Bernie Ecclestone, Hermann Tilke, Baku, 2016

Caption Competition 106: Ecclestone and Tilke

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Bernie Ecclestone confers with Hermann Tilke during the first race weekend at Tilke’s latest F1 track, the Baku City Circuit.

What were the pair talking about at the European Grand Prix? That’s up to you to decide.

Post your funniest suggestion for a caption in the comments below. A selection of the best will feature in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic Round-up.

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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112 comments on “Caption Competition 106: Ecclestone and Tilke”

  1. I want speed, speed, and more speed. And a longer straight down that way.

    1. Terrible

      1. I know what @keithcollantine wants to hear.

        More of Bernie criticism and mockery; not that I mind xD

  2. Now we just need the Israely Grandprix and Egiptian Grandpric and let’s call them the San Marino Graprix…

  3. “I want a circuit with no turns nor chicanes.”

    1. Awfyl

  4. And so my plan is to ask people to vote whether I should Leave or Remain in charge, nothing bad can come out of that, right ?!

  5. “You see the angle between my finger and thumb? We need more corners like that.”

    1. Ahahaha

      1. WillOfTheSupremo
        25th June 2016, 16:47


    2. Paul (@frankjaeger)
      25th June 2016, 17:57

      Hahahaha beat me to it!

  6. “I know things here are tight but I don’t appreciate turn 6 going through my office!”

  7. Ecclestone and Tilke discussing the next European GP location in Afghanistan.

  8. Look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don’t look around the eyes, look into my eyes…

  9. Saurabh (@sksahukanker62)
    25th June 2016, 12:20

    have u seen the Oval circuit of Monza, go and learn something from there. I need more circuits like that…

    1. Hahaha… best caption…

    2. LOL !!!! Winner

    3. Gaurav Sahu (@gauravsahu-whimsical)
      26th June 2016, 4:22

      We have a winner 👍👍

  10. “You realize if this EU Grand Prix is no good people are going to head for the Brexit”

  11. “I will blame you next time I see that Mexican on the podium.”

  12. ColdFly F1 (@)
    25th June 2016, 12:44

    Don’t listen to those guys at f1fanatic!

    1. Bull’s eye

    2. OmarRoncal - Go Seb!!! (@)
      25th June 2016, 18:48

      @coldfly Who pays you, me or them?

  13. Tilke, following his latest track criticism, try’s very hard to see things from Bernies perspective..

  14. I’ve made deals to run in Pyongyang, Phnom Penh and Mogadishu. Get your people to work designing tracks.

  15. Richard Chatburn
    25th June 2016, 13:00

    Castles. Close to the track. We need more. Get on with it.

  16. “Here’s an idea. You can keep your right-angle corners if I get my sprinklers.”

  17. “Not a bad job Herman, but can you move that castle over a bit, my missus called from her hotel and it’s blocking her view of the beach”.

    1. love it

  18. BE- why don’t you make all the bloody tracks this good?
    HT- cos you give me a right bunch of cowboys to work with, look at Austin!

  19. Bernie Eccleston tells Tilke to get Baku to the drawing board.

  20. “When there is a decision to run 25 races next year, you have to count planned additional USA circuits and present that to the one and only track designer”

  21. You’re other left around the old castle.

  22. “Now get in there and make me a coffee.”

  23. OmarRoncal - Go Seb!!! (@)
    25th June 2016, 14:07

    Pull my finger.

  24. “We need a slingshot after the straight.”
    “Why? Do you want to launch the cars into space?”

  25. See that corner, I want 3 of those for the new track in Tehran. Yes including the castle!

  26. That corner is a bit too much fun, do you think you could ruin it somehow?

  27. Tilke: I’m not sure a track will work in Vatican city.
    Bernie: do not underestimate the power of the dark side of the force….

  28. “If you drink, never design tracks !”

    1. MG421982 (@)
      25th June 2016, 15:44


  29. Bernie: You promised me a safety car, how else are they supposed to beat the Mercedes?!?!
    Tilke: But Bernie, you promised Pastor would still be here…

    1. OmarRoncal - Go Seb!!! (@)
      25th June 2016, 18:49


  30. With all the servility of a honey bee, Tilke sets out to carve 90 degree corners into Las Vegas, Svalbard, and anywhere else no one will watch.

  31. WillOfTheSupremo
    25th June 2016, 16:55

    Increasingly worried about the possibility of f1 fans boycotting his newest track, Tilke asks Bernie which direction does his next track needs to go. Bernie, equally frustrated, points at the nearest bin.

    Bernie with a human heart confirmed :D

  32. Jack (@jackisthestig)
    25th June 2016, 16:56

    “I want Spa re-shaped to look like the Heineken logo, get to work!”

  33. “Forget the track layout. You take that empty grandstand and reproduce it at every circuit on the calendar”

  34. TIlkeston – “Berny, I know you are really short, but do you really need to stand on that box to rank to me?”

    Berne – “I always prefer to talk down to people”

    1. Seriously, auto correct!

      Tilke – “Berny, I know you are really short, but do you really need to stand on that box to talk to me?”

      Berne – “I always prefer to talk down to people”

  35. But Bernie fast corners are too dangerous
    This isn’t sport you idiot… its business!
    Now go home to the FIA and tell your father I’m bigger than him

  36. They should put Perez in that Ferrari if they want some excitement around here.

  37. Bernie – Qualifying was far too interesting, go make this track more boring now

  38. “No no no, finish straight is too short, Lewis didn’t had enough free time for some experiments”

    1. LOL – wonderful!

  39. “Hmm, I’m wondering about ruining several corners, any suggestions?”

  40. “Do not touch RedBull Ring, you understand me?”

  41. “Where’s the toilet, Bernie?”
    “Go alongside finish straight, turn left at Turn 16”

  42. “Hold on a sec; So Hermann, the cheque from Iran just came through, I’ll need you to bang out another track.”

  43. Ecclestone: This is not a 35mm camera, it is 110!

    1. @drycrust, actually it’s not a camera at all, it’s Bernies remote engine mode controller.

      1. seriously??????????????

      2. @hohum I like that, very good!

  44. Go sit in the stands. I’m trying to fill the 13000 seats but it’s not working!

  45. Bernie: Fans and drivers are saying you’ve designed a unique and interesting track… You’re fired!

  46. The future of f1 is up there. next time, give me hills!

  47. Rui (@colinmcrui)
    25th June 2016, 19:13

    I told you, that main straight is too long!

  48. Bernie: I want a night race at the North Pole during summer.
    Hermann: Uh.

  49. Bernie: “The results from your track design popularity polling have been counted, … your taxi to the airport is right over there.”

  50. They were supposed to go t-h-a-t way.

  51. BE: Next track I want you to Bagdad..the Saddam Circuit. You have too make it IED safe!

  52. Bernie: Thank you for putting sprinklers on the track- it will spice things up a bit. Could you show me where they are again?

    Tilke: Ja, mein herrn Darth Ecclestone. I vill show you. Emperor McKenzie vill be mozt pleased, I know zis.

  53. Nonono don’t worry about it. We’ll just give any driver who crashes into the wall at the pits a 5 second penalty.

  54. “Trump needs your assistance to build some walls.”

  55. Bernie: Let’s go for lunch to that corner over there and we will discuss further in detail of the track you have designed

  56. No, only billionaires in the paddock club, you go over there with the rest of the staff.

  57. No, no
    Don’t be so insecure!
    All fans like your tracks

  58. Jason Rawlins
    25th June 2016, 23:19

    “Don’t forget I need my driveway doing next!”

  59. Peppermint-Lemon (@)
    25th June 2016, 23:21

    Bernie tells Herman to go and apologise to Lewis for creating such a difficult track layout

  60. Look Tilke, will you go away and make a proper circuit!!

  61. Looks like we should put more buildings in the way when you design a track Tilke.

  62. Bernie: “Your racetracks are too straight and narrow. I need you to add some political chicanery round the back of the circuit and a u-turn just before the finish line.”

  63. Excuse me, could you point me in the direct of the nearest Brexit..

  64. You will make competent track or you will drive on it!

  65. Ecclestone shows Tilke whos boss

  66. “They want me to go soon, Hermann. And I will admit I have made a few mistakes along the way that has basically turned F1 into a mere shell of its former sell. And you’ve been a good man though it all, but I am blaming all that is wrong with F1 on you before I go.”

  67. Bernie: “Hermann..I like this remote track boundary controller you’ve developed.”
    Hermann: “You’re welcome, Lord. I can only hope it will assist you in your noble field-leveling cause.”
    Bernie: “So..when I see..say… Lewis coming up to turn 15 in Q3 and I want to give him him a little surprise, I press the FF button to shorten the braking zone by 10 meters and the side button to make turn 10 5cm narrower, is that correct?”
    Hermann: Yes, Lord, that is correct.”
    Bernie: “Good. And this controller – it will work on all the old tracks as well, right?”
    Hermann: “No, Lord, only on my, uh..our special tracks, Lord.”
    Bernie: “Unacceptable! Get out of my sight and bring me one that does or you’ll be lucky to get a job designing car parks in Jersey!”
    Hermann: “Yes, Lord.”

  68. “If you pass this horizontal gaze nystagmus test you can have my job running F1. If you fail, you can only design oval tracks in the United States from now on”.

  69. Bernie Ecclestone explains to Hermann Tilke that the UK leaving the EU has nothing to do with its place on the F1 calendar.

  70. Tilke: I could go on the corner and get the milk you needed


  71. Having 4 year olds design the track was a brilliant idea so we don’t have to come back next year

  72. Dean Stewart
    26th June 2016, 8:11

    Here Herman, smell yer mum…

  73. Congratulations Hermann! You managed to capture the excitement of a NASCAR track, which should help new teams like Haas.

  74. “There’s a fan down at turn three who’s happy. Go down there and see what you can do about it.”

  75. Another boring circuit and your on the way out!

  76. “I’m getting Canadian, Brazilian and Italian GPs off the calendar, so there will be three new projects for you soon.”

  77. Yes Hermann, our selfie will at-least be in one frame!

  78. Hermann Tilke was unable to escape a bollocking from Bernie Ecclestone at the European Grand Prix due to the lack of run-off area.

  79. You do realize that brexit means that there will be no European GP for at least ten years ? What’s Silverstone? A mine Ag. Spa for the water, nice.

  80. Bernie – “Take a flight to North Korea, you’ve got some work to do”

  81. Alex McFarlane
    26th June 2016, 21:26

    “You see that picture over there, that’s how an exciting racetrack is supposed to be designed. Now get out of my sight!”

  82. Derek Edwards
    26th June 2016, 22:59

    Not content just to stand on Baku’s 2016 payment, Bernie explains how much taller it needs to be for him to consider removing the second DRS zone for 2017.

  83. Derek Edwards
    26th June 2016, 23:05

    I think I left my phone charger back in Canada…

  84. Bernie: “Next time please make sure the design of the track at least appears to be worth the $200 million they’re paying me to bring them a race.”

  85. David Nelson
    27th June 2016, 0:26

    “I said it’s a
    One for the money
    Two for the show…….”

  86. David Nelson
    27th June 2016, 0:29

    “I said it’s a
    One for the money
    Two for the show……..”

  87. ” Believe me Hermann , one restroom every 50 meters is NOT too many .In fact ,could you excuse me a second .”

  88. “Go and start working on the African Grand Prix!”

Comments are closed.