Caption Competition 61: Vettel and Ecclestone

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Bernie Ecclesstone makes a point to Sebastian Vettel during last week’s Russian Grand Prix weekend.

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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153 comments on “Caption Competition 61: Vettel and Ecclestone”

  1. “Seb, thank goodness Lewis doesn’t do *this* when he wins.”

    1. Seb, I have inside information that your car is ONE Hundred Kilos heavier than Daniels…

  2. Ecclestone: “Go to the team, which pays you the most.”

  3. V: Hey hey Mr. E, can I tell where I’m driving next year?
    E: Wait you must, young Sebastian.

    1. Seb: “Mr. E, can I tell you which team I’m driving for next year?”

      Bern: “No, I’ll tell YOU which team you’re driving for next year!”

  4. Mr. E showing Vettel his best impression of Johnny English

  5. Ecclestone: “Remember Sebastian, when it comes to F1, I’m number 1”

    1. Lol :)

    2. This is what I was going to post.

      1. I was thinking something similar also.

        1. BE: Don’t forget who’s the real number 1, Seb.

  6. “Bernie, you owe me. I moved to Ferrari so you could engineer bumping Kvyat up to Red Bull to make Putin happy. Where’s my reward?”

    “Don’t worry Seb, I have pull at Ferrari; I can sort something out. Do the words “Kimi, Sebastian is faster than you” mean anything to you?”

  7. Watch and learn Sebastian, this is how you give the finger!

  8. BE: Come with me son, I’ll lead you to that Ferrari seat you always wanted.

  9. “Sebastian, is that guy behind us watching my ass?”

  10. BE: Please bring me 1 redbull. Oh, wait…

  11. Sebastian, I’ve already told you, Vladimir is the only guy whose ass I’ll ever kiss.

      1. very nice indeed :D

  12. “No Mr E, I’m the one who does the finger”

  13. “Seb, you don’t seem to be using your finger much recently”

    1. plus 1 (finger)!

    2. Winner! :)

  14. E: You go when I say you go.

    1. “Follow my lead, son, and you’ll do well…”

      1. “Don’t worry, I’ve got something up my sleeve to make Ferrari competitive again…”

  15. Hold on, the pacemaker on my lanyard is causing problems.

  16. “Vettle………….Pull my finger”

    Sorry…..It had to be done….

  17. You only need to worry about one thing: grab as much money as you can.

    1. ColdFly F1 (@)
      18th October 2014, 16:40

      good one.

  18. Now that you got the Ferrari ride, I expect a check in the morning.

  19. Silence! He happens to be my NBF. Do you want to be the one rooster at Ferrari or not?

  20. Lay off my wife, I’m telling you!

  21. Listen to me, son. The one thing that counts in life is money.

    1. Like this one

  22. Of course I don’t think you suddenly lost your speed! How many fingers am I holding up?

  23. Hands off my daughters, I’m telling you for the last time! Your not the bull in my family!

  24. Vettle is impressed by the quality of the 10x life size (10:1) statue of Bernie which is due to be installed at the FIA headquaters next year.

  25. Seb: hey Bernie do that funny impression you do of me just one more time…Pleease

    Bernie: (un-enthusiastically) yes yes yes blah blah blah

  26. “You know, Sebastian, you could rule Poland and France if you weren’t so busy.”

    1. @eriko AHAHAHAHA!! Classic! This is brilliant :D

    2. Well done!

    3. @eriko – Obscure… I had to look it up and watch the video. I still have no idea why it’s funny though.
      Best version (of many) on Youtube: “Sandstorm by Darude Meets Metal”. It was a difficult choice, after all there is also “Darude – Sandstorm [accordion cover]”…

      1. (Red face). Okay, this isn’t a reply to the post I thought I’d clicked on… down a bit from here.

  27. Bernie: “Sorry Seb, the finger is going to the other side of the garage”

  28. “No, Sebastian, no. I am not going to persuade the FIA to bring back blown diffusers!”

  29. – Uncle, uncle! Where’s my present? Where’s my winning flying car?
    – Here! Look up! In the sky! (sigh… what a naive…)

  30. Bernie: Darude, Sandstorm.

    1. Winner.

    2. Not bad :P

    3. @mjf1 – Obscure… I had to look it up and watch the video. I still have no idea why it’s funny though.
      Best version (of many) on Youtube: “Sandstorm by Darude Meets Metal”. It was a difficult choice, after all there is also “Darude – Sandstorm [accordion cover]“…

  31. Mr. Ecclestone, I kindly remind you that Vettel-Finger™ is copyright protected…

    1. Haha not bad!

  32. Hear that? The russian national anthem. Better learn it, because one day …

  33. No, I am your father

    1. Now we just need James Earl Jones to do the voice-over.

  34. Bernie “Now now young Seb don’t mock him. Nando will be so peeved when I tell him I’ve got you a seat at Merc for next year”

  35. Darth Vader: There is no escape. Don’t make me destroy you. Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.
    Luke Skywalker: I’ll never join you!
    Vader: If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
    Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
    Vader: No. I am your father.
    Luke: No…no. That’s not true. That’s impossible!
    Vader: Search your feelings, you know it to be true!
    Luke: Noooo! Nooooo!

  36. ColdFly F1 (@)
    18th October 2014, 16:49

    No Seb, I’m not gonna add you to the list of people I admire!

  37. Alex McFarlane
    18th October 2014, 17:12

    “Hey Mr. Ecclestone, do you think I too could run the USA when I’m finished here?”

    “Now don’t push your luck son, politics and F1 shouldn’t mix.”

  38. Putin is the boss around here, get it ?!

  39. Eccelstone:I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you

  40. Bernie illustrating to a amused Sebastian that his last court settlement was higher than his Ferrari contract

  41. Latest song from F1 Mafia –
    “Don’t you worry, don’t you worry Seb,
    See I’ve got a plan for you.”

  42. Helmut Marko wants to send a friend request to you but can’t since you haven’t got Twitter so he wants to talk to you directly instead, Seb.

  43. See Sebastian, we both give fans the finger.

  44. No Seb, the deal with Putin was not just banter.

  45. BE: Okay, so Christian & Marko never found out that I paid you to go to Ferrari right?

  46. Am I doing the finger right?

  47. I tell you what Seb, that Putin guy should rule the world !

  48. BE: If there are 3 car teams next year, what are the chances of me finding a Number 1 seat?

  49. BE: If there are 3 car teams next year, what are the chances of me finding a Number 1 seat?
    SV: Buying a Number 1 seat? 100%. Finding a seat? Heck no.

  50. Seb whos your Daddy now?

  51. Oh Seb! When are we going to see that finger of yours again

  52. Bernie’s paddock pass went to extreme lengths to avoid being forced to shake Vladimir Putin’s hand.

    Bernie: Just bend over!!!

  54. Bernie Says: “Think before you drive!”

  55. Remember, no jokes about Mr. Putin at the autosport awards.

  56. Let’s try again…

    VET: “How many world titles is Lewis going to win?”
    Bernie: *raises finger*

  57. You wont be shaking Mr Putin’s hand on the podium today!

  58. ‘Sebastian, you must take a Ferrari to the Degoba system and learn the ways of the horse’

  59. This is how you pick your nose

  60. ” Pull my finger.. “

  61. One win with Ferrari is like winning a championship now!

  62. Seb: “C’mon Mr. E – former German Champion moving to a troubled Ferrari team and driving them to be World Champions again is the perfect storyline for F1 right now!”

    Bernie: “No, no – that chapter’s already been done Seb. I’ve told you before, ‘Return of the McHondas’ comes next.”

  63. “And then I said he could control Europe or America”

  64. Vettel: “Mr. Bernie, I’ve just signed a millionaire contract with Ferrari!”
    Bernie: “Wait a second while I win another billion.”

  65. No Sebastian, the President won’t appreciate listening to your impression of Stalin, it’s still too soon for him.

  66. BE: Seb, what’s up?
    SV: The Roof…

  67. “The secret, Seb, is to put your sticky finger in every pie.”

  68. “Keep your mouth shut! That tree is watching us.”

  69. It’s this size.

  70. Forget learning Italian. Soon we’ll all be speaking Russian!

  71. “If you think your Renault engine stinks, just pull this see”

    1. “If you think your Renault engine stinks, just pull this and see”

  72. “Now just hold on there a second young man. I didn’t say anything about you getting quadruple points in Abu Dhabi. It’s double or nothing.”

  73. Bernie: “I did meet him, and he gave me one cookie.”

  74. You’ll get one more title when I say so.

  75. No arguing, you are driving for Ferrari next year. You better not go crying to Christian…

  76. “Stop… hammer time!”

  77. “I…am the Emperor, YOU are Anakin…”

  78. “F1’s Puppet Master Strikes Again…”

  79. Let me introduce you to my friend Mr Putin, he can make you champion again, even without Newey

  80. You think you’ll be doing much of that at Ferrari, Seb?

  81. Ferrari or no Ferrari, you will NEVER be as rich as me…

  82. No, Seb. Even if you go first, I’m still not joining Twitter. I get all my thoughts out to my fans via the Daily Mail.

  83. “I told you before Sebastian, I don’t like your silly jokes!”

  84. “Sebastian looked on in disbelief as Bernie explained how much the rights to use his winning finger salute had increased for 2015.”

  85. BE: “You are going to drive for Ferrari”

    SV: “[laughing lightly ] No I’m not”

  86. “Palm out Son. It’s the same as behind every bird there’s a pile thing”

  87. Bernie says: “think before you bribe”

  88. Seb, first get a seat at Ferrari, THEN you go can go ask my daughter out on a date.

  89. Seb: hey, you promised me 5 titles
    Bernie: its ok you are not out yet
    Seb: I’m 148 points behind
    Bernie: you are forgetting Abu Dabble, the race where I choose what points are awarded, this year it will be an octa-race 200 points for the winner!

  90. I promised you 1, you got 4, now off you go to Ferrari to do your time.

  91. BE phone home

  92. “Seb, I gave this sport the finger before it was cool.”

  93. Pull my finger…
    … fart sound.

  94. Bernie: “You may have been number 1 for 4 years, but I’ve been the real number 1 for nearly 40 years.”

  95. Seb: Hey Bernie, did you hear I’m leaving Red…
    Bernie: Don’t talk to me yet! I need to fix my hair for the cameras.

  96. Seb: “I don’t really want to pull your finger Bernie..”
    BE: “Do you want that Ferrari seat?”
    Seb: “Uh… Not really…”

  97. “No I haven’t got a crash helmet on you cheeky German upstart. My hair always looks like this”

  98. “One dollar, that’s how much I sold my soul for.”

  99. How much you offering me then Bernie? Only ONE million? Not enough !!

    1. (or) “You get ONE more chance Seb, if you don’t win at Ferrari, I won’t be able to bribe anyone else !!”

  100. BE: “What’s my finger smell of?”
    SV: “Dunno, but It’s familiar.”
    BE: “it’s “eau de toilet” sans paper.”
    SV: “Ah! That explains Horner’s breath after his private meetings with you”.

  101. The fickle finger of fate……

  102. BE: Seb, you had better do well next year as I have blown all that money for you to join Ferrari. They’re not cheap, you know.

  103. ColdFly F1 (@)
    19th October 2014, 16:31

    BE: FOM registered the finger gesture. Next time you use it you have to pay me!

  104. Be nice to Vladimir or he’ll cut off your gas…

  105. Rolan de Guzman
    19th October 2014, 16:39

    This is the original finger! You copybull! Oh, copyhorse! Just dont go to caterham. ;)

  106. ‘And you can’t tell Ferrari how bad their cars are.’

  107. You go to Ferrari son, and I’ll engineer another championship for you.

  108. “Not bad for a Number 2 briber!”

  109. “I told you before Sebastian, you’ll get 1 scoop of ice cream and like it!”

  110. Seb: “Fernando said he’s leaving for the WEC?”
    Bernie: “You didn’t hear it from me.”

  111. BE: “How does it feel that Ricciardo is the number 1 driver at Red Bull at the moment Seb???”

  112. Matthew Cheshire
    20th October 2014, 2:55

    Not the middle finger? I thought you were the one doing it wrong all this time.

  113. Bernie: Allah u akbar!

  114. Bernie: “…and this, my son, is how stupid you look when you win.”

  115. BE ” One thing’s for sure , you’ll look faster along side Kimi next year”

  116. i See you’ve stopped the number 1’s in the car Seb…

    Thank god your not finishing second!!!

  117. Bernie :Seems like you no longer use this finger much these days .

  118. Hey Bernie, it’s ok, you don’t need the mask until the 31st.

  119. “It doesn’t matter what Marco Mattiacci says, those dancing horse people have a ton of money.”

  120. First there is this Adolf Fiddler guy, then Saddam Insane and third comes my dear friend the world conquer Vlad Pukin and then myself. That my son is leadership!

  121. BE: Seb, Alonso is the number 1 driver in F1…

  122. Bernie: Ok seb I will teach you how to become the master of bribing people and how to get away with. With this finger I did many things with it and it will show you the way of the master briberer.

  123. “The Dark Side of the force is a path to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.”

  124. Now Sebastian, one day you will be as rich and as ugly as me, so enjoy your youth.

  125. “Sit on it and Swivel”

  126. “Seb, Punch that man and I will disqualify Ricciardo’s car”

Comments are closed.