Caption Competition 45: Massa and Symonds

Caption Competition

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After almost a decade in red it’s a new look for Felipe Massa this year as he switches to the deep blue tones of Williams.

For the first time ever in his F1 career he is being powered by a motor other than a Ferrari, and he has a new chief technical officer in Pat Symonds.

What did the pair have to say to each other after teaming up at Williams for the first time? That’s for you to decide in our latest Caption Competition.

Post your funniest suggestion below and a selection of the best will appear in the next F1 Fanatic round-up.

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Image © Williams/LAT

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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147 comments on “Caption Competition 45: Massa and Symonds”

  1. “In this team, you push the pedal on the right when you see a red car in your mirrors!”

    1. Hehehe.. While a Marussia trying to lap the Williams? :P

    2. Hehe good one!

    3. Very nice one.

  2. Symonds: “So you know the drill, you pit then right after Bottas puts it into the wall at turn 17”
    Massa: “Will this work?”
    Symonds: “For you yes, for me… probably not”

    1. Symonds: “Just rmember to tell them your name is Witness X”

    2. You meant to pit before the crash.

  3. PS: Now, you make sure you crash just as the enter the pit straight in Singapore

  4. David Williams
    8th February 2014, 11:06

    Basically Fellipe, same as ever, you move aside and let Bo77as through. Any questions?

  5. “You should be glad to be here, at the red team you’d be driving a vaccum cleaner…”

    1. “… and obviously is much better to drive a hanging penis instead of a vacuum cleaner…”

  6. There’s no crane there so it’s alright to cause an accident there, especially if there’s a pesky red car nearby!

    1. @craig-o Ah, I pity the drivers of the Marussias.. :P

  7. “Its pretty much the same, Bottas is faster than you”

  8. Look Felipe how many more times, its Sir Frank not Si Franco!!!!!!!!

  9. “You’re still Number Two here though.”

  10. “It was all Alonso’s fault”

    You can decided which one is saying it.

    1. “It was me..”

    2. 2 guys who hate alonso the most working together.

  11. Chris (@tophercheese21)
    8th February 2014, 11:22

    Symonds: “I hope you feel at home here, so, was that a good impression of a Yorkshire accent?”

  12. “I posed for the nose design.”

    1. “Braggart.”

  13. Symonds: it appears my right index finger has morphed into my thumb.

  14. Felipe Baby, Stay Cool and crash into that wall

  15. Symonds: “there you have it, now get over it!”

  16. Symonds: “…and when you see Fernando behind you, just press that button to release the banana peels…”

    1. It’s great! :D

  17. PS: …and Flavio forced me to tell Nelsinho to crash… I had no choice.
    FM: …and I’m Mickey Mouse.

  18. I don’t care if you told everyone you won’t let him pass. When you get the blue flag, you let him pass.

  19. Ok Felipe. We do things a bit different here. If somehow you out-qualify bottas, we won’t break your gearbox.

  20. Pat Symonds : No No , I cannot call you Felipe baby . That is out of the question .

  21. “Frank’s already said no.”

  22. “I’ve worked with a Brazilian driver before. It didn’t end well.”

  23. Symonds: “Definitely full throttle on the exit of the corner, else the car won’t spin.”

  24. “What does your dad know about the legal system? He’s not famous, is he?”

  25. Felipe, did you know that with the double points rule you would have been the 2008 WDC ?

  26. Symonds: “I repeat you, that I don’t owe you a title.”

  27. I told you I am getting you a NEW baby sitter! Rob will be busy looking after Frank this year.

  28. Pat: So, we are going to have a new engineer for you, no Rob Smedley.
    Felipe : You always do this. First you took away my win in Singapore and now you take away Rob.

  29. We got a new LCD screen for you steering wheel so Rob can send you love hearts during the race.

  30. Pat: Here’s the plan Felipe, you crash, SC is out, Valtierri wins, simple.
    Felipe: But Pat, aren’t I the team leader?
    Pat: Oh, yes, team leader…

  31. “I apologise, Felipe, for my Singapore-ling behaviour in 2008.”

  32. “And that’s why Fernando was faster than you.”

  33. Massa: “I heard that you guys have a special retirement package for us Brazilians.”
    Symonds: “Never mind that!”

    1. Brilliant!

  34. I know it’s hard to believe but we really do want you to pass Alonso if you get a chance.

  35. Look, Felipe, this is your car. No more the red one!

  36. Symonds: “Your taking Pastor’s place so youvegot a lotto live up to son”
    Massa: “mmhmm”

  37. Pat Symonds: You put your foot down, even if Alonso’s faster
    Felipe Massa: Ok?………might take me some time to get use to that…..

  38. PS : “No Felipe, that color, stays. You can’t have the car in Red.”

  39. Symons: – When I said to Frank he needs a “brazilian”, I wasn’t referring about a driver!

    1. or Symonds: – This is not the “brazilian” I was think about!

      1. Or, I said Gazillion, but Frank thought I said Brazillian.

        1. Hehe.. Superb @hohum

          1. Credit to @lucien_todutz,who came up with the idea but is probably restricted by having English as a second language. a final revision;
            I told Frank that if we wanted to win we would need a gazilian, Frank must have thought I said Brazillian.”

          2. +1 :)) funny… anyway I was thinking of the Brazilian wax-job :))

          3. A final revision too:

            – When I told Frank to get a “Brasilian”, I wasn’t thinking of a driver!

  40. ”So then we told Nelson to crash so Fernando could get ahead and in the ensuing chaos you lost the points that would have won you the Championship….Yeah, sorry about that. Can we be friends now?”

  41. “Nobody told you? Here at Williams you need to bring your own lunch.”

  42. Pat: “If you pull my finger, it activates the MERS.”
    Felipe: *pulls Pat’s finger* “MERS?”
    Pat: “Methane Energy Recovery Sys-FRRRRRRRRRRRRT!”

    1. Pat: “If you poke me with your index finger you’ll activate the NARS”
      Felipe: “NARS?”
      Pat: “Nelsinho’s Accident-Ready Singapore GP”

  43. Symonds: “If Fernando comes from behind, make sure he doesn’t suck you in otherwise you’ll have to make him crash, in the same way Flavio and I made Nelsoninho crash in Singapore”

    1. Nelsinho*

  44. “Felipe, dw, I won’t ask another Brazilian to crash on purpose”

  45. PS: “You put on that strap-on right now!”

    1. (Refering to the Topgear comments on the nose)

  46. The problem with Pastor was that he would only crash into other cars, but I know you Brazilians are different…

  47. “So basically your job is to support Bottas”

  48. …so he said that if you were to drive for a different team nobody would suspect a thing…

  49. David not Coulthard (@)
    8th February 2014, 14:28

    Crash the car at Silverstone’s pit entry and let Bottas win, please!1

  50. Even Flavio is joining Wiiliams, oh here he comes !!

  51. No. That’s Frank’s wheelchair… And it’s not the ‘new noses’ either …

  52. Are you fine if I add an Austin Powers accent to “Felipe Baby”?

  53. Symonds – “Cheer up Felipe, and forget about Singapore…. just pull my finger”

  54. So I told him, “Pastor, you’re fired!

    1. Haha!! That’s brilliant :D

  55. Lotus-Grosjean
    8th February 2014, 15:48

    See this finger? That’s how we get the idea of our finger nose.

  56. – “To overtake a car, you can push our new secret button: the horn !”
    – “What’s… the… ?”

  57. Symonds: I don’t want to hear you saying ‘for sure’ one more time.

  58. …then a got too close to the guy doing the welding, and LOOK what happened to my hand!

  59. It wasn’t me!

  60. …and then you squeeze hard!

  61. Massa: Do you have any plans to end my win-less streak?
    Symonds: Let me see. Give me some time.
    Massa: I guess you would get back to me before Singapore GP?

  62. I don’t give a darn what you did on that other team this is what we do here got it!

  63. For this year, you know, we don’t have to produce another Crashgate to win something. Tell Fernando who is faster!

  64. I had nothing to do with it. However, if you ever speak of this again, Felipe, there will be consequences.

  65. FM: Did I tell you about the time when I lost the 2008 title because someone… erm, never mind…

  66. “So you will crash at this corner so that Valtteri can win the race.”

  67. Symonds – “no its not the first time I’ve worked for Frank he once let me set the front suspension up on Rubens car a few years back you remember ?

  68. “Wait a minute, YOU’RE Felipe Massa? Aw, I wanted the Spanish one.”

  69. No you cant have a photo shot with Kiss!!!

  70. dont come here with that ferrari stuff, you hear me? this is williams and here we are backmarkers!

    1. Ahahahaaaaa

  71. Hey Felipe , up for episode 2 of crashgate, Fernando wont know when you will be 2 minutes behind him

  72. Felipe: My goodness, it is freezing in here! Can we get some temperature in here?
    Symonds: Don’t worry Felipe, I heard Force India couldn’t find any in Hungary last year in scorching temperatures, you’ll be fine
    Felipe: That sent chills down my spine…

  73. Actually, there’s just one little requirement, now that we have Mercedes engines you’ll have to pull over for Hamilton and Rosberg.

    1. Ahahha ! Awesome ! Get used to being NO.3 now, Felipe Baby ! Ahaha

  74. wax on wax off

  75. symmonds: obi wan never told you what happened to your father

  76. No, Kimi likes his with just a dash of sprinkles

  77. Fellipe, my finger and thumb are stuck together, Bottas thinks its funny to put superglue on my pen, dont worry son , hes going to be doing any crashing this season I tell you

  78. “Relax, Massa. Here we don´t make team orders…”

  79. PS:You see, here you only get one chance.Don’t forget to press on the accelorator when you see a red car,be it Ferrari or Marussia.
    FM:I’ll try but seriously those Marussias are quick!

  80. The good days are OVER, capisce ?!? Get used to die fighting for P16 ! Ahahahaaaa

  81. “Keep your big mouth SHUT, or you’ll exit F1 through the toilet window !”

  82. “Dude, you wouldn’t have had qualified even to fill with fuel Senna’s car !”

  83. “I’m the thinker around here, got it ?”

  84. Don’t worry Pat I don’t blame you for your part in losing the 2008 world championship for me…

  85. “You did bring money, right?”

  86. Look Felipe your barking up the wrong tree, me and Flavio didn’t take the world title from you in 08. It was your dodgy fuel rig’s fault! . . . OK!

  87. NO Felipe. It stays blue!

  88. “For the last time Felipe, we’re not gonna paint’em red, ok?

  89. “Be honest Felipe… Did you give the car Viagra?”

  90. PS: Now, if the red car tries to pass, you ram it into wall

  91. On our cars there’s a button marked “Overtake”

  92. “I’m the true victim here I was promised i’d keep my job if I did it”

  93. PS:”Felipe baby, it was the other rig’s fault.

  94. No body said we can’t have a “Massa” Damper System in the car so…

  95. Attakorn Saiyasombat
    9th February 2014, 1:36

    PS: So…was he faster in bed too? Or just on the track?

  96. The moment Felipe realized why Pat was fond of Brazillian drivers…

  97. Jack (@jackisthestig)
    9th February 2014, 7:05

    “Before you start, Nelson crashed because I told him to. What was your excuse in that race?”

  98. Jack (@jackisthestig)
    9th February 2014, 7:17

    “… and if that doesn’t work we’ll try the setup we snuck onto Pastor’s car in America last season.”

  99. Jack (@jackisthestig)
    9th February 2014, 7:19

    “You don’t actually pronounce the 77 in the middle of Valterri’s surname Felipe!”

  100. In this team, I only show the finger.

  101. No doughnuts this year Filipe, it’ll made the car look like a dog trying to sniff his own crotch!

    1. Haha! Finally the winner! @me4me

  102. Welcome to the Brazilian retirement home Felipe!! Now get to work and earn that pension!

  103. And when you push that button all hell breaks loose

  104. No Felipe, the Williams motto in Latin is WIHURI ATCH then Experian KEMPPI, not KEMPPI Experian. Your way would make us a one-rooster team and not in your favour, but I can understand your confusion.

  105. Ok Felipe. Lap 14, turn 17. Understand?

  106. Felipe does not look amused when Pat Symmonds informs him that his physical this year will involve a prostate examination.

  107. “So I was like, ‘Pull my finger…'”

  108. Accidents happen… Although my side job is selling premium use, slightly used and damaged formula 1 parts. I can hook you up.

  109. Pat – “it was all Flavio, Nelson and Fernando, i had nothing to do with piquets crash ok?”

  110. “You’d have been word champion if the team order would not have been respected in Singapore…But I m not saying ;-)”

  111. “The middle button is the horn – use this when passing as no one will be expecting to be overtaken by a Williams!”

  112. “I farted this morning what did you do?”

  113. Massa: Pat.. Is there any good cafe’s here(Grove)?
    Pat: !!! I didn’t get it, U asked Cafe or Car?
    Massa: Yes Cafe….
    Pat: (Angrily) If we failed this season, we may start one next year ‘Williams Cafe’..

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