Caption Competition 50: Sebastian Vettel

Caption Competition

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Sebastian Vettel tried his hand at calligraphy during the Chinese Grand Prix weekend. How did he get on?

Submit your funniest suggestion for this week’s caption competition in the comments below.

As usual a selection of the best will appear in the next F1 Fanatic round-up.

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Image © Red Bull/Getty

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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113 comments on “Caption Competition 50: Sebastian Vettel”

  1. Colin Mitchell
    3rd May 2014, 11:49

    Now you’re sure, this is Chinese for “Tough Luck” ?

  2. Seb: “What does this symbol mean?”

    Man: “It is a message to Red Bull saying Tough Luck”

    1. Aqib (@aqibqadeer)
      3rd May 2014, 11:57

      good one its really hard to come up with something funny on this one for me specially after watching the video

      1. Lucas Wilson (@full-throttle-f1)
        3rd May 2014, 12:21

        I think we have our winner!

        1. after just one comment?

  3. “You know, there was this smiling Aussie bloke here just a bit ago whose result was a bit better…”

  4. Continuing with his obsession over learning to swear in different languages, Vettel takes a class in Chinese.

  5. SennaNmbr1 (@)
    3rd May 2014, 12:01

    “1000 lines for being a bad boy.”

    1. “I will not disobey team orders.”
      “I will not disobey team orders.”
      “I will not disobey team orders.”

  6. Chinese man: “you really hate this Daniel Ricciardo guy, don’t you?”

  7. “ONE LAP TO GO”
    Seb: I hope this works! Muhaha

  8. ‘Bernie is Innocent’ ;)

  9. Sebastian Vettel writes “Tough Luck” in Mandarin Chinese

  10. Seb’s multiple attempts at drawing the Shanghai International Circuit!

    1. Nuts I was going to say that. Well have try another one.

  11. Not satisfied with having lost to Ricciardo in Bahrain, Vettel aims to beat him in a Chinese primary school spelling bee.

  12. How do I say Multi 1 2 in Chinese?

  13. As my car is too slow, we need track in one of these shapes ….. When can you deliver ??? I need them kind of .. umm ..immediately …

  14. Man: No wonder you’re so slow at straight lines….

  15. Vettel writes his wish list: 1) Mercedes engine 2) Slower teammate 3) A win

  16. Vettel: “So what’s this actually say?”
    Man: “Let Ricciardo through please.”

  17. David (@ringridder)
    3rd May 2014, 12:33

    It’s still easier to understand than the RB10..!

  18. You clearly haven’t learnt from Germany 2012 Seb, you can’t go over the lines!

  19. Man “What are you writing here Seb?”
    Vettel “A contract. You’re my new team mate now. Daniel is too fast, but I think I can handle an old Chinese man.”

    1. This made me lol.

  20. iAltair (@)
    3rd May 2014, 12:37

    That’s his name pronounced in Chinese.

  21. The man looks disapprovingly at Sebastian’s third drawing after Sebastian tells him proudly that he’s actually drawing Alonso’s eyebrows along with the nose of the Force India and an old land-line telephone.

    1. I enjoyed this one.

    2. Brilliant.

  22. AMR (@aiera-music)
    3rd May 2014, 12:43

    “I think this one will look the best on the next of my four thousand helmet designs this year!”

  23. Vettel is getting an early start brushing up on some of Tilke’s new track designs.

  24. “And after the characters, Sebastian, I am going to teach you about the importance of numbers in order, especially of 3 and 1.”

  25. After seeing Daniel’s attempts on the wall behind him, Sebastian tries desperately to finally beat his new team-mate at something.

  26. Plans for Sebastian Vettel’s 1000th helmet design seem to be progressing well.

  27. Vettel explaining the role of Dr Helmut Marko ….

    1. Good one!

  28. Sebastian: “Looks like a Red Bull on Pole.” Calligrapher: “Yeah right!”

  29. “Ok, so that’s ‘go f$#% yourself’, how do I write ‘Ricciardo’?”

  30. This is the contract for a Honda engine and not some cheap knock-off?

  31. Daniel Ric… Are you sure this is how to write his name? It took me a year to learn how to pronounce it.

    1. Lotus-GrosjeAn
      3rd May 2014, 14:42

      That is actually his name in Chinese ;)

  32. Man: “Be patient, my son, your title defence starts from these exercises.”

  33. Catered Ham
    3rd May 2014, 14:03

    This is what Mark’s wing looked like when i took it from him. Can you make me one like it so i can beat that other Australian?

  34. Mr. Miyagi: “Make block. Left, right. Up, down. Side, side. Breathe in, breathe out.”
    Seb: “Will this make my car go faster?”
    Mr. Miyagi: “No.”

  35. Seb insist that there is a secret ingredient for Daniel performance.

  36. “First I t-bone Daniel this way, then….

  37. “Is this Honda?”

  38. Jack (@jackisthestig)
    3rd May 2014, 14:47

    “Have you got a better pen? I struggle without the best equipment.”

    1. Lucas Wilson (@full-throttle-f1)
      3rd May 2014, 14:53


      1. Nice. My favourite so far!

    2. That was quite good @jackisthestig ;)

    3. awesome…

    4. Fumbles (@)
      3rd May 2014, 21:38

      Winner, surely!

    5. AMR (@aiera-music)
      3rd May 2014, 23:39

      This one, please :D

    6. The only one to make me genuinely laugh out loud while scrolling down! And it’s unique, a lot of the others are very similar, but I haven’t read anything along these lines yet.

  39. Red Bull’s marketing department moves Vettel to a new team.

  40. Kill all Ozzies? That we did not learn!

  41. Vettel: “Do you think that you can deliver this new nose by Saturday morning?”

  42. Mister, you wrong, that is “Pink Cow”, not “Red Bull”…

  43. “Do you really think this handwritten letter will get us Honda engines for next year?”

  44. Seb is so unpopular in China he has to write his own banners to hang from the grandstands.

    1. Corrado (@)
      3rd May 2014, 17:33

      LOL !

  45. How do I write ‘get him out of the way, he’s too slow’?

  46. Seb was spotted in China competing in their version of the Caption Competition.

  47. Chinese guy “you are telling me that is what the front of your car looks like, who had that bright idea?”

  48. Chinese man: Daniel did this so much faster than you.

  49. Vettel demanding that his Chinese fans make him win the remaining 15 races – and that if they say no, then “tough luck” as that was part of the Chinese GP deal!

  50. Vettel decided to sign a letter of intent with Honda, in case Renault doesn’t sort out its engine in due time.

  51. Chinese man: So Sebastian, what do you think of the new engines?
    Chinese man: ….. oh, i see….

  52. Neil (@neilosjames)
    3rd May 2014, 16:41

    “If you shape the diffuser like this, and put the exhaust exits here and here…”

  53. Vettel goes back to kindergarten after another childish performance at the Chinese Grand Prix.

  54. David (@ringridder)
    3rd May 2014, 17:27

    “Of course he’s faster, he grew up with this kind of characters!”

  55. “So it’s back to the drawing board again?”

    1. Haha, so simple, so good. :)

  56. “I’m not sure Adrian Newey will go along with that one. It doesn’t look very aerodynamic…”

  57. Vettel tries his hand at Hermann Tilke track design

  58. After couple of dead rabbits and goats the car still did not go very fast so it was time for some chinese black magic next.

  59. “These magical witchcraft symbols will make your car faster than your teammates.’

  60. “If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.”

    “You should have a word with an Aussie I know.”

  61. I guess it will take until I’ve learned Chinese completely before Andrew fixed that ricecooker of a car

  62. valdek12 (@)
    3rd May 2014, 20:08

    Seb: “Perfect!”
    Man: “You just wrote that Ricciardo is faster than you.”

  63. “Our system of writing is also art… Your brush strokes are fast on the curves but much too slow on the straights. May I suggest using this brush instead?”
    “But it’s got a Mercedes logo on it!”

  64. “Sebastian tries to one up Fernando by writing his samurai quotes in authentic language”

  65. Vettel: “So what do these characters mean?”
    Man: “Multi 21 Seb”

  66. Seb to Master: “It’s a calligraphic message to my teammate.”

    Master to Seb: “[reading, softly…]Hmm…’Daniel, SEBASTIAN is faster than you‘? Who’s ‘Daniel‘?”

    Seb to Master: “Exactly…”

    note to @keithcollantine:

    inspiration =


    In this short film Sebastian Vettel wanders around the old streets of Beijing. He wanders into the home of one of the best calligraphy masters from China who teaches Sebastian the art of writing his own name in Chinese. The film aims to draw parallels between the Formula One World Champion’s strong virtues of persistence, dedication and pursuit of his art, much like the art of Chinese calligraphy…

  67. Translation: I miss you Webber. Please come back.

  68. We are fuked.

  69. If only it had more downforce I might be better at this.

  70. “Hurry up, Seb! Ricciardo’s already done 4…”

  71. Headline: many see New FIA mandated pit boards as another ill considered move to entice the Asian market.

  72. Man: Hope you get a chance to actually show the “vettel finger” this year and not just do its painting.

  73. Desperate to win, Vettel signs a contract with Red Bull Emgrand for the remainder of 2014.

  74. Reigning F1 world champion Sebastian Vettel refines his understanding of the new 2014 technical regulations.

  75. SV : “Looks like RB Management forgot who is the world champion. Anyways they are not understanding in English, Let me try in Chinese. Hey Kungfu Master, sorry Paint Master : I think these are small letters, those RB guys don’t mind it. I want Chinese Capital Letters. TOUGH LUCK, I AM THE WORLD CHAMPION”

  76. I don’t understand Sebastian, you’re teammate is beating you!
    ‘Oh it’s just a sign of the times.’

  77. Man: Ancient art of calligraphy requires time and patience
    Vetted: You should try working with Renault

    1. @murryporker, lol, good one!

  78. Not smooth enough to decrease tyre wear, Seb!

  79. Seb:
    “Over one billion people? You have something similar to twitter, don’t you? Let’s make this hashtag work #bringbackmarkwebber”

  80. ficklesteak
    4th May 2014, 14:31

    Dear Mark,

    I miss you. Please come back. I’ll let you win this time.


  81. So this will say Seb IV.
    Yes Mr Seb.
    Ok this is good.
    Stop Stop Mr Seb. If you cross that line it will say multi 21.

  82. “Sebastian, dont write too big, you wont have enough room on the paper”
    “haha, i didnt have enough room to overtake webber in malaysia, i did that.”

  83. Seb: “I give up, just gimmie a fortune cookie”

  84. Very important to cross your Tees(-shirts) and dot your EYES (as one picture is worth a thousand words). drmrs 5/4/2014 Rockville, MD

  85. There is nothing i cant do “from dictating my team what to do- to – learning chinese” Xie xie!!!

  86. Sebastian plays catch up to Daniel’s four finished pieces of work that are already on the wall ;)

  87. CHINESE DUDE: You no good. Aussie fast than you. Much fast.

  88. Adrian Cheng (@raikkonenf12008)
    6th May 2014, 11:19

    Tough luck for messing up the calligraphy. You can’t brush off this one.

  89. Rupert Richardson
    6th May 2014, 18:48

    How do you write: “I want a Mercedes engine” in Chinese?

  90. Laura Eunson
    14th May 2014, 15:22

    seb as he is painting the calligraphy…” I…AM…number…one!!!!!”

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