”How do you guys get to swear on the podium??I never learnt it”
    Seb:”Get a Red Bull..It gives you wings..”
    Kimi:”Drink Coca-Cola Burn..You can know what you are doing”

    1. This just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever…

  17. LH: How’s your back pain now?
    KR: Cant you see I’m holding my hip?

    1. Nice! :D

  18. “Stop playing ‘We Are The Champions’ through your headphones, we get it”

    1. nice one, +1 props to you sir :)

    2. nice one

  19. Act casual but switch the conversation Kimi…looks like Seb’s carrying a wire…

    1. His headphones are wireless ;)

  20. Kimi – Lewis you are hiding your boldness.
    Lewis – at least I don’t drive anti dandruff car
    Kimi – Well, both is better than dying your hair like

  21. Lewis: Okay Kimi, this is why we brought you back into F1. Our deal is still on. You distract Alonso next year while I win the WDC..
    Kimi: Yes yes, I know what I’m doing.
    Lewis: Seb, remember due… we had an agreement and you’ve had your turn.
    VET: Alright. I am just worried about Riccardo. If the car is too quick and you cannot beat him, then someone will need to ;)
    Lewis: Well then we will just have to pull another Turkey on him like we’ve done to your previous team mate.
    VET: *Grins*

    1. due = dude

  22. Lewis: man, i swear, I didn’t copy your cap!

  23. Lewis: “Why can’t we win more than once? What kind of *** joke is this?”
    Kimi: “I dunno”
    Seb: “Because my finger is determined to stop you winning again”

  24. Didn’t expect this to be a ThreeToTango!

  25. Kimi:Guys I got the 4 movie tickets. Where’s Felipe?
    Seb & Lewis: **** that means Fernando’s coming!

  26. Kimi: Can you imagine – after paying me _not_ to drive for a year, now they want me back with Alonso.

  27. LH:”Did you hear “The Race of Champions” got canceled?
    SV:”Too bad it could have been 10 in a row”
    KR:”I don’t care”.

  28. Lewis “no flat hat,no big glasses, no freakin tattoo, and he’s winning everything,what’s wrong with this guy ?”
    Kimi “It has something to do with the haircolor creme “

  29. Kimi to both: I know what I’m doing, you don’t face your back to the cameras! *camera flashes*

  30. Kimi asks Lewis if he could ‘gift’ him some money to help pay for the final two races of the season.

  31. Kimi: “So you guys get paid when you win races?”

    1. good one mate

  32. Pretending to be friends shot ending in 3… 2… 1…

  33. Vettel: “Do you like my can of red bull?”

    Kimi: “Nah, burn drink is better”

    Hamilton: “Ah what the hell man, you didn’t get me any”

  34. Hamilton: We had plus 100 kg on our car so that you guys can win some this year.

  35. Photographer in green shirt in the right background: “mmmm, this is a very good gob stopper”

  36. LH: You realise Kimi, that this is the closest we’ve been to him all season?

    1. nice one :)

    2. Winner :D

  37. Lewis : You’ll see, it will be fun to start from the back, you’ll fight with Marussias, Caterhams, Williamses!”
    Sebastian : “Beware of Daniel, he will be difficult to pass!”
    Kimi : “**** that! I’m off on holidays!”

  38. Another one :

    Lewis : “Man, was it better for you when you left McLaren for Ferrari?”
    Kimi :”Well…”
    Sebastian : “Hey guys, can I join in? I’m interested in your conversation!”

  39. Kimi- I should be getting paid at the end of the month so do you guys fancy coming round to mine for a lads night in?

  40. not an entry but is that Valantino rossi moonlighting as a jurno in the background?

  41. Product Placement

  42. Kimi: “I still haven’t been paid guys, can anyone lend me some money for an ice cream?”

    1. Made me laugh :)

  43. … meanwhile, in Monaco Lewis shared a pub joke and Kimi showed no reaction #@$%! leaving photographers disappointed .. yet again

  44. I don’t know why I have 3 stars on my polo

  45. Lewis: “This hat completes me…”

  46. Lewis and Kimi discuss about how it is better to have tattoos on your arm than have three extra world championships.

    1. Pretty soon neither will have any arm space left.

  47. Kimi: We plays this game back home. You has to keep the eyes contact. You know, the first one to get the tentpole has to go do somethings embarrassing, like give the press interview to Will Buxton and only talks about his molest-stache.

  48. Don’t reveal anything about our arm tatoo, someone listen to us

  49. Lewis: “Yo Seb, your flies are undone”
    Seb: “Let me quote “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what i’m doing”.”
    Kimi: “No you don’t mate”

  50. Kimi: “Lewis, why did you start using a cap like mine?”
    Seb looks at Lewis while he struggles for an answer.

  51. OmarR-Pepper (@)
    7th December 2013, 14:42

    “Kimi, welcome to the “We annoy Fernando” Club.

  52. Kimi: Perez is behind me isn’t he?

  53. David not Coulthard (@)
    7th December 2013, 15:03

    2nd edit:

    Lewis: Why did you skip Austin and Interlagos, mate?

    Kimi: Didn’t I tell you before Melbourne, when both of us put on tatoos because you said they would win us the championship, that if neither of us are champions at the end of the year I was going to just skip the final 2 races? You’re lucky I managed to find a way to put the blame in Enstone instead of your door!

    1. Kimi doesnt talk so much!

  54. Lewis: Shall we tell it to him Kimi?
    Kimi: Alright let’s do it. Seb your hair looks terrible !!

  55. Kimi ,who is Seb fantasizing about ? you or me ?

  56. Lewis: “How can you be friend with this guy seriously?”
    Kimi: “Erhhhh…i dont care”
    Seb: “Guys?”

  57. Kimi: “Would you go back to McLaren?”
    Lewis: “Maybe, but I left them…”

  58. The amount of tattoos is inversely proportional to the frustrations in an F1 career.

  59. The league of extraordinarily interested and caring Gentlemen.

    1. OmarR-Pepper (@)
      7th December 2013, 16:54


  60. “Look at these two. They think tattoos are trophies.”

  61. KR: “So then Alan told me to let Grosjean through, and I was like **** that”
    SV: “Well done Paduan”

  62. Raikkonen: (whispering) “So listen kids, you wanna buy some vodka? Right here. Won’t tell anyone”

  63. KR: Have you got a euro for the ice cream fridge

  64. “What are the best earphones to get?” asks Kimi. “The team’s got some, but Davide’s always using them.”

    1. good one :)

  65. Just avoid the eye contact and he won’t raise a finger if he thinks no one is looking.

  66. “Heikki, did anyone ever tell you that you look exactly like Kimi Raikkonen?”

  67. Jack (@jackisthestig)
    7th December 2013, 16:59

    Lewis wasn’t very impressed when he overheared Kimi and Seb discussing “how irritating is that woman on Xfactor!”.

  68. Lewis : Did we win a race this season man ? I can’t remember when
    Kimi : (inaudible mumbling)
    Seb: Flashes his cheeky Smile

  69. ‘So, Lewis, those ‘energy drink party teams’ don’t look so bad now do they…’

  70. ”Oh look Seb, it’s the new exhibit at Madame Tussauds”

    ”I think you’ll find that’s the real Kimi”

  71. Hamilton to Kimi: Is that a can of Red Bull in Sebs hands or is he just happy to see me!

  72. Lewis: ” Seb’s finger got stuck in the bottle..should we help him?
    Kimi: “i don’t know,,,err..whatever…i am leaving…..”
    Lewis:” Forget it…we will be saved from the dreaded finger this week!!!!”

    1. David not Coulthard (@)
      8th December 2013, 5:51

      @svarun ..we’ll instead see the bottle being shown!

  73. LATG (@lotus-grosjean)
    7th December 2013, 19:03

    I have talked to Seb and he will help you overtake me in the Championship Standings so I don’t need to go to the Awards Ceremony.

  74. Kimi: “We are going to destroy you and Fernando at table tennis after the F1 gala.
    Seb: “Just saying”

  75. 3 stars on the shirt, but 6 stars in the picture!

  76. Kimi: Please guys, only 50 euro. I’ll pay you back in Austin. Promise.

  77. Lewis tries to console a confused Kimi at the start to the 2014 season. “Don’t worry, I drove into my old team’s pitbox… but this is probably taking it a bit further”

  78. Lewis: So, do you want to hear something funny?

    Kimi: …

    Seb: Yeah, go on…

    Lewis: The MP4-28.

  79. – promised dad money. Never gave it.
    – got promised money by Lotus. Never got it.
    – got 4 WDC, but the money is less than your promises added up.

  80. Sebastian and Kimi confront Lewis for not tweeting about the ‘secret’ tire test…

  81. Kimi: My back hurts.
    Lewis: I’m trying hard to think of something real pithy for my next tweet.
    Seb: My Red Bull has wings.

  82. Seb “Why are you guys wearing those silly flat billed hats, my 80’s headphones are so sweet” Kimi to Lewis “Who is this kid? I bet that is Redbull with out Yager in that bottle… what a looser”

  83. Lewis: “Seb, me and Kimi have been talking, and when we said that the three of us would each take a third of the year…”

  84. Kimi: Hey Lewis, did you get your paycheck this month?
    Lewis: Yeah man, already spent it (snigger)
    Kimi: how about you Seb, cheque arrived?
    Seb: Yep
    Kimi: Damn, they lost my cheque again. Gotta talk to Eric, HR are always screwing up my pay.

  85. Lewis: Kimi,if you want I can teach you how to reeeally get under Alonso’s skin until he freaks out.
    Seb: Vot are you guyz talking about?
    Kimi: Irritating your team mate.
    Seb: I can give you some pointerz on zat azz vell.

  86. So, Kimi, you really hate when two race weekends are “back to back” ?!

  87. Seb: Hey Lewis, you look devastated – late night talks with your engineers ?
    Lewis: Yeah, Nicole broke up again .. Had to have some company.
    Kimi: Don’t worry Lewis. Things will get fine. Ferrari dumped me and now we are back together again.

  88. Lewis to Kimi: See, I told you he wouldn’t go away if we ignored him. He’ll just keep staring and playing with his Red Bull can until one of us says something to him.

  89. Kimi: “…come on.”
    Lewis: “Listen Man, I am not going to let Roscoe ‘try some Vodka'”
    Seb: “But what about…”
    Lewis: “And DEFINITELY not a Vodka Redbull!”

  90. Kimi: It must be karma. Ferrari pay me not to drive and now Lotus won’t pay me for driving.
    Lewis: That sucks man.
    Seb: Now Pastor is paying Lotus to let him drive.
    Kimi: F1 is really screwed up.

  91. “Fernando? What a pity, I must have forgotten to invite him…”

  92. “Yeah, Kimi, only real men have tattoos.”

  93. Raikkonen: “You heard it right! I’ve turned my back on Lotus.”

  94. Kimi: “Hey guys, I just got payed, want an icecream?”

  95. Ere Kimi, these go-faster tattoos just aren’t working.. Vettels got the right idea!

  96. SEB: “I’ve got a goatee” but “Hamilton has got a new cap…” **** I just made highlights and I have to get tats too.

  97. Kimi: “You see Lewis, Seb had a bit of Deep Purple on his livery this year, cause he’s a real Highway Star, a Speed King.”
    Lewis: “Yeah, and Smoke on the Tarmac, too.”

    1. WARNING: only seasoned veterans that’s been around since the sixties, seventies may understand this one!

      1. Or you were born later and just know something about 60’s and 70’s music…

        1. Thank you Google

  98. They conspiring about what to do with Fernando Alonso next year :3

  99. Lewis: Hey Kimi, watch out, there’s a tattoo nude dude gonna spray you with Bull pee

  100. I was just telling Seb about girls.

  101. Lewis:”hey kimi face the camera’s,F1 fanatic’s user’s won’t get a good caption without your expressions. ”
    Kimi:” I know .I know…I know what I am doing…you need not remind all the time.!!!”

  102. Webber is at the press conference for the six most charismatic F1 drivers.

    1. Yes I quoted the last winners caption mostly. 1 – it looked like a good follow up.
      2 – in the unlikely chance it could win give the prize to a needy child.

  103. “Hey, ya think anyone can resist our charisma?”

  104. The first meeting of the racing driver workers union (RDWU) took place in an informal way. Some of the demands on there agenda:

    1. Getting payed now and then
    2. Replacing Lollipop-men with Lollipop-girls
    3. A decent car

  105. “So that’s why Kimi missed the last two races – he’s still trying to win his staring contest with that cardboard cut-out of Lewis Hamilton!”

  106. I’ve used this caption before, but hey:

    Kimi: “Can you see anything through these sunglasses?”
    Lewis: “No…can you?”

  107. Ok Kimi, let’s face it: googles don’t make cars run faster

  108. Lewis ” Whatever you do, don’t lend your ipad to my dad”

  109. Hey Kimi, do you remember the last time we were so close to Vettel?

    1. *this close to Vettel

      sorry about that

  110. LH: “Ya promised me back that fiver, Kimi”
    KR: “I will pay, I promise, but I’m livin on soup now, still waiting for my salary. If I don’t get it I’ll just steal the car and sell it.”

  111. Hamilton saying: “Thanks Kimi for finishing 2 races early, otherwise I would be fifth in the championship”
    Vettel thinking: “lol, squabble amongst yourselves for the minor placings!”

  112. The first meeting of the “No Fernando’s Club”.

  113. Lewis: Man, these hash tags can be annoying when you don’t get them right .
    Kimi: yaaa , My team is going crazy with them like #wehiredmaldonadoforfun .
    Seb : What is a hash tag ?

  114. LH: Yeah Seb, we can hook you up with a tat man that almost always sterilizes his needles, right Kimi?

    KR: Yeah!

    SV: Ok great guys…and I think I will have him use Red Bull instead of ink!

  115. LH: Man, I’ve heard you are…
    KR: I am not worried about him but I am looking forward to some warrior quotes.
    SV: Hehehehe

  116. Kimi: “New sunglasses, Lewis?”
    Lewis: “Yeah, man! Nicole bought them. She says she’ll kill me if I ever lose them!”
    Seb: “Lucky she doesn’t feel that way about the past four World Championships.”

  117. Pictured: Lewis and Kimi fail to recognize Sebastian without his standard greeting: the wagging finger.

  118. Lewis – “Have you looked at the data Kimi? By the look of it the Merc and Ferrari engine’s are going to destroy the Renault V6 Next year.”
    Kimi – “Its a good job Im off to Ferrari then!”

  119. Kimi: Is the photographer gone yet? I don’t want to end up a caption competition on F1 Fanatic.

  120. Embarrassing innit Kimi? Four times world champion and he still can’t open the can…

  121. Not a proper champ without ink on his forearms, amirite Kimi?

  122. SV: No seriously, don’t use that anti-dandruff shampoo. Look what it did to my hair.
    LH: Mine was so bad after using it I have to wear this giant cap now to cover it.
    KR: Leave me alone, I know what I’m doing.

  123. Seb: I reckon I could beat you two’s in a GP3 car ..
    Lewis: Kimi, keep it cool. Ice cool – Yeah; ice cream in your mouth – not his babyface
    Kimi: He needs to cool down man! I’ve had enough of this IceMan nickname. I’m back in a hot red Ferrari, call me .. fireman!
    Lewis: What about the wind tunnel? The weather forecast has been pretty bad last couple of seasons.
    Kimi: I know what I’m doing! I’ve called Hakkinen and he is posting me a true Sauna – MADE IN FINLAND!
    Seb: My aero-parts are mainly made in Asian sweatshops..
    Lewis: I’m sure my Twitter friend Angela Merkel will get top-secret nazi blueprints from the archives the British and Americans never found during WW2, and that Mercedes will re-discover something similar to the V2-rocket to make the Silver Arrow fly by you.
    Seb: One of our main sponsors are Infinity. INFINITY! I’ll have infinite points by the time I’ve had my seat fitted before Jerez.
    Lewis: I just want real rubber back .. foot down! We don’t need rubber imitating bubblegum to have slower and faster cars. We’ve got drivers, KERS and DRS for that.
    Kimi: Yeah, .. bubblegum is for kids .. More wheel to wheel action. *tilts head towards Sebastian*
    Seb: Hahahaaha YES!! YES!! YES!! … What? I have chewed you up for four seasons and blowed bubbles with the Pirellis! Ich liebe Pirelli rubber!! My Red Bull will starve if it doesn’t get Pirellis!!
    Lewis: It will. The English long bow aim The Silver Arrow and shoots only for bullseye 25’s.
    Kimi: The prancing horse have got a proper jokey now. I’ll pick the apples whilst you two can look after and trade carrots, .. yes! Single digit points with Alonso’s little donkey!!
    I do what I want, and I have a clause in my contracts that only outgoing radio messages comes from my car. The FireMan knows how to put together 70 hot laps and get a stop-go penalty on the penultimate lap so I can get an ice cream for the last lap to cool off whilst I breeze past you after u have unlapped yourselves.

    Lewis: Can you please share your ice cream with the Red Bull. It’ll be very tired after running in circles with the donkey.

    Seb laughs, but it’s not a genuine laugh. It’s like a little boys laugh when the grownups made a joke he didn’t understand and he is concerned what Alonso will be able to do driving an authentic sauna wind tunneled aero donkey in 2014 rather than the slimey red slug he’s been sliding around in for two seasons…

  124. Lewie and Kimi are discussing whether how the heck Seb does a perfect donut when he wins.

  125. Seb – What you chatting about guys?
    Lewis – Don’t tell him Kimi
    Kim – Errrr nothing.Hey, dude whats up with no tatoo?
    Lewis – Yeah man, get a cap and a tatoo and drink a non-RedBull energy drink, then we’ll tell you.
    Seb – OK, actually no, I have a podium to get on top of, but see you later!

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