Caption Competition 118: Rosberg in retirement

Caption Competition

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Nico Rosberg has bowed out of F1 and left confusion in his wake as Mercedes scramble to fill the world champion’s empty seat.

As for him, 31 years old is an awfully young age to be shopping for pipes, slippers and ear-hair trimmers. Can you come up with the best caption for this picture?

Post your funniest suggestion in the comments below. A selection of the best will feature in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic Round-up.

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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  • 155 comments on “Caption Competition 118: Rosberg in retirement”

    1. Either I’m joining Team David Letterman or Lewis needs a little more Santa 🎅 in his life.

      1. It took Rosberg a long time to beat Hamilton again…

        1. The stress of last years title race with Lewis has taken its toll on Nico

          1. Or is Nico just trying on the latest F1 HAirLO head protection device

      2. Sergio Pastrana
        7th January 2017, 23:07

        Next target, conquering the North Pole!

    2. Keith, just leave this without caption. Nothing could do it justice!

      1. +1 That was my thought!

    3. In a further example of ageism in the workplace, Santa Claus is to be replaced by a slightly slower, but more reliable, version in 2017.

    4. @Rosberg: You are late, Christmas has gone and so has the New Year, Now you have to wait for another 10 months.

    5. Rosberg seems to be the leading candidate to take the starring role in the next “Cast away” film.

    6. “I might be retired, but that doesn’t mean Lewis can’t be my rival anymore. Hehehe, time to get more Instagram likes than him.”

    7. Rosberg: my beard is so cool the chair fainted…

    8. “I’m not thinking about growing a beard, I just look at not shaving one day at the time.”

      1. XD
        And look at me now, I can move out of my dad’s shadow as racer who had a beard

      2. Hahaha… good, but a Caption Competition was won in this way already ;)

    9. NICO’s new aero package still needs some work done on it !

    10. Well if Lewis can grow a beard, then so can I

    11. Roth Man (@rdotquestionmark)
      7th January 2017, 11:25

      Britney Spears has had another meltdown

      1. LOL this could be a winner. Funny.

      2. Ha ha… Goes way back…

    12. Rosberg was left with a huge beard after he forgot to turn his razor into the corners of his beard; just like on the race track.

    13. Wilson, where are you? Wilson…..

    14. Britney is out of rehab!!!

    15. The side effects of Rosberg’s performance enhancing drugs are finally starting to occur.

    16. maybe i can return like this next year! who will recognised me ?

    17. Santa’s traditional appearance gets a revamp in the Bottas household.

    18. Five days after winning the championship Nico activates his escape Claus.

      1. I see what you did there :)

      2. Nick (@theawesomefish)
        7th January 2017, 13:48

        Badoom tish!

      3. Winner in my book. Lovely pun

    19. Nico Rosberg to embark on new career as German 19th Century philosopher, henceforth to be known as Nico ‘Friedrich’ Rosberg.

    20. Hair today, gone tomorrow.

    21. ♪♪♪
      I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK
      I sleep all night and I work all day.

      I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
      I go to the lavatory.
      On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea


    22. I’ll shave when Ferrari wins a grand prix!

      1. Ouch! Good one

      2. Martin O. Powell
        7th January 2017, 15:59

        Very clever!

    23. Embracing retirement, Nico is no longer weight conscious

    24. Back in my days we didn’t do any fuel saving or tyre saving, it was always flat out!

      1. @xtwl, I’ll grant you that one.😀

    25. With aspirations of acting, Rosberg uses his retirement bonus to open Monaco’s first Duck Commander store and promptly grows the mandatory beard to fit in with the cast of Duck Dynasty.. Sales aren’t as good as hoped..

    26. Tax evasion rule #1

    27. Although retired from F1, Nico Rosberg is still testing new head protection concepts proposed by FIA.

    28. I’m not thinking about shaving at all, It’s just a beard thread at a time

    29. Turns out Nico will compete for a second championship in a row after all.

    30. Rosberg Reveals Real Retirement Reason: ‘I was having to shave 8 times a day to keep up the Mercedes image and I’m exhausted. As you can see now I only shave once a day.’

    31. When asked whether he may grow bored from being retired, he simply heard ‘grow beard’…

    32. There is no disguising that Rosberg is a coward.

    33. After retiring from Formula One, Rosberg finally felt he could let his hair down

      1. Look mom, I’m a real man!

    34. Even after retiring from F1, Nico keeps finding himself in hairy situations.

    35. Mercedes rule of “Less weight” has no burden anymore.

    36. Codemasters F1 2016 new update features customizable characters.

    37. Mercedes announce Lewis’ new chief mechanic; Rico Nosberg.

      1. Fudge Kobayashi (@)
        8th January 2017, 18:35

        Hahahaha +1

    38. The 2017 regulations will affect aerodynamics in many ways.

    39. Always looking to shave a few tenths off their laptimes

    40. i started growing this beard when i retired.

    41. Peppermint-Lemon (@)
      7th January 2017, 13:29

      2016 F1 driver ages considerably during championship winning year, and prepares for semi retirement working as shopping centre Santa

    42. After retirement, there was little else for Nico Rosberg but to slowly morph into Brian Blessed from the chin upwards.

    43. I no longer want to ride, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?

    44. After retiring from Formula One Nico Rosberg began planning for his second career hosting Duck Dynasty: Monaco Edition

    45. Nick (@theawesomefish)
      7th January 2017, 13:53

      In attempts to lead a quiet post-F1 life, Rosberg employs a disguise to fool his avid fan.

    46. Hans van Voonebosch
      7th January 2017, 13:55

      Even Rosberg himself thinks his continuing retirement gag now has a serieus beard

    47. Now my wife will not recognize me at race weekends. Time to call Toto!

    48. Red Bull announce a huge signing for the 2017-2018 seasons, Fico Nosberg will pilot the RB13 taking the place of Daniel Ricciardo, who sadly passed away during a pit stop video challenge that involved multiple ping pong balls and a shoey.

    49. “Son, when you’ll be world champion, then you’re beard-wised in following my footsteps!”

    50. Hamilton: (Confidential) Dear Santa, I want a less competitive team-mate for next year

      Bottas: Dear Santa, Next Year i want a top drive for next year

      Massa: Dear Santa, I don’t wanna retire yet…

      Rosberg: Ho Ho Ho!

    51. “I’ve always left the space, even if it was just a beardhair’s breadth…”

    52. All season Lewis was suspicious of his new chief mechanic, but he could never quite put his finger on it.

      1. This did make me chuckle!

    53. Correction:

      “Son, when you’ll be world champion, then you’re beard-wised in growing your own!”

    54. Now I can live my teenage dream of being a ski bum.

    55. Nico thought it wise to go incognito when applying for a new job at his local office supply.

    56. That’s why he retired; he got a better job; he was Santa!!!

    57. After retirement, Nico could finally follow his true dream of joining ZZ Top.

    58. Check out Vivian’s new ride! ;-)

    59. “After retiring from F1, Nico Rosberg aims to retire from marriage.” :-)

    60. “I’ve had enough close shaves partnering Lewis”

    61. Rosberg reveals how much exhausted he is after winning his F1 Championship

    62. If Your Dad Doesn’t Have a Beard, You’ve Got Two Mums.

    63. Has anybody seen my AMG chainsaw…?

    64. Ho Ho Ho. Nico Rosberg in a suprising turn of events, retires from Shaving.

    65. ‘Has Santa Just Handed Mercedes the 2017 Holdiday Season?’

    66. Finally found something where I’m quicker than Lewis. Grows at an amazing speed!

    67. Rosbergs new contract with Gillette is in jeapardy

    68. Now, Valtteri, have we been a good boy this last year? Have we been nice to our manager?

    69. Now I (Rosberg) can participate in the 2017 World Beard and Moustache Championship and beat that Young American, We Germans can again be the World Champions 😀

    70. Hair Today……Gone Tomorrow…….

    71. ”What year is it?”

    72. Sorry, Nico. It’s still not as awesome as your Dad’s mustache…

    73. Rosberg reveals how much of a toll the championship took on him.

    74. Rosberg: “Glad also got out of that Gillette deal”

    75. Who needs F1 ?
      I’ve just done a deal for a spin off reality show.
      Mountain Monsters Monaco…

    76. Nico Rosbeard.

    77. F1 World Champion Driver Nico Rosberg doing a “practice session” to sing the theme song for Spongbob Squarepants for 2017.

    78. Y’arrrr! Why is the rum gone?

    79. Rosberg: That was my acting double on the podium.

    80. After 4 years of partnering Hamilton, Rosberg foolishly believed he was prepared to cope with a child is his own.

    81. Looks like Daniel Riciardo has a new competion; a Champioship beard.
      Now every driver will want a championship beard.

    82. Oh, Lewis! Stop playing with your phone!

    83. This years championship was such a close shave, nico couldn’t face doing it again.

    84. Now that he’s free of strict aerodynamic regulations, Nico feels more relaxed about featuring something that flexes at speed.

    85. “Just, just 1 shave at a time.” “For sure.”

    86. “I’m not even thinking about being clean shaven yet. I’m tackling each hair one at a time.”

    87. Guys, I found my next job.I am Santa’s Little Helper.

    88. Gordons Alive?

    89. Nico: Has anyone seen my Viking helmet?

    90. #BrianBlessed

    91. Guess he ran out of hairgel.

    92. Wait,… I said I wanted to look like Balzac, not a …

      Nevermind! When does Brian Blessed want this back?

    93. Chris (@tophercheese21)
      8th January 2017, 6:00

      With this disguise, hopefully Lewis won’t recognise me next time we awkwardly bump into each other in our Monaco hotel.

    94. “I thought they said facecraft.”

    95. “Even my beard is faster than yours, Lewis!”

    96. Braun GP announce shock return to F1 with clever marketing ploy.

    97. Well, that settles it, Nico is neither German nor Monegasque, he’s from Finland!

    98. So used to having his head stuffed in a helmet, Nico decided to stuff his head into a beard to compensate…

    99. I’ve finally been able to beat my father, now i can truly retire.

    100. Rosberg started his acting career by playing role as Santa Claus.

    101. Deb H (@debbiehickeyhotmail-com)
      8th January 2017, 11:03

      Hair today – gone tomorrow.

    102. Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
      8th January 2017, 11:55

      Certain he was going to bottle it, Toto had hidden the real Nico Rosberg in a basement in Brackley

    103. Nico regretted his resolution to not shave again until he beat Lewis in a race once more, made mere minutes before his fateful decision to retire from F1 …

    104. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I’ve always wanted to be a…. a lumberjack!”

    105. Nico getting in touch with his Finnish side.

    106. Staying away from F1 has made me a beardo

    107. “We grew up together, raced together for years and somehow Lewis, he’s such a great competitor, always had the best beards. Finally, finally…”

      1. Lewis: “I had a couple of bad razors this year but I did my best”.

    108. On a recent trip to his father’s home town in Finland, Nico was rather stunned to meet his previously unknown to him half-brother, Rasmus.

    109. Nico trials the race balaclava for the newly announced Artic Circle GP.

    110. Glyn Blackburn
      9th January 2017, 10:15

      Who said I won the championship by a whisker?

    111. Nico Rosberg dresses as Moses in the hope that someone might actually want his autograph!

    112. Aerodynamics will never rule my life again.

    113. Finally, I don’t have to worry about weighing the car down anymore!

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