Lindsey Vonn, Formula V8 3.5, Red Bull Ring, 2016

Caption Competition 117: Lindsey Vonn and Marko

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Are Red Bull cooking up another shock for the driver market? Champion skier Lindsey Vonn tested a Formula V8 3.5 car at the Red Bull Ring earlier this year with Red Bull Junior team boss Helmut Marko watching on.

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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  • 85 comments on “Caption Competition 117: Lindsey Vonn and Marko”

    1. “I think Red Cow is a good name for another junior F1 team.”

      1. @hzh00 you are full of B.S.

        1. In quotation marks.

        2. @ferrox-glideh
          Same to you and your profile dude.
          “In quotation marks”.

          1. Sorry, I forgot to put my initial post in quotation marks, and upon seeing it I realized that it could be construed as being rude to you, which was not my intent. Peace.

            1. No worries then

            2. Sorry I should have requested clarification first. Peace to you too.

        3. P.S.
          You don’t have to brag about it.

    2. Helmut Marko explaining ‘quid pro quo’ to misses Vonn.

    3. You’re the only one who’s faster downhill then Kvyat’s career.

        1. Nice one. Love it!

      1. Ooch. Excellent!

      2. Yeah, winner for sure.

      3. Christopher Seward
        19th December 2016, 6:30

        hahahaha!

    4. Shame that the car is a write off, but im used to only brake once, after the race is finished.

    5. Marko: I could dance like nothing when I was younger Lindsay, I could groove this way and twist that way. I should show you some moves.
      Lindsay: arghhh, mmmm, no thanks Marko.

    6. That’s why i tell them my Eye was blinded
      Sorry, low

    7. Marko, I’m not interested in doing the manniquin challenge right now, will you please just tell me my friggin’ time !!

      1. my favourite! :D

    8. The mirrors… are not… for makeup… No!

    9. Helmut secretly prepares the replacement for next time Kvyat crashes

    10. Marcel den Engelsman
      17th December 2016, 12:45

      Let me check you out whit my good eye

    11. Helmut : “So tell me Lindsey, just how good in bed was Tiger?”
      Vonn : “He was a quick as a Williams, but unlike a Williams, he always finished!”

    12. LV : “What should I do when I had a few bad races?”
      HM : “Have your coach tell you you have a cracked ski and replace them for some new ones, it worked for us with Vettel and Ricciardo.”

    13. Fast enough for equal status? First we’d to get rid of Bernie, then Stirling, then the grid girls, then the comments, then the trolls, then…

    14. Honestly i belive you gave Kvyat a bad example of how to be a champion as he is relying on his downhill pace these days.

    15. Marko: In skiing it is dangerous to go off piste. In F1 you can go off the track and take the piste.

    16. That was a quick lap… for a girl.

      Same time as me…. but I only have 1 eye soooooo. YeahThanksButNoThanksBye.

    17. Helmut Marko tries to do something Toto Wolff has failed to do with his wife.

    18. “Aerodynamics is all about curves.”

    19. If this guy is the ‘Junior team boss’, then I wonder how old the senior is.

    20. “Could you please stop calling me Carmen?”

      1. “No, I don’t have Simona’s number.”

    21. Peppermint-Lemon (@)
      17th December 2016, 16:46

      Marko : Just look at the way light bounces off the new 2017 front wing. No other team will be clever enough to use your carving skis’ Lindsey hehe.

    22. “Yes, I knew that the cockpit is so tight for F1 was not physically demanding sport. But you knew how to slide in there.”

    23. Helmut: “We could do with some melodramatic shrieks when you go off the track or sobbing when you crash.”
      Vonn: “I do not shriek! I do not sob! You are going to ask one of the men to do that for you!”

    24. HM: “So Bernie said, starting 2018, let’s do all the driving on artificial snow, so it’s more exciting. And that’s where you come in …”

    25. or:

      HM: “For next season, we took away Kvyat’s racing shoes and have outfitted him with a pair of ski boots. Our engineers expect that’ll improve his times.”

    26. Just let you know Lindsey we don’t do sumersaults in F1. We go fast and hard.
      The closest thing we can do is a donut.

    27. Lindsey to herself: common grampa let me drive already I don’t need your life story.

    28. Seriously…Mercedez want me ?

    29. “These cars aren’t really set up for someone so big and muscular, but I think we can get you in ok.”

    30. I see pretty well with my one eye, I can see the Red Bull can over there..

    31. As F1 cars are expected to be physically more demanding, Red Bull Junior Team get creative again with their drivers selection.

    32. Desperate in Maroc
      17th December 2016, 21:41

      Red Bull proudly fields the first mixed gender driver.

    33. “Lindsey, … I realize you’re not accustomed to the bottom step of the podium, but here at Red Bull you’ll quickly get used to it.”

    34. Helmut immediately realised the surgery to shorten his right leg was a bad decision.

    35. Helmut thinks: if I play Dietrich right, I can replace kvyat with her.

      Lindsay thinks: if I play *with* Dietrich right, I can replace Helmut…….

    36. Lyrics:
      Take me by the tongue and I’ll know you
      Kiss me ’til you’re drunk and I’ll show you all the moves like Jagger
      I’ve got the moves like Jagger
      I’ve got the moves like Jagger

    37. Red Bull sampling new drivers to drive slowly in front of Vettel.

    38. ‘Wait a minute, is this old creep staring at me or is that a glass eye?’

    39. ‘…and then Bernie said, “Women should always wear white, to match the other appliances in ze kitchen!”.’

    40. Hey Lindsey i also did a body paint calander shoot. You should have seen where Webber wanted to paint the bulls horn. Lucky Sebastian was there otherwise i would have been in real trouble with the number 2’s if u catch my drift

    41. Lindsay Von is an amazing athlete, and I suspect that she would have no problem handling the high g-forces of the upcoming era.

      caption: “What do you mean women aren’t fast enough for F1?”

    42. Inspired by Austrian talent, Lindsey Vonn decides to be the next Terminator.

    43. The search for Kvyat’s replacement goes on

    44. Wait, Justin Bieber is here? I thought I got the most favored celebrity table in the Red Bull hospitality!

    45. “Nice pair of coconuts.”
      “Thanks, but only one of them works.”

    46. Don’t worry you’ll get your turn. Right after Riccardo, Max, Sainz, Kvyat, Gasly, Kari…

    47. Just keep Max’s overalls and helmet on, we’ll sell you to Mercedes, then at turn 1 of every race next year just bobsled into Hamilton…

    48. Fed up with the PGA tour?

    49. “Your lap times really seem to have improved drastically! Maybe we’ll have to take you on as a junior driver again, Beitske!” “For the last time, Helmut, the name’s Lindsey…”

    50. “when are you gonna let me drive the car? when are you gonna let me drive the car? when are you gonna let me drive the car?”

    51. “2 Olympic gold medals, 76 World Cup wins and 4 overall titles? Pffft…that’s nothing. I won the 24 hours of Le Mans 45 years ago!”

    52. Well at least with you i can take a drink before and after.

    53. Lindseys carefully composed expression when Marko tells her how extremely steep Eau Rouge is.

    54. Typical sexist comments abound. Nothing changes, eh.

    55. Ever the gentleman, Marko tries not to look at Lindsey’s sweat patch.

    56. At the Red Bull Experience, Lindsey tries to look interested whilst hearing another old racing tale from an elderly fan.

    57. “So glad you’re of the drugs now”
      “Errrm that’s another Lindsay, dokter …Kohl”

    58. Marko: Max is surprisingly quick for someone his age!
      Vonn: I know…

    59. Reading some of these comments made me check my watch to make sure it wasn’t still 1952.

      Some of you ‘men’ should be ashamed.

    60. Vonn is not impressed as Marko stalls in answering her question, when are you getting a female driver in one of your cars?

    61. ..and then if I take a wide enough line and let the back end kick out just enough, that’s exactly how I plan on sliding into your DM’s

    62. I promise you, if the sailing thing doesn’t work out, Newey’s going to try doing next.

    63. Helmut: Are you sure the milk came from a goat?
      Lindsey: Certainly did. And it came from Chicago!!!
      Helmut: CURSES!!!! I should have called Rossi!!!

    64. I went in so hard I wasn’t just off piste I was off my trolley too …

    Comments are closed.