Fernando Alonso, McLaren, Autodromo Hermanos Rodriguez, 2015

Caption Competition 89: Fernando Alonso

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It’s been a season to forget for Fernando Alonso following his return to McLaren, but he hasn’t stopped trying to find solutions to his car’s lack of pace.

What was he looking for on his timing screen in Mexico? That’s for you to decide.

Fernando Alonso, McLaren, Autodromo Hermanos Rodriguez, 2015

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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  • 114 comments on “Caption Competition 89: Fernando Alonso”

    1. Ron, is this visual data transference interface negatively impacting my vehicular drag coefficient?

    2. “Maybe I can use the change button to change my team.”

      1. We’ve got a winner!

        1. Fudge Ahmed (@)
          21st November 2015, 12:36

          +1 had to zoom in to see he’s actually about to tap the change button! Very good :)

          1. Thanks guys… Office has provided huge Full HD monitors… Of course, this wasn’t the intended purpose… :D :D

            1. Believe it or not, I still have an old CRT monitor at my workplace…

      2. File > Change > Teams. ;)

    3. VLC – Playback – Playback Speed: 1.25x

      1. Chris (@tophercheese21)
        22nd November 2015, 7:11

        This and nothing else!

    4. When’s the next train from Mexico City to Madrid Atocha? I might as well book in advance and save some money!

    5. “Wait guys, is it swipe to erase”

    6. Alonso still hadn’t got used to looking for his name lower down on the timing screens…

    7. *Right click…Cut ‘Alonso’…Right click…Paste ‘Alonso’*

    8. Right click – Display session times – Change year – 2005

    9. Are you sure you want to quit this session? All unsaved progress will be lost.

      1. Brilliant!

    10. ‘Enable McLaren updates’

      1. i think we have a winner!

    11. Quit-> Settings-> Star New Season-> Select Team-> Mercedes

    12. McLaren are testing a faster way of changing engines during a GP weekend.

    13. Let me use this opportunity to seconds to change my order Jack Daniels in Red Bull

    14. If I click here is there a way of getting full Internet not just Ceefax?

    15. Change my settings , I want more wings, this seems to work well with Kvyat

    16. I think I’ve solved the problem…….We’re using Internet Explorer !!

    17. Places I would like to be : I’ll change my name to Kvyat

    18. joder!!.. I think I saw my name there

    19. Alonso does his best Vettel impersonation after arranging to secretly swap cars with Sebastian during the race

      1. Well, to be fair, Alonso probably would have done a heck of a lot better than Vettel that day.

    20. Why are the only team with hours column ?

    21. “So, which menu is Solitare on…”

    22. Alonso trying to uninstall Internet explorer.

    23. Joni (@theflyingfinns)
      21st November 2015, 13:57

      Fernando Alonso struggles to cope with the new timing technology – “I liked it better 10 years ago”

    24. “No I don’t want to update Adobe Acrobat! Why does that always show up?”

    25. Cabby!!?!! I need a cab here please! Taxi!!??! . It’s so hard to find a good ride these days…

    26. I think I ‘ve finally found the problem. Now let’s just look how I can disable the “pit limiter”

    27. Oh no my cpu crashed, please keep away Pastor!

    28. “Hey, look, Ron! I was 15th in sector two. Ok, ok, I’ll stop harassing you when you give me a decent car!”

    29. Change -> Top Speed -> Mph to Kph
      What, this was already in Kph? [Censored by FOM]

    30. “Fernando phone home!”

    31. Thats the place they have promised me if i would sign the contract…see, over there

    32. Will this “Change” menu Option Get me my Ferrari seat back from Vettel ?

    33. Tap to switch to GP2 results

      1. Hehe, oh you cheeky.. ;)

      2. Fantastic.

    34. “Where do you think is best spot to park the car?”

    35. FA: Ok guys, I’ve selected the ‘Change’ option next to to Kvyat’s name, that means I now get his seat and P1, right?
      Engineer: Fernando, I think you’ve been out in the sun for too long!

    36. “Where is the Samurai Quote generator?”

    37. Nick (@theawesomefish)
      21st November 2015, 16:47

      “Your Honda RA615H Hybrid Power Unit has encountered a problem and needs to shut down.”

    38. Internet Explorer Error: The engine you are looking for could not be found.

    39. Huston………… we have a problem!

    40. What Da?! My Tag Heuer is gone! Kvyat!

    41. Alonso setting up his 2016 campaign.

      “Your equipment does not match the minimum requirements to play, you may experience high latency”

      1. +1. Should add “may experience high latency or unstable performance in-game”

    42. Alonso’s secret plan of programing his McLaren-Honda with a Virtual Racing Car, which projected a virtual car onto the race track, almost worked. Everyone was so busy watching the incredible “New McLaren-Honda-Ferrari-Red Bull” passing the Mercedes cars though they were GP2 cars that no one noticed he was actually sitting in a deck chair on the side of the track until the Virtual Safety Car appeared, at which point the illusion was exposed.

    43. 1st.. I’d have that Ferrari there right now.. Argh!

    44. Where do I find the Saturday afternoon UV index for Sao Paolo?

    45. Use ctrl-alt-delete to reset season

    46. Push button to change engine.

    47. Oh mi God! Vettel was faster than me, again…

    48. What do you mean you can’t delete rows like in Excel?

    49. Why are you showing me the GP2 times?

    50. 1) “Pointing to the top of the browser is as close as I will get to the top of the grid for now”

      2) “Pointing at the top driver is the new voodoo curse”

      3) “I want to drive in that car”

    51. At least internet explorer is still slower.

    52. “Changing teammate in progress.”
      Reason: “Cannot beat teammate”.

      1. Says who? I hate people who use what is meant to be a funny caption contest to have a go at drivers.

    53. Don’t mean to be over nostalgic lads and mean by repeating this every race, but I remember the days when my name appeared up there.

    54. “Sorry, insufficient kudos to upgrade engine. Need one more season.”

    55. Sort by name, alphabetical.

      Hey guys look, I’m winning!

    56. Load File from… > Email Folder > Sender: Pedrodelarosa “Highly confidential: Check this out!!!” > Mercedes 2015 Car setup.exe

    57. Look Ron, this is the happiest place to be !

    58. Is this the last place?

    59. Fern is looking for good horror movies to improve the teams mood and performance.

    60. Where is the karma button I want to see how much karma I have.

    61. Update engine.exe

    62. “Where did I saved De la Rosa’s and Coughlan’s e-mails again?”

    63. Mclaren Honda?

      swipe left.

      1. lol. beat me to it!

    64. Gee Ron, this is the same timing screen you gave me in 2007 and it still doesn’t work.

    65. “Lets see if I can change the difficulty level.”

    66. Let’s see, where am I? 8,9,10… What?! I have to rearrange this grid now!

    67. Look, the lawn chair was only .01 sec slower on the straights!

    68. Fernando’s psychic steering wheel tells him whether he’ll score points this weekend.

    69. “I can’t scroll down far enough to see my time!”

    70. Alonso: Where’s the camping chair option?

      Engineer: Fernando, get out, we have an energy recovery problem.

    71. I’m a celebrity, get me out of here.

    72. So if I take 2.5 seconds off of my time then… I win again, yes!

    73. “I’ll maybe find my laptime on the GP2 page.”

    74. In order to watch something positive Alonso is trying to change the black background into the picture of him and Button on the podium.

    75. Changing to GP2 …. NOW !

    76. In despair Alonso is pressing for change!

    77. “I want a cheese burger, fries And a Vainilla Shake to go, please “

    78. Lets change the rules. Mexican Pampalona please.

    79. There it is! The missing 2.5 seconds!

    80. Alonso sends his latest email:
      “Dear Santa, this year please bring me 3 seconds a lap and some touchscreen gloves.
      From Fernando, age 34.”

    81. ‘Damn, these menus are so small. When are we upgrading to Windows 10?’

    82. “settings/invert grid”


    84. Alonso “no I’m looking for the undo button”

    85. Fernando Alonso is puzzled because the TAG Heuer wallpaper no longer appears in the options

    86. Even Alonso’s car said No for changing the engine during the Mexican GP weekend.

    87. “See Ron, right here, same trap speed as GP2”

    88. File-> Change Timing -> ALO 1:28.745 to ALO 1:23.345 -> Send to Race Director -> Finally take part in Q3

    89. Time to switch to solitaire for Q3

    90. “FA phone home” (on E.T style)

    91. Alonso: “can we hack the computer to put us in first place?”

    92. “My name should be here Ron, even Abba knew I was awesome 😉”

    93. We should race one lap less since we started engine development late

    94. ‘If I break down in turn 4 there is a marshals post with a nice deck chair’

    95. JoAnne Meichtry
      27th November 2015, 12:36

      Now, I wonder if I can get the weather on this thing?!?

    96. Y.Srinivasa Reddy
      29th November 2015, 15:58

      when this statistics will improve

    Comments are closed.