Maurizio Arrivabene, Ferrari, Suzuka, 2017

Caption Competition 139: Arrivabene

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Ferrari have made a lot of headlines in recent months and few of them have been good.

Team boss Maurizio Arrivabene might have though the first-lap crash which eliminated both his cars in Singapore was as bad as things could get. Then came a trio of power unit failures which have mortally wounded the championship hopes of star driver Sebastian Vettel.

Can you come up with the best caption for this picture? Post your funniest suggestion in the comments below.

A selection of the best will feature in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic Round-up.

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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  • 146 comments on “Caption Competition 139: Arrivabene”

    1. I don’t know why Sergio is giving me the eye test, I didn’t fit that damn spark-plug.

    2. Even Ferrari’s facepalms were only 30% effective.

      1. Dammit that was a draft :)

        Even Ferrari’s facepalms had reliability issues.

        1. Chris (@tophercheese21)
          14th October 2017, 11:58

          I like the original tbh.
          Very funny!

      2. +1. Very similar to what I was gonna do, but you got there first

      3. Hahahaha that’s hilarious very funny

        1. Both versions get my vote, @gridlock :-)

    3. Why did we ever use Russian anti – virus?

        1. Why Vlad why?
          I knew we should have used Symantec.

    4. Chris (@tophercheese21)
      14th October 2017, 11:55

      “Perhaps if I try covering my face, Sergio won’t see me, or give me the sack.”

    5. “I could really use a cigarette, right now”

      1. I wonder if I can still get my old job at Marlboro back?

    6. “If you could read the top line Maurizio”

      “F-I-R-E….”

    7. Looks like I picked a bad day to give up smoking.

    8. Only one Ferrari left on track…

    9. Sebastian’s strange run of results became clear when he took his helmet off.

    10. Arrivabene can’t bear to watch as fate plays yet another game of ‘Heads, it’s Vettel; Tails, it’s Raikkonen’

    11. Sebastian…noooo, not again!

    12. Arrivabene imitating Vettel driving to the first corner in Singapore

      1. Ferrari team principal Arrivabene tries to get a feel for his number one driver’s peripheral vision.

    13. Maybe we should have Alka-Seltzer as a sponsor. I need some right now.

    14. Does the board read Spark Plug or Crash

    15. If you cover off this eye, you can see it was Verstappens fault in Singapore

    16. That sweet smell of oil burn

    17. Okay, with this eye you can see the Driver’s Championship. Now if you cover the other eye, you can see the Constructor’s Championship. Better or worse?

    18. “I am NOT looking forward to this meeting. I’ll just wear Vettel’s helmet, since he doesn’t need it!”

    19. After blaming Verstappen and then Stroll for the recent collisions with Vettel, a routine eye examination for Maurizio Arrivabene brings the Ferrari medical staff no closer to solving the mystery.

    20. Weeks of practice in the Ferrari Holodeck leaves Arrivabene with the urge to press the reset button.

    21. Sebastian Vettel’s latest helmet redesign was clearly too garish for some …

    22. wait, what did Luca always say about next season again?

    23. Honestly! Honestly!
      Vettel?

    24. You see Sebastian, you have two eyes and two mirrors. I simply can’t understand how you do it!

    25. Honda also uses NGK?

    26. Mama mia…Seb is so hard headed he doesn’t need his helmet any more!

    27. aj_sixtiesix (@)
      14th October 2017, 14:35

      Desperately seeking solutions and imitating Dr.Helmut Marko.

    28. Ferrari announcing new sponsor, Bayer aspirine.

    29. ” I see a lot of problems with our cars. I am going to halve them !! “

    30. I am going to win everything with one eye open for the rest of the season.

    31. MA doesn’t want every body to know that he only has one eye since he lost one due to unprecedented incident.

      1. But surely Helmut Marko could be of some help?

    32. Maybe I need glasses, the season looks better now.

    33. There that’s better, now I only see the good parts.

    34. Maurizio knows he should’ve used both hands, but now it’s too late… can’t unsee the evil…

    35. The look on your face when a $10 dollar parts stops a million dollar car.

    36. Maurizio, you’ll have to cover the other eye too, if you are simulating Vettel’s spacial awareness.

    37. Maurizio trying to figure out just how visually impaired you have to be, in order to crash into people on slow-down lap AND behind the safety car.

    38. I’m captain Maurizio. We shall attack that silver boat with all we got!!! Aarrrrgh! … anyone has seen my perrot?

    39. NGK supplies Honda!

    40. That 2nd best curse hits gain!

    41. May be it time for me to leave F1 and be a one eye Pirate..aaye!!

    42. Thomas Sherrill
      14th October 2017, 16:25

      Arrivebe reading eye chart: “M, Y, D, A, Y, S, A, R, E, N, U, M, B, E, R, E, D…”

    43. Doctor: No Maurizio. I said, keep your eye on the ball. Not the wall.

      1. I’ll tweak my first entry a bit –

        Marchionne – “Maurizio, I asked you to keep your eye on the ball, not on the wall”

    44. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king

      1. This gets my vote!

    45. Il stupido Seb. Wassa matta for you?

    46. Arrivabene keeps one eye on Sebastian’s race strategy and no eye on Kimi’s.

    47. Following the pit to car parade lap clampdown, Arrivibiene realises much too late he has given Seb entirely the wrong signal as he steams left towards Verstappen….

      1. Sorry…

        Following the Start line radio clampdown.

        Arrivibiene realises he has given Seb entirely the wrong hand signal as he mistakenly chooses to veer left towards Max..

    48. That Samurai looks so damn pleased with itself…

    49. A bit meta, but here goes…

      Arrivabene realizes he’s the subject of one of Keith’s caption competitions.

    50. Maurizo tries to make it clear to reporters that Ferrari still have one eye on the Driver’s championship

    51. Even Maurizio’s post-race game of hide and seek with Seb failed to spark much enthusiasm.

      “He’s right behind me isn’t he?”

    52. Silly bets can come back to bit you, despite his protests, Maurizio knows his right eyebrow is a goner with with this latest failure.

    53. Where in the blaze is my Visene eye drops? I need to get this red out.

    54. -I still see you Kimi, you playing shell game with those sparks again! You can’t foul a hawk, icy.

    55. I’ve got my eye on you…

    56. One eye, two eyes, no eyes it still does not look good!!!! RacerNorriski

    57. “I spy with my little eye something beginning with … ummm … ‘D. N. F.’! “

    58. Its only a matter of time before i start waking up with a horses head next to me in bed

    59. SV: “Honestly Maurizio, there’s nothing wrong with my hand/eye coordination.”

      MA: “Pfff…same here.”

    60. Argh…we could have had a V8!

    61. Maurizio: I shouldn’t have made jokes about the Honda engine… karma!

    62. Nick (@theawesomefish)
      14th October 2017, 20:57

      “If I cannot see Sebastian, perhaps he cannot see me…”

    63. Too much German wine.

    64. There was an ant in my hand and i wanted to kill it with my head.

    65. “Oh, mi fa male la mia testa. Questa è l’ultima volta che riceviamo le nostre candele da Halfords!
      – ( Oh, my head hurts. That’s the last time we get our spark plugs from Halfords! ).

      1. Love this one. Funnier in Italian.

    66. Sebastian, I need you to cover your right eye like this and read the second row from that chart.

    67. Sparkplugs in place, starting the engine….

    68. The Ferrari Opticians had an unconventional eye test for Arrivabene. They put up a picture of Sebastian Vettel and Kimi Raikkonen and asked him: “Which one do you prefer, driver number one, or driver number two?”

    69. I need to start using the third eye.

    70. I’m sure the accountant said “Why do you buy those expensive spark plugs with a Mean Time Between Failures of 10,000 hours when the race runs for 2 hours? Can’t you buy something a bit cheaper?”

    71. If I cover one eye things might seem a little better……nope, still the same…..mamma mia!

    72. I could have had a v-8

    73. Ugh, I should have hired the other Red Bull driver.

    74. Now where the hell did I put my spark plug shaped lighter?

    75. Ferrari’s reliability sage continues as Arrivabene needs a replacement for his right eye.

    76. Clemens Wenners
      14th October 2017, 23:21

      “That helmet was REALLY way to small..”

    77. Maurizio (to self): “Damn, I think I left the Fontina cheese in the glove compartment again.”
      Sergio: “Maurizio… Maurizio… Hey, Maurizio, did you get the team to check the spark plugs we got from Walmart last week? Maurizio? Hello, Maurizio! Have we got your attention?”
      Maurizio: “Huh? Oh yeah, mmm, just let me look into that…”

    78. After a difficult few races for Ferrari things got worse for Arrivabene when he remembered the bet he’d made in winter testing with Toto Wolff on which companies engines would be most reliable.

    79. Porca miseria, signore Marchionne. Please stop throwing the spark plugs at me. It hurts.

    80. Roth Man (@rdotquestionmark)
      15th October 2017, 0:08

      I spy with my little eye…… A lot of sacked people!!!!

    81. Maurizio realised now was not the time to tell Sergio how much he’d saved on those Ferrari-compatible spark plugs from China.

    82. Lost in translation: Vettel stormed out when Arrivabene promised to light a spark under his WDC challenge.

    83. “Another Season goes Arrivamale!”

    84. Damn, Fernando will be out the back with the ‘I told you so’ sign again!

    85. Talk to the hand, cause the face is not listening!

    86. The moment you realise that you can’t change engine supplier for next season…

    87. Arrivabene reenacts Sebastian’s Singapore start.

    88. Boy, that was a great party last night. My head hurts. Ha ha, that was such a good game of “hunt the thimble”. You wouldn’t think it was possible to hide it so well in the garage, but Kimi hid it before he went home. We all searched high and low, but we couldn’t find it. He was supposed to have revealed where it was before the race started … Is that Seb on the RT? Yes… what… he’s found the thimble?”.

    89. Oh no, I still haven’t recovered from the last Marchionne shake-up…

    90. “Aerodynamics is for people that can’t build engines”. “Aerodynamics is for people that can’t build engines.” “Aerodynamics is for people with a 5 cylinder engine.”

    91. “Daddy … how does an engine work?” “Well, Maurizio, the inside of an engine is just like a bicycle pump. There’s a thing inside it that sucks air in and blows air out. To make an engine we just add two magic ingredients: A tiny bit of petrol and a spark, and … Brrrrmmmm.”

    92. Taking Christian Horner’s advice after Singapore, Maurizio Arrivabene decided to get his eyes checked.

    93. Abracadabra Abracadabra, (peeking with a one eye) has the championship point changed?

    94. Karma,

      it all went downhill for Ferrari after they extended their marlboro- sponsership deal

    95. Maurizio did some panicked quality control on the contact lenses he bought on Ebay from that chap who’d sold him the spark plugs.

    96. Arrivebene hides the black eye he got from Marchionne

    97. No no, Sergio didn’t give me a black eye. I was just … euh … trying out next year’s car and when I got out, I bumped my head against the halo.

    98. tgu (@thegrapeunwashed)
      15th October 2017, 8:33

      “Signore Marchionne, things don’t look half so bad when I do this!”

    99. ‘See no evil, Speak no evil, Hear no evil’. The new team motto is approached half heartedly in true Ferrari spirit.

    100. No spark in the eye either.

    101. “Watch this! You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half.”

    102. Maurizio’s laptop with the reliability data crashes again.

    103. Why did i give Herrfinger an extension?

    104. “Hardships? What hardships? I see no hardships.”

    105. “Maybe if i cover my eye things won’t look half as bad”

    106. “Maybe with one eye I can see better”

    107. Arrivabene regrets vowing to run through the Maranello hills naked if Ferrari won fewer than 9 races this season

    108. There’s 6 little cylinders firing in a row, six little cylinders firing in a row, and if one little cylinder decides not to go, there’ll be 5 little cylinders firing in a row …

    109. How did i confuse V-E-T with R-A-I when i swapped those parts…?

    110. I wonder what it’s like to be a spark plug inspector … “ouch” … yep … “ouch” … yep … “ouch” … yep … oh, no shock … now what’s the instruction for no shock …oops it’s dropped onto the conveyor belt … oh well, …”ouch” ..yep … “ouch” … yep …

    111. Alex McFarlane
      15th October 2017, 18:23

      “Hey guys, if you cover one eye and squint with the other the championships are still in sight!”

    112. “What do you mean the plugs are from a unipart so we can get a free calendar”

    113. If you look at half the trouble it’s not that bad… is it?

    114. Has Marchionne gone yet?

    115. Dr: Read the top line…
      Arrivabene: ARRIVEDERCI

    116. “i had to double-take, yet believe me when i tell you — Stroll turned green, ripped his shirt off and started flipping cars over!”

    117. I wish I was back at Marlborough encouraging young people to smoke

    118. “Hey! wait a minute, if I close one eye and look the drivers and constructors points standing, Vettel and Ferrari are on top of the tables instead!”

    119. Merseysidefella
      16th October 2017, 22:16

      You forgot eee de pepperoni!

    120. If I look at it with one eye it’s only half as bad!! :-)

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