Sebastian Vettel, Red Bull, Shanghai, 2014

Caption Competition 68: Sebastian Vettel

Caption Competition

17th January 2015, 11:5017th January 2015, 12:24 | Written by Keith Collantine

He’s a Ferrari man now – but last year Sebastian Vettel was doing PR duty for Red Bull.

Here he is during last year’s Chinese Grand Prix weekend describing a lap of the Shanghai International Circuit.

Can you think of a funny caption to go with this picture?

Post your suggestion in the comments and a selection of the best will appear in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic round-up.

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Keith Collantine

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157 comments on “Caption Competition 68: Sebastian Vettel”

Craig Woollard (@craig-o)
17th January 2015, 12:28

“Hmm… This bit was almost flat in my Red Bull. I’m not so convinced about trying it out at that speed in the Ferrari.”
alexf1man (@alexf1man)
17th January 2015, 12:28

This is where we lap the Ferraris by going round the outside
1. Sensord4notbeingafanboi (@peartree)
  17th January 2015, 17:35
  
  @alexf1man Actually Fernando was fantastic at Shanghai.
  1. alexf1man (@alexf1man)
    20th January 2015, 11:33
    
    @peartree He was, but in general Ferrari were a long way off the pace last year
maxx silver
17th January 2015, 12:28

“This is the corner where Ricciardo overtook me…”
1. Aqib (@aqibqadeer)
  17th January 2015, 16:13
  
  lolz!! this is a winner for me
2. f199player (@f199player)
  17th January 2015, 18:34
  
  “This is the corner where I told them tough luck”
3. Iestyn Davies (@fastiesty)
  17th January 2015, 19:16
  
  Haha yes. “This is where I knew Ricciardo was better than me…” or “This is where I knew I was beaten..”
4. Deej92 (@deej92)
  17th January 2015, 20:11
  
  This incident was the first thing I thought when I saw the picture!
5. Osvaldas31 (@osvaldas31)
  18th January 2015, 10:20
  
  “This is the place, where I’ll never let anyone pass me.”
6. Matthew (@mattiej)
  20th January 2015, 2:24
  
  +1
Graham (@guitargraham)
17th January 2015, 12:28

just here is where i was actually faster than daniel
Oscar
17th January 2015, 12:29

“and here is where Tilke reaaally screwed up!”
1. MONEYR (@moneyr)
  17th January 2015, 13:51
  
  Haha. I like this one.
@CausticCorner
17th January 2015, 12:31

“Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel addressing an audience, just before Ferrari’s men in white coats came to take him away.”
gdewilde (@gdewilde)
17th January 2015, 12:32

“Obviously, Hermann Tilke sneezed when he drew the first few corners”
1. Patrick (@paeschli)
  17th January 2015, 22:26
  
  Nice :)
Andy (@turbof1)
17th January 2015, 12:34

“…And at this corner is where I multi21’d Webber.”
1. HK (@me4me)
  17th January 2015, 12:38
  
  @turbof1, that was Malaysia ;)
  1. Andy (@turbof1)
    17th January 2015, 12:40
    
    Ah crap yes :P.
    1. Iestyn Davies (@fastiesty)
      17th January 2015, 19:17
      
      @turbof1 @me4me “This is where Tilke recycled T1 from Malaysia..”
      1. Dim sim (@dimsim)
        18th January 2015, 0:02
        
        This is where I used to get Marko to deactivate Webber’s KERS.
michaeldobson13 (@michaeldobson13)
17th January 2015, 12:38

If you look carefully this track looks a bit like a dinosaur. See, there’s its eye
Master firelee (@master-firelee)
17th January 2015, 12:41

Upon analysing the circuit Vettel can’t help but wonder if the track was based off a side view of a Kangaroo, he was quoted as saying “as you can see this is the head”.
Scott t
17th January 2015, 12:42

“Every time I drive around this corner I earn more than everyone else in the room earns in a year combined…”
1. goontar
  18th January 2015, 10:14
  
  loll yeah
caci99
17th January 2015, 12:43

And I am afraid this the last time I like this curves.
PhilEReid (@philereid)
17th January 2015, 12:44

Sebastian Vettel tries to recreate the shape of the Shanghai Circuit with his hand.
Jack Welsher
17th January 2015, 12:44

This is where Christian first called me Sebby a few years ago. I’m hoping the Tifosi will call me Michael instead.
Wessel (@wessel-v1)
17th January 2015, 12:45

Here we have about the only corner where Webber didn’t have problems in 2013.
HK (@me4me)
17th January 2015, 12:46

Inspired by Dundee, Vettel works his finger voodoo on the kangaroo in front of him. Sadly he was never able to fully master it.
BoRa (@bnwllc3)
17th January 2015, 12:47

That corner is where Danny made my Ferrari move on me.
Sri Harsha (@harsha)
17th January 2015, 12:55

After Daniel passing me This is where i said “Tough Luck” to my self
Fer no.65 (@fer-no65)
17th January 2015, 12:56

“and this bit here looks like a thumb, so you don’t use that, you use the index”
hunocsi (@hunocsi)
17th January 2015, 13:04

“…and this is where my career has taken a big turn.”
1. Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
  17th January 2015, 16:27
  
  nice
2. park
  17th January 2015, 19:38
  
  brilliant
matiascasali (@matiascasali)
17th January 2015, 13:09

and this is the corner where Tilke completely loose his mind…
Mashiat (@mashiat)
17th January 2015, 13:09

After getting distracted, Sebastian discusses the different Tree types visible on the outside of Turn 2.
Mashiat (@mashiat)
17th January 2015, 13:10

AANNDDD across the line! Oh wait…
Liam Radford (@lradford22)
17th January 2015, 13:15

Anyone notice the track layout looks like a dog? Theres its tail.
Mashiat (@mashiat)
17th January 2015, 13:15

…and this is a very long right hander. It just goes on…and on…and on… Just like my PR duties
Mashiat (@mashiat)
17th January 2015, 13:16

…and then I told Mark Webber that this was the quickest line through Turns 1 & 2
AmbroseRPM (@ambroserpm)
17th January 2015, 13:16

“And here is where I’ll pick up my Red…Fer…Bull RB…666 and here is the next team principal of the Scuderia.
Robert (@gicu)
17th January 2015, 13:16

Seb, always ambitious, pointing cockily towards the 310-7 dial, his answer to a public question regarding the number of points and wins he’ll be able to achieve in 2014. “If we don’t hit that target, well, tough luck then, I’ll be leaving for Ferrari.”
Alex Brown (@splittimes)
17th January 2015, 13:19

Well, if you don’t want to hear be beatbox, I’ll just explain the track.
DUPOUY (@oneightwozeroes)
17th January 2015, 13:21

“I sNailed this corner!”
Alex Brown (@splittimes)
17th January 2015, 13:25

I’m taking this year to exercise my other fingers.
davros
17th January 2015, 13:52

Since I’m going to a classic team like Ferrari and I’m going to be earning a lot more I’ve decided to use this finger so I seem more refined.
tgu (@thegrapeunwashed)
17th January 2015, 13:55

As usual, Seb warmed up for the Chinese GP by tracing his finger around the circuit, doing all the screaming engine and screeching brake noises himself, unaware of the bemused crowd that had gathered to watch.
1. alexanderf1
  17th January 2015, 15:49
  
  brilliant :)
andae23 (@andae23)
17th January 2015, 13:55

“And here is where I expect my Ferrari to break down.”
andae23 (@andae23)
17th January 2015, 14:03

“It says we’ll be doing 175 kph in fourth gear, but since I’m switching teams, it’s best not to get our hopes up.”
hzh (@hzh00)
17th January 2015, 14:05

And here is the point where I allowed Daniel to pass me
John H (@john-h)
17th January 2015, 14:06

“… and here we see the macaroons that compliment our cookie”
Theo Parkinson (@theo-hrp)
17th January 2015, 14:11

“Now the dot I’m pointing to is Daniel. I’m the one about half a mile back.”
Ed
17th January 2015, 14:15

Here’s where i used to brake on my old car, which, by coincidence, is the same place where i start accelerating again. Good times when F1 was challenging!
Tom N (@nipz)
17th January 2015, 14:17

“… and this curly bit is the other ear. See, it’s a bunny rabbit!”
hzh (@hzh00)
17th January 2015, 14:21

The little girl wondering:
“Where is Vettel’s famous ‘number 1’ finger? Why is it missing.”
Nick (@npf1)
17th January 2015, 14:26

“This is the part where I’m already bored with this track.”
1. spoutnik (@spoutnik)
  17th January 2015, 15:30
  
  Good one :-)
nannini
17th January 2015, 14:34

… and this right here is my pinky.
Pauline Lowrey
17th January 2015, 14:35

Capturing the moment when one of the women in the group realises the ice creams have arrived.
Don Brown
17th January 2015, 14:45

And right here is where I complained about the tyres …
1. spoutnik (@spoutnik)
  17th January 2015, 15:29
  
  :-)
schooner (@schooner)
17th January 2015, 14:48

“Huh? Oh yeah … the rest rooms are right over here”.
falconspatrol (@falconspatrol)
17th January 2015, 14:49

”And now we see this curve which is designed on Ferrari’s progress”
Daniel (@)
17th January 2015, 14:57

Vettel gives instructions on human anatomy.
frogster
17th January 2015, 15:02

” and this is where I decided I must go to a team where I’m considered a great without having to prove it”
WheelToWheel (@lolzerbob)
17th January 2015, 15:19

“This is the corner why Formula One is better than Formula E do, don’t ask me why.”
spoutnik (@spoutnik)
17th January 2015, 15:28

… and at that point, Daniel will probably have a 20 seconds advantage over me. Because of … Well, I don’t know.
1. spoutnik (@spoutnik)
  17th January 2015, 15:33
  
  … and at that point, Daniel will probably have a 20 seconds advantage over me. Because of .. things …
LuvinF1 (@luvinf1)
17th January 2015, 15:39

It was at this point while walking the circuit, that I was “shanghai’d” by three hooded guys that handed me a Ferrari contract.
Fritz Oosthuizen (@)
17th January 2015, 15:43

And is where the tifosi will wave at me next year. But don’t tell Christian yet…..
Fritz Oosthuizen (@)
17th January 2015, 15:44

and the people at this corner in red will not boo me next year.
MahavirShah (@mahavirshah)
17th January 2015, 15:48

Sebastian has to resort to using his pinky as a result of another baffling rule change involving winners and index fingers.
just.daz (@nemo87)
17th January 2015, 15:56

..and this is where my nan lives
Brian Frank (@brianfrank302)
17th January 2015, 16:07

That was Tilke’s state of mind when he designed the circuit.
Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
17th January 2015, 16:09

“…hard on the brakes and straight down to second as you try and keep the momentum through Squiggles…”
David Pate
17th January 2015, 16:11

This is a really good play area to take your children. I like to go there and ride the swings.
Craig Wilde
17th January 2015, 16:16

If you look closely, these corners along with turn four, form bunny ears.
Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
17th January 2015, 16:22

“and here you have the longest right hand in f1… its 9 and a quarter inches… I wear a size xxl glove…”
OEL F1 (@oel-f1)
17th January 2015, 16:26

“I don’t mind going to Ferrari, I’m used to driving cars that suck“
mantresx (@mantresx)
17th January 2015, 16:29

Shortly after deciding he would leave Red Bull Sebastian decides to try different jobs among them weatherman and TV presenter, he eventually settled for a Ferrari drive.
beneboy (@beneboy)
17th January 2015, 16:34

Right about here is where we buried the bodies of the RBR young driver program rejects.
Bob (@bobthefrog)
17th January 2015, 16:40

After yet another fruitless race, Sebastien heads for the debrief and wonders how he managed to fend off the caterham for that long.
Thomas (@austin2014)
17th January 2015, 16:59

“Unlike previous seasons we will have to apply the breaks to get round this corner”
cjpdk (@cjpdk)
17th January 2015, 17:06

“Between F1 seasons, Sebastian Vettel teaches ‘Track Design 101’.”
Strontium (@strontium)
17th January 2015, 17:12

“Here is one of the places we expect the Ferrari engine to be down on power”
JackySteeg
17th January 2015, 17:14

“This is a very tough corner. It’s a great chance to flex your wings…er, I mean muscles!”
Mashiat2 (@mashiat2)
17th January 2015, 17:30

Vettel decides that a new ‘finger’ is the way to go.
Atticus (@atticus-2)
17th January 2015, 17:50

“This is a track where, generally, it’s very easy to pass opponents. For example, there’s no way the Caterham, say Kobayashi, would hold me up anywhere…”
ForzaAlanRabbit (@jojobudgie)
17th January 2015, 18:03

And this is where Daniel is slower…
Goriot
17th January 2015, 18:09

And there, my Red Bull switched off, all by itself, once again…
Apexor
17th January 2015, 18:24

This where Kimi will let me pass for the victory just like what happened in Germany between Fernado and Felippe infamous overtake.
Daniel (@)
17th January 2015, 19:01

“Here is where Tilke sneezed when drawing the track”
AntzNZ
17th January 2015, 19:11

“Do you kids like drawing squiggles? I know someone who used to as well..”
cdavman (@cdavman)
17th January 2015, 19:22

Thinking he was looking at a graph of his total F1 career performance, that clearly showed his initial sharp rise at Red Bull, Vettel pointed to the moment he decided to switch to Ferrari…
frogster
17th January 2015, 19:58

” and this is the point where I realised my index finger will no longer be required”
Erzen (@)
17th January 2015, 20:10

“And this kids, is where i let Ricciardo through”
hzh (@hzh00)
17th January 2015, 20:16

Vettel has arranged a special rescue group after when Ricciardo vanished in front of him after passing him during the GP.
Steven Smith (@ragwort)
17th January 2015, 20:21

“and just here is where the Mercedes cars lapped me for the first time”
Eduardo
17th January 2015, 20:23

“And here I said the infamous ‘tough luck’ stuff!”
Guelph (@guelph)
17th January 2015, 20:43

And then I got hit by the blue shell in this corner…
AMR (@aiera-music)
17th January 2015, 20:53

Having not won a single race in 2014, Vettel was forced to use a different finger.
Fritz Oosthuizen (@)
17th January 2015, 21:13

this is where I passed Webber and afterwards said I was sorry.
hzh (@hzh00)
17th January 2015, 21:25

…and here is were you wull be sitting and cheering for me during the race…
hzh (@hzh00)
17th January 2015, 21:27

…and here is the head of the cat.

(The track layout looks like a cat)
Eoin (@eoin16)
17th January 2015, 22:21

Seb: “This is about how far I expect to go on my first lap out of the pits before my engine decides that’s enough work for one day.”
Stjs16
17th January 2015, 22:23

And this is the I’d cream parlour where I’ll be joining my new team mate
Stjs16
17th January 2015, 22:25

And this is the Ice cream parlour where I’ll be joining my new team mate

Silly me not checking predictive input
Clive Allen (@clive-allen)
17th January 2015, 22:48

And, if you find yourself at this point here, you can take it that you’ve left the track…
penguin
17th January 2015, 23:04

Vettel: “They call this track S.I.C. – Shaded in Crayon. True story.”
Robbie (@robbie)
17th January 2015, 23:13

And this righty-lefty bit here, boys and girls, is where I throw up a little bit in my helmet.
ElBasque (@elbasque)
17th January 2015, 23:26

“and here’s where Webber put the tar out for me”
Castwand2 (@castwand2)
17th January 2015, 23:27

So this track looks like a kangaroo, but actually if you flip it over it looks like a dog
Mark Thomson (@melthom)
17th January 2015, 23:43

Ok, boys and girls..I know Verstappen was just the beginning, but I didn’t know I had to help you qualify for the superlicense already.
Mark Thomson (@melthom)
17th January 2015, 23:47

I don’t know if it is a hairpin or chicane, a little bit of both I guess.
Rigi (@rigi)
18th January 2015, 0:01

That’s where Kobayashi overtook me in his Caterham. He had new tyres, of course he was quicker, but after two laps he was off.
Little_M_Lo (@pezlo2013)
18th January 2015, 0:32

No way we’re going 175kph through there! Did Fernando access Mercedes’ data too?
James (@jamesjames123abc)
18th January 2015, 0:36

“Here’s a promise, ladies and gentlemen: If Daniel passes me through this corner, I’ll move to Ferrari. I’m saying this because it’s so unlikely to happen”
Henry Becquerel Ryuichi Nakano (@ryuichi)
18th January 2015, 0:46

“And by this corner I was already ‘tough luck, mate’. “
Suvan Naidu (@serv)
18th January 2015, 1:37

“This is the section Bernie told me he designed himself to make us feel like we’re going round and round in circles”
ColdFly F1 (@)
18th January 2015, 2:16

We go 310kph in 7th on the straight; not sure how though much that is in the local currency!
Robbie (@robbie)
18th January 2015, 2:25

Seb, with a good-faith gesture, is seen here advising Verstappen’s crew.
1. Greg-C
  18th January 2015, 9:18
  
  Max won’t be driving today ,
  He has detention for skipping school ,
Kim
18th January 2015, 2:38

“Pastor was about here at the time.””
Lee (@leejo)
18th January 2015, 2:41

This is my favorite turn here. Every time I’m there I think “Dong, where is my automobile?”
Nyki
18th January 2015, 2:45

As you can see I’m not very good at drawing squirrels. But then most of the ones I see are flat!
1. Apexor
  18th January 2015, 20:02
  
  Winnier
Smithmachine (@smithmachine)
18th January 2015, 6:28

Zis little pinky is ze finger I will be using in 2015. Ze index finger will curl up and hide like zis.
gunusugeh (@gunusugeh)
18th January 2015, 7:24

konichiwa ….ouchh ehmm…. wo ai ni ….uhh eemmh …. eehh …. This is Turn 2 !
Placid (@placid)
18th January 2015, 8:27

This is where I met Anna!!
tgu (@thegrapeunwashed)
18th January 2015, 8:43

“So we’ve just climbed this near vertical slope and crested the hill. This is the point at which the cars will fall off onto the track below…? I need to speak to Hermann, this looks bad.”

At the unveiling of the Chinese GP, no-one had warned Seb that the layout had been rotated 90 degrees so that it could be projected on to a wall.
Mark Thomson (@melthom)
18th January 2015, 9:13

Und zen, after the last brandy, Mr. Tilke made this thing.
Jimmy Croul (@jimos)
18th January 2015, 10:10

“This is where Kobayashi un-lapped himself”
suffolk (@suffolk)
18th January 2015, 12:40

After revealing his move to Ferrari, Red Bull place Vettel on kindergartening leave.
Scalextric (@scalextric)
18th January 2015, 13:34

Vettel briefs the new Toro Rosso drivers and their parents.
McF1 (@mccosmic)
18th January 2015, 14:31

Which is the best finger to make a point with again? I’m sure I used to know until Daniel turned up.
Retired (@jeff1s)
18th January 2015, 15:10

All in all, this is the first corner
the_sigman (@sigman1998)
18th January 2015, 16:34

…and here you can find the rest of the missing trophies.
Daniel (@mechanicalgrip22)
18th January 2015, 16:49

Now pay attention children, in a few years time one of you will be racing on this track in my seat, and you need to get this corner right.
Stephen Crowsen (@drycrust)
18th January 2015, 17:18

“Now at this point the car is in second gear travelling at 105km/hr and pulling about 3.5 Gs, which is enough to make your face look so horrid your mother would scream, but what you won’t have seen on TV because the broadcast is restricted to Pay-TV channels … what … F1 races are broadcast on Free to Air TV in China? … well then you’d have seen …” Blah blah blah.
JT Strong
18th January 2015, 17:56

Ven I turn der stirink veel, she go vright, maybe.
acedown
18th January 2015, 20:31

It was at this turn I realized that it was not going to win the title for a fifth time
Kevin Nguyen (@knwho)
18th January 2015, 20:55

“And if you look here you can see the remnants of my F1 dominance.”
Pink Peril
18th January 2015, 21:22

Seb fails to wow the crowd with his Karaoke rendition of ‘We are the Champions’.
George (@g64378)
18th January 2015, 21:30

Vettel is talking the new Toro Rosso recruits through the Chinese track
Tom L. (@tom-l)
18th January 2015, 22:32

“…and this is the route Bernie’s proposed shortcut would take…”
Mark Thomson (@melthom)
18th January 2015, 22:58

“And as you can see from this x-ray, is why I had a stomach ache that day.”
ob1kenobi.23 (@ob1kenobi23)
18th January 2015, 23:43

This is the corner where I made all the time when I won the first race for Red Bull.
MrJ
19th January 2015, 0:02

“This is one of the few Grandstands where you actually get spectators”
n0b0dy100
19th January 2015, 13:32

“This squiggle part was actually designed by Herman Tilk’s 5yr old daughter.”
Mick Harris
19th January 2015, 14:07

“…and here you can buy your Ferrari merchandise for next year!”
Brny666
19th January 2015, 16:05

Ooops… wrong finger!
Dr Robert Jones
19th January 2015, 17:33

SEB says………. Now its just here when the Renault engine just gives up the ghost and the Ferrari overtakes…..!
Saurabh (@sksahukanker62)
22nd January 2015, 3:33

This is the corner where donuts are most expensive :P

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157 comments on “Caption Competition 68: Sebastian Vettel”