Lewis Hamilton, Fernando Alonso, Shanghai, 2014

Caption Competition 49: Hamilton and Alonso

Caption Competition

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Lewis Hamilton, Fernando Alonso, Shanghai, 2014

What did Lewis Hamilton have to say to Fernando Alonso on the podium at the Chinese Grand Prix?

Submit your funniest suggestion for this week’s caption competition in the comments below.

As usual a selection of the best will appear in the next F1 Fanatic round-up.

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Image © Ferrari/Ercole Colombo

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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  • 169 comments on “Caption Competition 49: Hamilton and Alonso”

    1. Hamilton: Did you see Vettel?.
      Alonso: Who?.

    2. “…then I said to Seb, that is what dominance feels like!”

    3. LH: Hey Nando! Your car may be a cleaning device but you do realise Mercedes are on for a clean sweep!

      FA: …

    4. Lewis : How do you suppress your teamates? I want to do the same to Nico

    5. Alonso: “Vettel had a new mechanic for today”

    6. Hamilton: “will you STOP looking at my girlfriend with that face, please?”

    7. Hamilton: ” Fernando, hey, umm, I don’t want to alarm you but, you seem to have a black tape worm protruding from your stomach”.

      1. lol!

      2. That is actually his intestines, for you see…Fernando is a robot!

    8. You wanna try singing crazy frog?

    9. And i said to Nico “did you notice something on the back of my car”

      1. Good one

    10. Lewis: “I heard a rumor, Kimi and Nico are joining their forces in a bar this night.”

    11. Are you taking the Pirelli cap as well? I thought we can only keep these mics.

    12. Chris (@tophercheese21)
      26th April 2014, 11:20

      Lewis: “When’s your next shipment of Teammatium Oblitoratus coming in? I’m almost dry… Man.”

    13. LH: “That was a good race, huh?”
      FA: “Yes.”

    14. Damn, it feels nice having you up here and not Seb!

    15. What did Lewis Hamilton have to say to Fernando Alonso on the podium at the Chinese Grand Prix?


      What? That’s what it says.

      1. Hollis Krause (@ugncreative-usergname)
        26th April 2014, 18:28

        I know it doesn’t work as a caption, but this deserves a comment saying how funny it is. So here.

      2. All it needs is a speech bubble.

    16. So then I said “switch Massa’s wheels around, It’ll be hilarious”!

    17. LH: Do you remember how much fun 2007 was?

      1. “Swap deal with Nico?”

    18. “I can tell Toto you are the best replacement of Nico.”

    19. Lewis: “And then I said to Sebastian, Monster gives you wins”

      1. Saying that, I’m not sure now, are Monster still a sponser of Mercedes?

        1. I still see the Monster claw marks on both drivers helmets, so I assume they are.

    20. “I’ve been told that you are the man to talk to if I want to buy an expensive vacuum cleaner”.

      1. Lol

    21. LH: Fernando, your eyes are so dreamy, you make me wanna open my DRS on corners…
      FA: Stop itttttt, he heee

    22. Romantic Dinner at McDonalds tonight?

    23. LH: do you wanna having kids? FA: why? LH: so I can be even faster than you!

    24. They took away my Pirelli cap to give to the winner of F1fanatic’s prediction competition!

    25. Hamilton: “…so then I say to them, “I never expected to be the #1 in the team!”

    26. “You are not hiring Ross Brawn are you??”

    27. LH: “And then they say, same cars and both have equal treatment”
      FA: “Know what you mean, we have the same thing at Ferrari”

      1. ++ Excellent!

      2. Brilliant!!!

    28. “Hey man, we’ve got mics…whatta ya say we bust a rhyme?”

      1. FA: ok you start.
        LH: ok…Liegate, Tiregate…
        FA: Spygate, Crashgate…
        LH: Save weight
        FA: Luca hates
        LH: Honda waits
        FA: Bernie takes
        LH: Dennis a flake
        FA: Sensors mistake
        LH: Eff Drake

        1. @robbie
          “We didn’t start the fire
          It was always burning
          Since the wheels’s been turning”

          1. I thought it read very like the Billy Joel song!

            1. @vettel1 Lol…now that you mention it…

            2. @robbie @vettel1 Max is right! It does read like “We didn’t start the fire”! Can’t believe I didn’t pick up on that! :)

        2. @robbie
          Very good mate
          Everybody shake
          Contest at stake
          Yours’ a good bait

    29. LH: Fernando, what are you looking at?
      FA: Sebastian finishing the race.

      1. I think we may have found our winner!

      2. Good one ;)

      3. Winner! lol

    30. Easy to read LH’s lips as he whispers right into FA’s ear…”Hee hee…PRIX…I still think it’s funny pronouncing it wrong.”

    31. lewis: toto told me he wants you as my teammate next year
      fernando: say what?

      1. +1 probably accurate :)

    32. Manufacturers are the best, arent they?

    33. LH: So, except for Lotus, it seems cars without codpieces are the way to go this year…

    34. Daniel McCarthy
      26th April 2014, 13:11

      LH: Hired a new team principle with no racing experience huh?

      FA: Err yeah…

      LH: Better make the most of this podium then bro!

    35. Hamilton: “Have you seen Roscoe?”
      Alonso: “Yes, he was being served at the local restaurant yesterday”
      Hamilton: “Really? What was he eating?”
      Alonso: …

      1. Ha, if only it was in Korea ;)

    36. Right, so you quit Ferrari for McLaren then Seb will get stuck in Maranello.

    37. And then he said, “Tough luck”.

    38. So anyway… as I was saying Fernando… I said to Sebastian, don’t know about wings… Reb Bull gives me wind…. should be piping that to the turbo on the straights… ahahahha

    39. Hamilton’s cap draws inspiration from the Auto Union Type C.

    40. LH : Why Nico is so childish out here ?
      FA : He doesn’t have our caps.

    41. LH: At last a worthy competitor along side me on the podium…
      FA: ditto…

    42. “If you keep friends with me I’ll convince Toto to get you in and Nico out”

    43. Matthew Abbott
      26th April 2014, 13:55

      LH: How long you reckon I can keep dominating Nico before he delays me at the pits?

      1. FA: Depends on what you mean with dominating. If you mean Nico winning in Malaysia, Monaco and Nürburgring, while you win in Montreal and Indianapolis, then I guess that he will delay you in the pits by Hungary if you do not respect the agreements on alternating higher fuel load for each race.

    44. …and Wolff said if you keep bashing Ferrari you can have Nico seat next year

    45. LH: So much for capping costs…mine’s unique and you’ve got two!

      1. That was a brilliant caption. LOVE IT!!

    46. Fernando makes his leanings towards Mercedes very clear after another 1-2 by Mercedes in China .

    47. LH : Feels like ’07 again , man !

    48. Ham “Just keep smiling for the cameras and listen. Don’t you ever dare to squeeze your way into my team.”

    49. FA: So… that’s what i need to do to take Nico out of the team

    50. You realise our team mates are throwing darts at our faces right now, right?

    51. LH: Hey Fernando, did you hear that Renault modeled this year’s engine on an ice-cream churner in honour of Kimi?
      FA: [frozen smile into the distance as realization dawns]

    52. HAM:Hey Nando how about a swop , a Merc engine for a night with your girlfriend?
      ALO: Sure you wouldn’t prefer another race director i hear Stefano is free!

    53. Lewis: “OK, on 3, point at Ron and wave”

      1. LOL!!! Great one!

      2. Chris (@tophercheese21)
        26th April 2014, 16:53


      3. Love this one, winner!

      4. Just great! +1

    54. Jack (@jackisthestig)
      26th April 2014, 14:54

      “… she doesn’t even like Herbal Essances, we just use it to wash the dog!”

      1. WilliamB (@william-brierty)
        26th April 2014, 20:59

        @jackisthestig – Game, set and match dear chap…

    55. “…And then they said, ‘Daniel is faster than you’!!”

    56. Lotus-Grosjean
      26th April 2014, 15:30

      LH: What brought you here?
      FA: Maybe the polluted air helped Ferrari engine work more efficiently.

    57. Lotus-Grosjean
      26th April 2014, 15:33

      LH: What brought you here?
      FA: These horses that Chinese guy gave us.

    58. “Vettel had to let Ricciardo through. Again.”

    59. LH. No your the fastest.
      FA. No your the fastest
      LH. No your the fastest
      FA. No your…………

    60. “Nico is a good pupil, are you happy with your apprentice at Ferrari?”

    61. Ham: “If you like I can tow you next time..”

    62. Ham: It’s spelled M e r c e d e s, but I don’t have the phone no with me right now”

    63. LH: “Am I the best or what ?”
      FA: “hihihihihihhiiii !”

    64. LH: “And then Christian told Seb to let Daniel through!”
      FA:”I feel SO sorry for him…”

    65. A Merc is faster than a Fi4t.

    66. Do you think you can get me a big discount from Mattiacci ?

    67. LH: Alonso, pose for the cameras hip hop style
      FA: Lean back, lean back

    68. LH: Well done on winning the B-Category

    69. How would you feel if Kimi had a radio ” Fernando is faster than you “

    70. GB (@bgp001ruled)
      26th April 2014, 16:58

      – My Merc might be a good car!
      – I hate you!

    71. Alonso: Look at the curves on that beauty, oh la la.
      Hamiltion: Dude, don’t stare like that at my car, she’s shy.

    72. Lewis- So shall we drive for Ron next year?
      Fernando- have you seen how slow they are?

    73. I don’t have a clue what he said, but it was really really good to see Fernando genuinely smiling again both here and on a shot in a review gallery of Formula1.com. It is very telling that this had to be pointed out.

    74. LH; Hey i think i saw u before.. like in year 2007.. anyway im Lewis. Whats your name?
      FA; Oh ya? Really? :) Im Fernando. Nice to know u.

    75. LH; Nando, while i still around you should just forget about your WC dream this year.. lol..
      FA; Lol.. Really?? Did you forgot to wear your underwear?

    76. Apparently Seb cant cope with a loose rear, I’m not sure whether they are talking about the RB10 or just the chinese food?

    77. Is that Kimi in the crowds who’s giving me that “I will show you what I can do” look? This is weird, I am used only to Felipe’s.

    78. Gary Miereanu
      26th April 2014, 18:47

      So I guess we’re not catching a Clippers game anytime soon.

    79. “Lewis, I’m not too sure about this sloped floor they installed here on the podium.”

    80. Im going to lap you at Barcelona.

    81. I don’t hear the crowd booing us, do you?

    82. Ricardo Marquina
      26th April 2014, 19:19

      Where is Checo? is my partner on the podium

    83. Wait… If you finished third and I finished first, where’s the guy that finished second?

    84. LH: You smell that fernando that’s the smell of victory
      FA: No lewis that’s the smell of my fart

    85. LH: No more number 1 finger from Seb, isn’t that sweet?

    86. LH: Somebody waved the chequered flag a lap too early.
      FA: Yeh, he’s still down there waving it.

    87. LH: I told Nico it was Double points for Second this weekend…

    88. LH: Do you think I’m a better driver than Rosberg or Rosberg is a worse driver than me?
      FA: Yes

    89. “… and then, and then!, he said ‘tough luck’ and started crying…”

    90. As Hamilton gazes longingly at true love Alonso, it soon becomes clear Fernando has his eyes on someone elsewhere

    91. Lewis: “You know those gremlins you’ve been putting in Kimi’s car.”
      Fernando: “No…”
      Lewis: “You put one in my car Saturday morning, didn’t you?”
      Fernando “No…”
      Lewis: “Well I put it in Nico’s car.”
      Fernando: (Mutley snicker)

    92. Hamilton:” Whats that Manuel?”

      Alonso: por favour mEester Hami, I learn my Eenglish in a book”

    93. That Rosberg does not take being beaten very well….does he? Remember how you took it?

    94. “How did your set fitting at Mclaren go?”

      1. *seat

    95. …and she said she gonna do it again if I win. Come on man, don’t look her on the eye…

    96. “But then again, you, Nico, and Seb all know how tough it is to be routinely beaten by your teammate.”
      “I’m smiling but I’m going to slap you later for that.”

      1. Fernando: You should know better than me! Button scored 43 points more than you in 2011. You and I scored the same points in 2007!

    97. Ham: My mic’s naturally bigger than yours.

    98. So,…Luca says you are driving taxis now?….Can I get a ride later?

    99. Hamilton: “I love coming 1st!”
      Alonso: “That must be why Nicole left you.”

      1. A little birdie just told me that they’re back together, so my caption is redundant.

    100. Hamilton: “There’s no need to hold on to your watch so tightly, I’m not going to steal it. Imma good gangsta!”

    101. Todd (@braketurnaccelerate)
      26th April 2014, 22:52

      “Psst… This will be two since ’07. How are you doing?”

    102. Alonso: Just gonna tell you before Brundle does, there’s a huge sweat patch around your midriff

    103. Alonso: “Dasha is 24. How old is that Pussycat Doll?”

    104. Come closer, love your aftershave!

    105. Lewis: How do you like my new haircut?
      Alonso: Never, I mean never take off your hat man!

    106. Did you hear who the newest two time world champion is ?

    107. money (@carlos-danger)
      27th April 2014, 1:47

      LH: Do people also call you a “gansta” for wearing a flat brim hat.

    108. so, claire williams……. would you?

      1. good one
        Claire is hot

    109. Ham: Hey m8, u beating that jack iceman
      Alo: Yeeeh …

    110. Hey Nando! Would you like to have a go in my car?

    111. Timothy Schmalenberg
      27th April 2014, 9:57

      (Moments earlier)
      Lewis: hey Fernando.
      Fernando: hay my eyes are up here buddy, we don’t want the crowd to know…

    112. LH: Toto told me Honda has copied our engine and power train, so you go for Ron Denis.
      FA: really! Then i need your straight line speed to catch Ron now.

    113. LH: So what did the boss say??
      FA: You are still not the best cabbie around…..

    114. Hamilton: are you guys really that slow?

    115. LH: Does she have any friends?

    116. Lewie: Do you like my diamond earrings?

      Fernando: Yeah. They are shiny, makes you go faster, make you win more and probably it is easier
      to pick up chicks.

    117. Lewis to Alonso. “Hey, Did you see Sebastian at all today?”

    118. Jorge E. Ravelo
      28th April 2014, 1:32

      Nando, if you let me I’ll recommend you to Ron Dennis for the 2015 McLaren Honda.

    119. how come there are more ferrari flags out there in the grand stand?

    120. First to 3, wins

    121. LH: I understand now what its like having these wannabes as teammates.
      FA: Pests.

    122. Using chop sticks to clean-out your ears didn’t go over well with the Chinese. drmrs 4/28/2014

    123. Rupert Richardson
      28th April 2014, 17:54

      [Alonso to Hamilton]Ummm… Don’t you think that your engine would be even better with a Prancing Horse on it?? Then I could borrow it…

    124. Rupert Richardson
      28th April 2014, 17:55

      I’m not sure WHAT Alonso is trying to record with that microphone…

    125. Fa: Massa is angry at me again
      Lh: really

    126. LH: So she said if I won three in a row she’d consider a little something to spice things up. You interested?
      FA: Go ahead, I’m listening…

    127. Hey Alonso…remember when I told you to get down of the horse? Still on time to replace it for or star.Don’t you think?

    Comments are closed.