Jacques Villeneuve, Fernando Alonso, Sochi Autodrom, 2017

Caption Competition 128: Villeneuve and Alonso

Caption Competition

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Fernando Alonso is off to conquer the Indianapolis 500. And he’s seeking the advice of another Formula One champion who’s already won it: Jacques Villeneuve.

What did these two have to say to each other? That’s for you to decide in this weekend’s Caption Competition.

Can you come up with the best caption for this picture? Post your funniest suggestion in the comments below.

A selection of the best will feature in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic Round-up.

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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  • 86 comments on “Caption Competition 128: Villeneuve and Alonso”

    1. No, it’s a left turn.

      1. It’s just a jump to the left.
        And a step to the right…

      2. Alonso in (S) troll mode: “I think Stroll is one of the best drivers and reminds me of you back in the days”

    2. Alonso: “are you still here!?”

    3. No, Jaques, I don’t have to buy a paddock pass.

    4. “So uh, how many corners are in an oval again?

    5. BAR Honda?
      Um, yeah.

    6. Jacques Villeneuve:

      “Don’t worry Fernando! Unlike the Mclaren, the accelerator in this car will make the car move forward.”

    7. “So do you consider yourself an Alonso or a Rosberg, Jacques!”

    8. Omar R (@omarr-pepper)
      6th May 2017, 12:40

      “Fernando, I lost most of my hair when I switched to Honda engines”.

    9. Alonso: So how does it feel, to be the last driver to win a title driving a Williams?
      Jacques: Christ, I’m getting old!

    10. JV: So i left Honda midway through the season, and joined Renault a year later.
      FA: hmmm?

    11. Jacques: “If only Indy still allowed F1 cars, you could have won Monaco and Indy in the same car”
      Alonso: “It would be like killing two birds with one car”

      1. Has to take the cake

    12. Listen to me nando – learn to play guitar. Worked for me when my career wasn’t going anywhere

    13. JV: “Repeat after me Fernando. When I get overtaken in a straight line it’s slipstream, not the engine.”

    14. Hey Jack, i hear you call yourself an Uber driver these days…

    15. JV: You know, Fernando, I think you do have a chance to win the Indy 500!
      FA: Aaaand it’s gone…

    16. Andy (@andybantam)
      6th May 2017, 13:27

      “Thanks, JV. Don’t sing my praises, though. I remember that CD you released. Ah, sorry to remind you about that. It was pretty embarrassing”…

      1. Andy (@andybantam)
        6th May 2017, 13:31

        True story.

        Younger reader should investigate this link…

        https://youtu.be/5BVn5EvRveM

        1. Not that cringe worthy… could be confused for your typical Canadian soft rock.

          Why do judgemental about what other people do in their time away from work?

    17. FA: And Honda promised they’d raise the bar on reliability!
      JV: What? They raised the BAR?

    18. Peppermint-Lemon (@)
      6th May 2017, 13:38

      Alonso to Villeneuve: “So how do you convert kilometres per hour to miles per hour?”

    19. VIL: I heard you are singing now?
      ALO: Just doing a little bit of Indy.

    20. Jacques to Fernando (in a French accent) :

      “Ton auto est poo poo! “

    21. Hey Jacques, does the milk really taste better than champagne?

    22. JV: Easy Fernando, just 800 left corners and it’s done!
      FA: Right…!?
      JV: No! Left!

      1. @furtadodasneves Of course for Villeneuve it was 808…

    23. JV: See, Fernando, here at Indy a well timed caution period can make or break your race…
      FA: I wonder what’s Nelsinho doing these days?

      1. Omar R (@omarr-pepper)
        7th May 2017, 15:07

        @radoye hahahaha Best one so far!

      2. He should ask Kvyat’s girlfriend.

        1. Ha ha, Kvyat’s girlfriend has the “Piquet” surname, right? Wonder whether she’s part of that Brazilian racing family…

    24. Neil (@neilosjames)
      6th May 2017, 15:50

      A sad, salty tear formed in Jacques’ eye as he recalled the days when he was allowed to walk around a cloudy F1 paddock in sunglasses and his own personalised hat…

    25. JV: so you are gonna come play with the big boys?
      FA: hi there, is this your first race? I love seeing fans from the older generation. Let me see if I can find a signed hat for you, you’re head looks cold….

    26. “You’ve inspired me, Jacques. If you can win this race, anyone can.”

    27. JV: I’m working on a new album and I’m doing guest appearances. Do you know flamenco?

    28. “Believe me Fernando, you need to balance the left turning with some right corners, just ask Peter.”

    29. JV: So the 500, eh?

      FA: Yeah, didn’t have anything better to do that day anyway!

    30. – And then, Le Mans, and then, the Tour de France.
      – You’re a real champion!

    31. “Hey Jacques, any idea how many kilometres 500 miles is?”

      “Yup, 500 miles worth!”

    32. Villeneuve: ” I call it Grey Steel… “

    33. FA: “Oh hi Jacques. For a moment there, I thought you were Mr. Robot.”
      or:
      FA: “As long as I always go left, I will be all right.”

      1. LOL. I’m thinking about Cristian Slater too

    34. JV “like your career, you are doing this backwards”

    35. Back in my day, if an engine lasted more than a session we would demand our money back.

    36. Ferrari, Seb fan
      6th May 2017, 19:36

      JV: Would you rather stay Honda or leave F1?
      FA: Hmmmmmm………… That’s a tough choice.

    37. Here’s how I managed to literally, HUGELY improve Honda’s F1 team 13 years ago, Fernando.

      Leaving.

    38. FA: Wait, you won that driving two extra laps, and did what after Newey left?
      JV: For years, I’d put a hair on the food of anyone who asked that at Newtown. I had to sell it when they wouldn’t stop asking!

    39. Jack (@jackisthestig)
      6th May 2017, 20:10

      McLaren recruit an experienced former World Champion to teach Fernando how to be more tactful and diplomatic when talking about Honda.

    40. FA: Jacques, 4 and a half minutes from P1 at Lemans and you’d have had the Triple Crown and even more than Graham Hill with your CART Championship, which would have made you the one and only in the world with your achievements. Any advice for me?

      JV: Yeah. You better start winning stuff soon!

    41. Sooo… Trying to win indy 500 ? Great to see you’re aiming to be my equal Fernando !

    42. No Fernando, it’s 202 laps to win the Indy 500.

    43. Jacques baffled. The only time somebody wants to listen to him.

    44. Finally when someone asks something to Jacques, he’s speechless.

    45. Derek Edwards
      6th May 2017, 22:47

      So you think you can be fit for Canada if I tell Eric I’ll be doing the Texas race?

    46. So Fernando, what was it like to drive a powerful and reliable Honda engine for a change at your test day?

      or

      JV: Fernando, think the Honda indy engine could compete against the Merc & Ferraris?
      FA: Certainly couldn’t be much worse than one we have now.

    47. JV: Trying to do as well as I did in my last Indy visit?
      FA: Trying to fool me? You were 14th!

    48. Alonso: I stay at McLaren because my mom wants me to drive slowly.
      Jack: What about indy then?
      Alonso: I haven’t told her anything about it. I would be grounded.

    49. ALO- You’re not competing this year?

      VIL- Nah, couldn’t be bothered. To busy complaing about F1’s current state.

    50. JV: It’s not that hard. Some NASCAR guy finished 6th here a few years ago with Andretti.
      FA: Hmm

    51. JV: “I can see myself through your sunglasses!”.
      FA: “Literally or metaphorically?!”
      JV: “Both…”

      1. Woah, that was deep!

    52. Mark Webber is not coming.

    53. Fernando, I like to think of this place as my “Private Paradise”. You should pick up a copy from the gift shop while you are here.

    54. So if i put a coffee holder in the left side of the steering wheel the car will turn allone right?
      This will left my hands free for tweets.

    55. [1 min stare in silence]
      FA: You know…
      JV: I know…

    56. Evil Homer (@)
      7th May 2017, 14:28

      “They will give you a rear when you get there, if not, give me a call…………….. I’ll fly with you! :)

    57. Waldorf: I’m bored. I have almost nothing to criticize. F1 running so smooth these days.
      Statler: I agree, except my engine.
      Both: Hahahahaha…

    58. Don’t worry Fernando, you’ll walk it.

    59. “Remember renault?”

    60. Vil: I’m not competing this year.
      Alo: Me neither.

    61. $100 gets you three soundbites on topics of you choice, and a rose-tinted harrumph. And I’ll throw in a CD.

    62. “Hey Jaques, is that a new invisible bicycle you’re riding there ??”.

      1. Ha ha, didn’t think of the Jacques’ pose till I read ur comment – good one :D

    63. Alonso: Hey, Jacques, tell me which driver I can ask to crash against the wall. In Singapore I got the trick very well.

    64. Jacques – “There’s no faster engine to take your career downhill…”

    65. Why don’t you wear a cap like me, Jacques? You can hide your rapidly advancing baldness.

    66. Carlos Patrão
      8th May 2017, 11:03

      So Fernando, I won Indy500. You won MonacoGP.
      Let’s race LeMans toghether, and maybe we’ll get half triple crown each other.
      Shall we?

    67. Denis Lefebvre
      8th May 2017, 19:18

      JV You have to really love milk to win this one ;)

    68. JV: Fernando: What is with the low profile?
      Fernando: Animal groups are hounding me like crazy!!!!!
      JV: Form one moment, I thought you may be asking me to …
      Fernando: I am. Would you?
      JV: You should ask The Boss’ kid if he is interested. Marco is itching for your ride.
      Fernando: Should have asked Alex. With all that publicity he had last year? He made Max very jealous.
      JV: You mean Max Verstappen? Why?
      Fernando: His Trophy does not have his face enshrined.

    69. Justin (@vivagilles27)
      9th May 2017, 17:49

      JV: Would you like some career advice on which team to drive for? Because I nailed it back in my day…..

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