Caption Competition 124: Bottas at Mercedes

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Valtteri Bottas has been getting used to life at Mercedes. In Stuttgart this week he even got to try one of the W08’s slightly earlier predecessors.

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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152 comments on “Caption Competition 124: Bottas at Mercedes”

  1. Mercedes gets to work on the next rashly thought out rule change in case 2017’s rules don’t fix the racing.

    1. Lewis, are you sure there’s no no:1 driver? I can’t help but think I’m not getting the same updates.

  2. Valtteri gets to grips with the ‘state of the art’ Mercedes simulator

    1. ‘Nuff said

  3. Having test driven his W08, Bottas is now more skeptical over Wolff’s claims that he will give both his drivers ‘equal status’

  4. Bottas founds the handling to be vastly improved compared to his last year ride.

    1. Winner! =))

    2. This one. This is the one.

    3. Ha ha ha! Good one.

  5. Bottas was starting to wonder whether he should have read the clause on equal treatment before signing the contract.

  6. “I’m not sure this is what they meant by bigger tyres, but you guys know what you’re doing I guess”

  7. ”This is not what Toto told me about the 2017 car…”

  8. Bottas is in danger of penalty due to unsafe release.

  9. Sorry i cant drive a manual

  10. “I knew you’d give Lewis the better parts but this is just ridiculous”

    1. This is pretty good

    2. honestly

  11. Before leaving Williams for the last time Valtteri takes the opportunity to sit in the chassis Frank has put aside to thank Felipe for coming back from retirement.

  12. Bottas is caught taking a sneak peak at the new McLaren Honda

    1. Shots fired!

  13. Upon seeing the 2017 test car, Valteri wondered if the usual sandbagging had gone a little too far this year

    1. Maybe it’s just a really sophisticated camo livery like red bull ran last year…

  14. “Now where are the 1000 horses you promised me to drive guys?”

  15. “Still more grip than last year’s Pirelli’s.”

  16. Maybe Anthony Hamilton was right..

  17. Bottas in pole position for the hipster grand prix.

  18. After his seat fitting in Mercedes’ 2017 race car Valteri questioned the decision to let Paddy Lowe go…

  19. Valtteri Bottas remembering not so old times.

  20. Fernando is faster than you!

  21. Bottas feared he would be treated as a number 2 driver, his 2017 car confirmed his fears.

  22. VB: Is this where I open the DRS?

  23. Mercedes gives Bottas a weak opportunity to race LeMans in 2017 using old Nissan technology

  24. Nico told me if I master this, I can pass Lewis at the start.

  25. So, if Lewis drives this I ‘might’ have a chance of beating him?

  26. “I suppose this is why Nico left.”

    1. ha, good one!!

  27. tgu (@thegrapeunwashed)
    18th February 2017, 12:48

    The launch of the 2017 car was broadly positive, but Bottas worried that the Pirellis remained the weakest link.

  28. “So this is the extra gear they talk about.”

  29. ‘These Pirellis’ are much wider then the previous year’s.’

  30. Sorry, I can’t drive stick.

  31. The new Merc has so much downforce VB is surprised at how high the centre of gravity is. The advantage…better view of the surroundings.

  32. Uh oh, I get it now…W08 stands for WAIT.

  33. Bottas is finally convinced that he’ll get the same car as Hamilton.

  34. Listening to fans, the FIA announce new regulations to bring F1 “back to the good old days”

    1. Right on :)

  35. “I wish James Allison had started a few months earlier…”

    1. Nice !!

  36. Bottas does his best to hide his disappointment … he was hoping Mercedes would provide him at least with an SLS-AMG as his daily driver.

  37. Er…. Totto, I thought you said you use dummies for a crash test?…

  38. Valtteri was starting to doubt whether he was actually getting the same spec W08 as Lewis…

  39. Nick (@theawesomefish)
    18th February 2017, 13:43

    Okay, the “size zero” aerodynamic philosophy in F1 is just getting ridiculous.

  40. Bottas testing the competitor simulator

  41. “I wonder if Williams want a good machine for their new kid.”

  42. “‘I thought that the tyre widths were supposed to increase…?”

  43. Valtterri Bottas decides to have a go at the iconic HRT car.

  44. I can beat Lewis with this easy, I played Gran Turismo 4.

  45. Totto to Bottas, ” all you gotta do is beat Lewis in this and you’re confirmed beyond 2017. Enough with the questions now.”

  46. To ensure smooth transition to Mercedes, Bottas started with current Williams configuration

  47. Thought new models would have a halo system on it. Or is VB to use older model

  48. Prepared for my next role. Thank you 2017..

  49. Sob… “I was expecting something a bit sportier”

  50. Bottas: cool check out this old car.
    Security guard: I’m sorry sir, you can’t sit on the exhibits
    Bottas: Lol, mate I’m the Mercedes F1 driver, I can do what I want.
    Security guard: nice try son, you look nothing like Rosberg or Hamilton.
    Bottas: Rosberg retired, Mercedes hired me.
    Security guard: a likely story. C’mon, you are leaving.
    Bottas: back off man. Don’t touch me
    Security guard reacts badly to situation and Uses his tazer.
    Wherline: great job man, here’s the cash….

  51. You know I’m a fair racer I said I would give Lewis a chance.

  52. Faster than a McLaren -Honda

  53. I was sure the blueprints I bought with me were for the FW40

  54. When Mercedes told Bottas they’ve designed a classic; this wasn’t quite what Valtteri had envisaged.

  55. Mercedes are first to reveal their concept car for 2020 and beyond.

  56. Mercedes assign another Mercedes driver into three wheeler races and disregard Wehrlein concern about unfamiliarity on Race of Champions. Another injured driver before Melbourne?

  57. I think this the DRS lever….

  58. Bottas: Hmm, I’m not going to be able to get very far quickly with a top speed of 9mph and a range of 5 miles…….

  59. Bottas: Nico can’t be serious when he says this is the only way to beat Lewis???

  60. It took a whole for Bottas to realise that he was still holding onto an imaginary steering wheel …

  61. Cannot W08 any longer…

  62. Roth Man (@rdotquestionmark)
    18th February 2017, 15:57

    After Daniel Ricciardo’s devastating defeat to 7 year old Felipinho Massa last year, Valterri Bottas is keen to avoid a similar fate.

  63. “Thanks for the tips, Rosberg.”

  64. Hey! You were hired to drive the race car, not Sir Frank’s wheel chair

    (says the figure on the left)

  65. Mercedes were keen to stress that both drivers would definitely be treated equally.

  66. It turns out that starting procedures in F1 remain as complicated as one hundred years ago.

  67. Stephen Tomlinson
    18th February 2017, 16:39

    Isn’t that last season s McClaren?

  68. VB:”I’ll become world champion for sure if I tell Lewis that this is the 2017 car.”

  69. Bottas keeps a brave face but thinks he should have looked closer at the fineprinted terms.

  70. “And this here is the pit lane speed limiter, which limits the speed to below 8 km/h”.

  71. It was only when Toto saw the W08 finally assembled did he realise there was a serious drawback to the cheap CAD software he’d bought off the internet.

  72. Codemasters went too far with their classic version of their 2017 F1 game.

  73. In response to the critisism that ‘racing in the past has been better’, Mercedes presented their prototype for the upcoming 2020 rule changes.

    1. Good one!

  74. Mercedes emphasise their commitment to keep F1 open cockpits

  75. Toto, on looking at some of Paddy Lowe’s concept work for the W08, begins to suspect maybe it wasn’t necessary for him to go on Gardening Leave after all.

  76. Nico said this was his best secret on how to beat Lewis

  77. That’s not what I signed for…

  78. Valtteri Bottas, on examining the reconstruction of a supposedly long lost da Vinci drawing found on the back of a Monet painting in the Louvre, declares the drawing is a fake.

  79. Bottas provides feedback on stage two of the FIAs backwards looking regulations.

  80. “Heh, so this was Bernies first car?”

  81. After the positive response to implementing wider tyres, Bottas was keen to support Liberty Media’s proposal for larger rims

  82. Pirelli didn’t seem to understand the FIA’s instructions about widening the tyres for next season

  83. “With this car, i will have very good exuse”

  84. Ok Valtteri, we’ll start from the beginning.

  85. “Don’t pull that one! That’s the trapdoor!”

  86. “No Valtteri, you walk in front holding a lamp while Lewis drives it”

  87. Wow, I could do some great handbrake turns with this.

  88. Thomas Edison, while visiting an “in the future” display at the Smithsonian Institution, declares their construction of a futuristic method of transportation as ludicrous and “so impractical that you couldn’t even race in it”.

  89. V: How many horses does this thing have again?

  90. V: Looks like aerodynamics kit is still missing in my car.

  91. Upon firing up his W08 for the first time, Valterri noticed that the engine was a lot quieter than last year.

  92. “Guys, I think I see your problem with your practice starts last season….”

  93. The 2017 car has more changes than I expected…

  94. Open wheels -checked
    Rear engine -checked
    Open cockpit -checked

    Still Bottas is not quite impressed…

  95. Liberty Media have exaggerated with their back to basics philosophy.

  96. Bottas: So this is the lever that makes Hamiltons engine blow? Funny I’d have put it in the F1 car….

  97. Gee, this is a really interesting interpretation of the 2017 rules…

  98. Hmm, this must be that “magic paddle” they kept talking about on the radio….

  99. Mercedes clearly doesn’t want the same garage drama as the last few years.

  100. Lewis tries to convince Bottas that everyone has to start at the bottom.

  101. Roth Man (@rdotquestionmark)
    18th February 2017, 21:11

    Valtteri arrives at Mercedes for his bench fitting.

  102. It dawned on Bottas that he might not be getting the same updates on his car as Lewis’.

  103. “So this is Launch Control? Maybe we should keep Lauda out of the technical proces for future designs…. Bwoah…”

  104. Parking the bus, that’s my job for 2017

  105. “Is this meant to park or drive the car”

  106. When you say you signed for the history of an f1 team.

  107. VB; “I thought it was too easy getting that clause in the contract that I would drive the number 1 car”.

  108. “I thought I would get a better company car than this thing!”

  109. “…and this is the contract extension lever, yes?”

  110. Keeping this year’s drive options open, Bottas also tested the 2017 CAN-AMish car.

  111. “Now I see why Nico retired”

  112. I get the feeling Paddy Lowe already knew he was leaving when he pushed through this design…

  113. Mercedes are working on a car especially for Lewis: it doesn’t look like a boat, has a nice big gearstick, and is impossible for his teammate to read his telemetry.

  114. When Lewis said I could drive for Mercedes, this wasn’t the car I had in mind

  115. Roth Man (@rdotquestionmark)
    19th February 2017, 11:22

    Rival teams are suspicious Mercedes will be sand bagging in Barcelona and the car that arrives at Melbourne will look subtly different.

  116. And now lewis wont even share his data…this is tough !

  117. “I can’t believe this is what they meant when they said to lose some weight!”

  118. Bottas experiences Hamilton’s vision for considerably simpler Formula One Cars

    1. Like it!

  119. Bottas gave his first impression of the Mercedes W08 which is due to be launched on Thursday. “I mean it looks like a bench,” he said. “It’s so big, so much bigger than before. It’s wider, longer, higher.”

  120. It’ll certainly be flat out through Copse

  121. Bottas thinks that his engineers may have gone in the wrong direction on setup and would like to see Hamilton’s data

  122. Bottas: Here’s my setup Lewis

  123. Wondering how Bottas would call for a pit stop in the 2017 car, the helpful mechanics informed him about the signaling pistol strapped underneath the seat bench.

    – or –

    “Much improved visibility, light-weight chassis, great mileage, much more simple to operate (not a single button needed on the steering), – gents, this concept for 2017 is a WINNER!”

  124. One more:

    Mercedes new main sponsor, a maker of fine rubber bicycle tubes, necessitated a few modifications to the car …

  125. Hmmm. I’ll use Nico’s settings for this one.

    1. … cuz Lewis won’t share!

  126. Bottas gets his first look at the rolling chassis for the new Mercedes.

  127. “More of a bicycle than a boat to be honest.”

  128. So according to team stratagests I just pull this lever and a box of bananas are unloaded onto the track?

  129. Bottas: “I’m really excited about the opportunity to race for Mercedes… but the company car they gave me is not quite what I expected.”

  130. “Woah! These Mercedes clutches are tricky!”

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