Caption Competition 46: Villeneuve and Heidfeld

Caption Competition

Posted on

| Written by

Jacques Villeneuve has been back in the news this week after confirming he will race in the FIA World Rallycross Championship.

He also delivered a damning verdict on the state of modern F1 in a series of media interviews.

For this week’s Caption Competition here’s an unusual picture of Villeneuve with team mate Nick Heidfeld during his last F1 season with BMW Sauber in 2006.

Wield your wit and suggest the funniest caption you can come up with below. A selection of the best will appear in the next F1 Fanatic round-up.

Caption Competition

Browse all Caption Competitions

Image © BMW

Author information

Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

Got a potential story, tip or enquiry? Find out more about RaceFans and contact us here.

86 comments on “Caption Competition 46: Villeneuve and Heidfeld”

  1. Having publicly criticised the current state of F1, Jacques Villeneuve sends out invitations to his new rivalling racing category. He receives only one reply.

  2. Two field workers help children move about in a BMW PR event. With some straw.

  3. “Hey Nick, we need some kind of drag reduction system here”

    1. hehe not bad! :)

    2. seriously, what kind of PR work was that?!??!

  4. John Sertori (@Adorimedia)
    15th February 2014, 12:54

    “So Mario said to me “tidy my garden and I’ll think about it”. So I did and I kept my race seat!”

  5. “I thought you hated gimmicks.”

  6. Nick this reminds me of when my dad made me clear snowmobile tracks in the summertime. Tabernac!

  7. Villeneuve: “We could really use a drag reduction system right now”

    1. Chris (@tophercheese21)
      15th February 2014, 14:11

      HA! Love it.

    2. Nick: “If only there was some way to reduce the rear downforce”
      Jacques: “But who will listen to you? You’ve never even won a race, yet alone a championship – so if you were a team you wouldn’t be part of the Strategy Working Group”

    3. Sorry, I’ve just realised now that my caption is very similar to @iamdanthomas!

  8. “Jacques, are you sure these mandrake roots will make our car faster?”

  9. The Petronas team was clearly no match for BMW power in this tug of war event.

  10. “Just you wait till the boys in the factory see my new KERS idea”

  11. “See, I told you all that F1 was much less silly back when I raced.”

  12. Jacques and Nick introduce the first two pilots in the BMW Young Driver Scheme…

  13. For once we need less grip!

  14. J:So I’m going to drive cars again, rally cross.
    H: Really?

    1. @ardenflo This made laugh very, very hard. Well done!

  15. “JV and NH are pictured here trying out the proposed new testing restrictions. It was the last straw for both JV and BMW.”

  16. “Those jeans”

  17. “More reliable than Renault”


    “It has taken us 2 hours but we have clocked in more mileage than Red Bull”

  18. NEW LOW!!! F1 drivers Villeneuve and Heidfeld caught steeling children at bmw pr event

    1. I meant to say former f1 teamates not f1 drivers

  19. NH: Hey Jacques! Ever get the feeling you’re being followed?

  20. The revised Young Driver Training Program in action. JV and NH pass along their knowledge of picking up a tow and drafting.

  21. As it turns out, F1 drivers do not know how a three legged race work.

  22. “Bernie’s latest gimmick is for drivers to do a Le-Man’s start whilst dragging children before they can race. Predictably though, Jacques gave up halfway through, dyed his hair and released a bunch of terrible songs”

  23. JV: “You know, I’m starting to wish that we could use some kind of movable rear wing right now as my rear right is cramped.”

  24. JV: “Okay, this was NOT part of my contract!”

  25. JV: “Dang, this is proving to be so hard but at least I’m lapping at a similar pace with you.”
    NH: ” Yeah, Not Bad for a Number 2 driver.”

  26. David not Coulthard (@)
    15th February 2014, 14:20

    Adding 1 break-humanpower to the power of the car on race day.

  27. Heidfeld:So how do you think the car will perform?
    Villeneuve:Quicker than we are moving these people!

  28. Child#1 “These 2 BMW engines pull really well”

  29. David not Coulthard (@)
    15th February 2014, 14:24

    Petronas – so slippery you’ll easily be able to carry a child on leaves with Petronas spread on its bottom.

  30. OmarR-Pepper (@)
    15th February 2014, 14:27

    “Hey, this kid Sebastian is quite bossy, I even have to pull him”.

  31. You know you’re wealthy when you can afford F1 drivers for your kids’ birthday party.

  32. JV and NH draw straws for number one status on the team.

  33. Nick, “This is not how you do Rallycross champ!”

  34. After kidnapping two small children, Villeneuve and Heidfeld soon found themselves without an F1 drive.

  35. JV: “Why did the FIA ask us to do this?”
    NH: “They wanted to check how reliable the 2020 engine would be.”

  36. The good old days of Formula 1 when people still followed us!

  37. Kid 1: Faster driver, faster!

    Kid 2: Push driver, push!

    NH to JV: And we thought we’d have a break today from radio chatter.

  38. NH : “Didn’t I say that the car feels exactly like dragging dead weight ion a grass field?”

    1. *on a grass field

  39. “Haha, I can pull mine faster than you, he’s lighter,” says the kid on the right.

  40. Girl on the left: “Run forest, run! Bernie is waiting for us”

  41. “Cleaning up this park would be a lot easier if these darn kids would leave us alone!’

  42. Villeneuve and Heidfeld attempt to replicate the sound of the new v6 engines.

  43. “Dad, you told us there’d be REAL Formula 1 drivers here…”

  44. Heidfeld kid: ‘I asked mine to grow a beard, wanna bet he complies?’
    Villeneuve kid: ‘No man, I asked mine to never whine again, but somehow I think he won’t comply…’

  45. Look, we are actually ahead of someone!

  46. All I said is that I can do anything in my capacity to be a champion again

  47. In my day, drivers had individuality and personality and didn’t have to wear embarrassingly identical outfits to cringeworthy photoshoots.

  48. JV : I was wrong…… DRS is needed….

  49. JV : So , is this the way of popularizing the sport at the grassroots level ?

  50. Jacques and Nick demonstrate the FIA’s latest 2014 rule change to improve the show.

  51. “They went too far with that damn cost reduction!”

  52. Are we holding Yewtrees?

  53. J: Stop cheating, Nick.
    N: I’m not! You shouldn’t have taken the fatter kid :-)
    J: K… whatever…

  54. Jacques and Nick discover with disappointment what Petronas actually meant when they asked the drivers to go on a campaign to bring more spectators to the Malaysia GP.

  55. Villeueneve practicing on the dirt, preparing for the World Rally Championship.

  56. Slow down Jacques, you’re as determined as if you think F1 has too many pay drivers!

  57. Child 1 to child 2:
    “Lets call them two old bankers with a B, otherwise the caption won’t be allowed”.

  58. Hey this pay driver era makes it dead set easy to get a drive . Too bad your broke Nick !

  59. Villeneuve: “You know when I said modern f1 drivers lacked personality? I totally meant you.”

  60. ‘Hey Jacques, what you think is more dead: this tree, or your career?’

  61. I told you these kids are heaver than they look

  62. “A few more of these Jacques, and you can practice on pulling your own weight again before you lose your F1 seat.”

  63. “They said that if we pull these kids over there, they’ll give us clothes that fit properly”

  64. Not sure this is what they mean when they say: having kids makes a driver slower!

  65. “So I guess what I’m trying to say is this was how it was like driving the BAR in ’99!”

  66. F1 in 2030 – Moving from Horsepower to Manpower

  67. This is the deal Nick, we drag these rascals on the grid, we sacrifice them to Bernie, and we are off the hook.
    After, we can start the folk band we always wanted to start; of course, I’ll be the band leader.

  68. JV and NH once again showing the world that by saving money on ploughs you can use the extra money to run a GP

  69. NH: This is the last time we play ‘truth or dare’ with Bernie!

  70. JV: This is the last straw. I’m finished with F1.

  71. So, this is the junior driving program?

  72. JV: Pretty heavy, huh Nick?
    NH: Really dude..?

  73. Extreme measures were called for by the Malaysian Government to fill every grandstand seat at the Sepang circuit!

  74. This is how Formula-E will be raced.

Comments are closed.