Caption Competition 43: Chilton and Surtees

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Max Chilton is the latest driver to have his place on the 2014 grid confirmed as he continues for a second season with Marussia.

Chilton, who made history by being classified in all 19 races in his debut season, will drive Marussia’s first Ferrari-powered car this year. Here he is talking to Ferrari’s 1964 world champion John Surtees at last year’s Italian Grand Prix.

Can you think up a good caption to go with this picture? Post your suggestions in the comments and a selection of the best will appear in tomorrow’s round-up.

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Image © Marussia

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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106 comments on “Caption Competition 43: Chilton and Surtees”

  1. Surtees: “See that, Max!”
    Max: “Wha… See what, John?”
    Surtees: “That! See that? It’s called ‘talent’ – now go and get it!”

    1. Hehe +1

      Really loved this one!

        1. Hah! Great one, reminds me of Mel Brooks!

  2. You’re in the wrong red car! Get over to the other one!

  3. JS “I was motorcycling world champion, F1 world champion, i won out on this legendary circuit and i even had my own team”
    MC “Not bad but did you ever finish every race in a season?

  4. Adrian Pearson
    18th January 2014, 11:07

    You need to be at THAT end of the grid!

  5. Surtees ‘Look at all those fast cars you’ll never drive…’

    1. Great one!

  6. Adrian Pearson
    18th January 2014, 11:08

    I remember this when it was all fields….

  7. “Last year you finished all races at first from last”. We are expecting the same this time too. So no Turbo, no DRS, No ERS… Now get them buddy…

  8. Surtees: “Now that’s how you win a Grand Prix…”

  9. JS “This Max is a pit lane, and that Max is a circuit, it is usually customary to drive faster on the latter.”

  10. JS: “If we raced to the end of the pitlane there, and I were on foot, I’d still win”

  11. A legendary racing driver talks to a young fan.

    1. A young racing driver talks to another elderly fan

      1. “Is that the bar there? I can’t see without my glasses”

        (apologies to the great John, and old people everywhere!)

  12. MC: “Hi John, My name’s M..”
    JS: “Get out.”

  13. JS: I’m a little teapot short and stout, here’s my handle….
    MC: -holds stomach to prevent lol at crazy old guy-

  14. So it’s striaght down there and then left, thats where I’ll find the sunbeds?

    1. Hahaha, Max does look a little like he has been left in a Tandoori oven too long.

      JS: While you were in doing your hair and using the teeth whitener, the other drivers were over there, lining up on the start of the grid for the race.

  15. Surtees: Oh, those red cars over there, I loved driving for Ferrari. Son, do you realize what does the support of Maranello mean for your team this year?
    Chilton: 19 consecutive race weekends of pasta? Mmmm…

  16. JS: “Come on young boy, go quickly to the grid! The GP3 race will start in a few minutes!”

  17. Look boy, over there! A penny! You’ll need it to keep your drive next season

  18. “My car was faster than your,” Surtees

  19. “John, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have never used hair gel. Certainly not in the quantities you describe. Now, there are certain people out there – certain very interested, very powerful people – who want to see that things stay that way. Now, I don’t want to name names and drag somebody’s reputation through the mud, but the last person who suggested I was wearing hair gel … well, lets just say that he won’t be running McLaren for much longer.”

  20. JS: See that car over there Max…. Just went out for a drive and went so fast my face nearly fell off.

  21. “Watch out, there’s an angry mob of unfunded drivers waving pitchforks headed this way”

  22. The way you’re going, you’ll still be here finishing in Melbourne, they’ll already be there in Malaysia ready on the grid.

  23. David not Coulthard (@)
    18th January 2014, 12:09

    So, Max, this is how one rides a motorcycle when taking the Parabolica.

  24. Ask your dad whether he can buy you a new F1 law where you start way ahead over there.

  25. Surtees – (points) “So its THAT bloody idiot over there who keeps on voting for you in DOTW polls Max!”

  26. “Try bikes, son”

  27. Chilton: “Wow, after all these years he still got plenty of fire in his belly. Wish I had a fraction of that..” [places hand on stomach]

  28. I tried doing a bollywood dance just like this! But Vijay said he still wouldn’t consider giving you a drive.

  29. Chris (@tophercheese21)
    18th January 2014, 12:24

    Surtees: “… and what exactly do you do with this ‘hair-gel’?”.

  30. So, you say the cash machine is just over there Max ?

  31. Sorry Max, the GP2 paddock is over there!

  32. Young man, would you mind getting me a cold drink from that fridge over there?

    1. a Redbull? ;)

    2. hahaha, best one so far

  33. Surtees: Yo, those haters always gonna hate. Don’t you worry about them, they just jelly!

    Chilton: Jelly short for jealous, right? I can’t keep up with your young people’s slang.

  34. JS: “And if you get your knee down into turns 1 and 2, you might just get an edge over Jules”

  35. Look my boy, first of all you win on 2 wheels and then you go to four

  36. John Surtees deep in conversation with the son of Aon’s former vice-chairman Grahame Chilton.

  37. I’m nearly 80 you know. Yes, next month I think.

  38. “Remember to turn the limiter OFF when you leave the pitlane!”

  39. JS: And here is a list of all your greatest achievements:
    1. Finish every race in a season
    2. Appear in a caption competition
    3. Err…

  40. There’s the door kid. F1 isn’t for you. Go get a job in a bank somewhere.

  41. John: You brake here – watch my right arm – and I braked there – watch my left arm – in the 1960s. Anything in your defence?

  42. MC: “Mr. Surtees, I am really strong, wanna feel my abs?”
    JS: “What?! Get the fudge out!”

  43. Surtees: ‘Even my dance moves are better than your driving.’

  44. “So Max, your performance is represented by my right hand and Jules performance by my left, notice the difference?”

  45. Surtees: hey Tom Daly, the diving board is over there.

  46. Surtees: Stop going on about how many races you’ve finished in last place, no one cares appart from you! Now when you finish up there with the real drivers you might earn some respect, until then be quiet or I’ll get your daddy to cut your allowance!

  47. Surtees: See that
    Chilton: My teammate?
    Surtees: That’s talent
    Chilton: I think his name is Jules
    Surtees: Yes, but he’s got talent, you don’t, so get out of here

  48. Surtees – “…. and all the way at the back, there you were”

  49. “Son, keep driving as well as you did last year and I expect you to win just 1 championship less than I did!”

  50. Quick Max! They’re not looking! Get a head-start!

  51. JS: “In the event of a crash, emergency exits are located here, here and here.

  52. …And thats where the kids go.

  53. “That there is what happens when you go fast and crash. Now keep on going slowly.”

  54. OmarR-Pepper (@)
    18th January 2014, 15:38

    boy, what’s your name again? CASH Chilton?

    1. Max: “My name’s not T. Chilton – I think you must’ve confused me with Tom”
      John: “Marussia obviously wrote your name down wrong, look it says Tax Chilton”
      Max: “Are you trying to say my money comes from the government?”

  55. When i was your age Max i used to start there, at the front of the grid

  56. *whispers* – “Max.. don’t move until the music starts again”

  57. – “No, the track goes THIS way!”
    – “Oh, you should have told me that last year!”

  58. “Are you alright sir? …… Sir?”

  59. ‘You see that finish line…? The idea is to reach that before the other drivers’

  60. Now go down to the shop a pick up that expensive seat you just bought !

  61. …and with the new Ferrari engine, you’ll actually arrive down there at turn 1 before supper.

  62. – Hurry Max! they’re already gone!

  63. … Yes, I did it on two wheels too, like that!

  64. 19…20…21 drivers with more talent than you Max

  65. It suddenly strikes Tom Chilton what age he’ll be before he wins a race in Formula 1.

  66. ‘Open up this pit.’

  67. “That over there is Fernando, he’s faster than you”

  68. JS: So I should pay that guy over there for the test driver seat?

  69. JS (as lightning shoots from his hands): “Feel the power of the dark side!”

  70. JS: Those Mexicans and Venezuelans are buying all the seats in F1
    MC: Not while I’m still around

  71. Look Max, they have 20% off for a Caterham seat.

  72. “That’s the man who touched me”

  73. “This is the Ferrari garage. Your garage is over there…”

  74. Max is just thrilled that the aging potion he made from Surtees’ DNA has worked on Jules a treat.

  75. Straight that way then take a Left then a right then a left straight for a bit then a left …

  76. Surtees – Look at all that talent on the other end of the grid.

  77. Max, the racers’ washrooms are right below us here and the pay drivers’ washrooms are way over there.

  78. I can’t quite understand it Max, pretty much every start, you’re still here when the rest of the field is way up there!

  79. JS: “The thing out there is called a track, that’s where you have to do the talking, not in front of these new fangled camera thingeys.”

  80. Look Max…way back there, that’s where you’ll be starting every race from.

  81. heres JUles…and here’s you

  82. JS: Hey, if your’e one man short I’m as ready as ever!

  83. Surtees: That my boy is a race track. You drive very fast on it. Not what you have been doing in the past year… Kids of today. Jeepaz!

  84. As you can see, the track is there.

  85. JS: C’mon now, revv up and show them your’e Mad Max!

  86. JS: Hell, I’ll drive in circles around a Marussia with my old Honda.

  87. JS: “This my boy is called the racing line. You actually have to stay on it to have a chance of getting round the track before we’re all at Interlagos 2014, never mind 2013…”

  88. JS: Max you can do better than Massa over at Ferrari when a seat becomes available.

  89. And that Max is called the podium.

  90. The guy that took my glasses went that way!!!!…. No wait i got them in my hand.

  91. And the last time Renault brought out a turbo engine it was called the yellow teapot!

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