Daniil Kvyat, 2016

Caption Competition 103: Daniil Kvyat

Caption Competition

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Daniil Kvyat is shown the controls for a special Red Bull bobsleigh prior to his home grand prix in Russia last week.

Can you come up with the best caption for this picture? Post your funniest suggestion in the comments below.

A selection of the best will feature in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic Round-up.

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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  • 142 comments on “Caption Competition 103: Daniil Kvyat”

    1. Kvyat’s career was always going to go downhill from here…

      1. ColdFly F1 (@)
        7th May 2016, 12:13

        spot on – well done.

      2. Sanki Sliding in Sochi

    2. Kvyat trying the disappearing act from a RedBull machine. Perfected in 4 days.

    3. Kvyat was absolutely certain that he could still see Vettel in front of him when they fitted the new aeroscreen.

    4. “another crash and we’re gonna put you in this for good”

    5. Hello darkness my old friend

    6. Vettel preferred the Halo to Kvyat’s new aeroscreen…

    7. “What a cool machine, if only I could find a way to stop the team from keeping me from participating in other events.”

    8. ColdFly F1 (@)
      7th May 2016, 12:16

      So, the guy at the back will take care of the braking?

      1. +1 (nicked my answer)

      2. Haha, well played.

    9. “Gives you Wings? …. Clips your wings, more like !!! “

    10. “Another incident and this will your vehicle for the rest of the year”.

    11. “Be careful of the thin ice at turn 1 and 2.”

    12. Kvyat begins to get desperate to find a seat for next year.

    13. Kvyat already on thin ice at Red Bull ahead of the Sochi GP.

    14. Daniil: “You’re telling me I don’t brake? Understood. I’ll keep that in mind.”

    15. This is where you launch torpedo.

    16. “What’s this for?
      “That’s the brake, Daniil.”
      “The what?”
      “Never mind.”

    17. So you’re sure this time machine is programmed for 1996? Where do I enter Jos’ old address?

      1. Omar R (@omarr-pepper)
        7th May 2016, 13:29

        Hahaha for me the best one!!

      2. Ah you’d thought of a time machine type joke.. nice!

    18. Hints that Red Bull didn’t consider Kyvat as one of their top drivers anymore showed well before the race in Sotchi, when the team unveiled what would have been the Russian’s own aeroscreen for 2017.

    19. “Xevi, how strong is the nose on this thing?”

    20. Leonard Ayres
      7th May 2016, 12:51

      ‘ok! I see the Bathroom, the lounge, and the bar. But where’s the steering wheel?’

    21. It was at this point that Kyvat had his first clues about Red Bull’s driver demotion program.

    22. Engineer, “Mmm..let me check Dani if your foot is correctly placed on the brake pedal.”

    23. Kvyat opened to reveal smaller Kvyat inside, Toro Rosso spokesperson says further openings may follow until he struggles to reach the pedals.

      1. Ha ha ha ha ha. Class.

    24. There is nobody in front of you so you won’t need brakes

    25. “Red Bull explore their we-can-swap-drivers-around-policy to a ridiculous extend.”

    26. Lee Porcelli
      7th May 2016, 13:19

      Marko says that this will help with your confidence and that it is many ways a promotion.

    27. Mr Kvyat: Mr Marko arranged this little metaphor to illustrate how fast your career will bomb downhill if you don’t astonish him at Toro Rosso…

    28. “Sorry, that’s Max’s seat. You’ll have to sit in the back.”

    29. “Marko said this move was made to relieve the pressure on you Daniil. Is it working?”

    30. Omar R (@omarr-pepper)
      7th May 2016, 13:39

      And just straight ahead, it’s Faenza. You can’t miss it.

    31. Ripudaman Thind
      7th May 2016, 13:42

      No no that’s not an ejector seat! Now sit tight!!

    32. “But why is there a photo of Max on the steering wheel?”

    33. Kvyat gets that sinking feeling

    34. “…and this button activates the heatseeking sensor, so you can aim this torpedo at someone’s exhaust…”

    35. So Daniil, this is your time machine. Make sure you don’t bump into Vettel on your way back to 2:59 pm Sunday, 1st May 2016…

    36. No Helmut? I like it!

    37. Danny Kvyat is moulding his 2017 seat.

    38. After getting little response on his request to Putin to start WWIII if he loses his seat he tries to get to terms with his new situation. Also his suggestion to the marketing department that the new slogan should be “Red Bull kicks ass” is rejected.

    39. Red Bull offers Kvyat a place for contemplation in solitude.

    40. This torpedo is called BobsleighMcSleighFace and has been loaned to you by Putin. Don’t crash it under any circumstances or you’ll be put inside BoatyMcBoatFace.

    41. So I don’t need to use the brake until after I finish the race?

    42. Engineer: you cant pass the other bobslieghs, its strictly 1 at a time.

      Kvyat: I can pass anyone. You watch the first corner, see what happens….

    43. “Don’t worry, Daniil. This bobsleigh definitely is not a metaphor for your career. Off you go!”

    44. “What does this button do?”
      “That’s the automatic meldonium dispenser, we use it to get that extra boost at the start. It’s great but it also slows down reaction time”
      “interesting…”

    45. So I have to go 88mph to get back to 1996

    46. This is the hole we are going to drop you into after the race-take a good look!

    47. Paul (@frankjaeger)
      7th May 2016, 15:35

      Feel the Red Bull, Feel the rhythm, Give it up now, it’s demotion time!

    48. Sergey Martyn
      7th May 2016, 15:47

      This torpedo is too big. Should I drive it alone or with Ricciardo? Or maybe Max and Carlos will join us in that bobsled too?

    49. Sorry DK but Seb suggested this to Christian and the next thing you know…

    50. “…and here are the brakes, not that you use them.”

    51. Eng: “Don’t worry, you get a clear track in this, Vettel is not going be there this time”.

    52. Kvyat gets a torpedo for his birthday present

    53. So the buttons on the steering wheel are pit confirm, drs, ejector seat…

    54. “Is that a vodka you are hiding? Better be the last time or you go back to Ferrari power.”
      “Naahhh… Christian won’t go that far.”

    55. “Don’t worry Daniil, Dr Marko fixed the brakes personally.”

    56. Where RB wanted Kvyat to crash.

    57. “This one will finish Sebastian.”

    58. …and in 2 years, you can drive for Redbull again at the winter games

    59. Kvyat torpedoed out of Red Bull

    60. JamarkoIcan bobsled team

    61. nuff people say they know they can’t believe,
      Red Bull we have a bobsled team

    62. Levente (@leventebandi)
      7th May 2016, 19:15

      “See? My legs are not reaching the break pedals as in the car. Is this a kind of sabotage Hamilton fans crying about?”

    63. Oh, here… Just a spring from one TagHeuer’s watch! More power than from one Renault’s engine!

    64. “What is this new “eject” button in my wheel, comrade?!”

    65. red bull’s inability to find a competitive engine has led them to propose a radical ruleset for 2017

    66. Due to lack of planning and thinking from FIA and Strategy Group, this is how the car will look like next year.

    67. Pliniolarangeira
      7th May 2016, 20:33

      “Mr. Kvyat, no worries, there won’t be any cars in front of you during the race.”

    68. “… don’t forget this track is very slippery …”.

    69. Daniil, watch the brakes on this thing they work better than your F1 car.

    70. Ferrari are red
      Sauber are blue
      If you crash again
      This will be you

      1. WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    71. It’s designed to be as sleek and aerodynamic as possible, it can really take off, it’s a lot like a torpedo.

    72. U see Danyl, with this u crash only once.

    73. Yes Dany, that’s the brake, but you don’t need to use it, you’re safe around here!

    74. Kvyat gets told the disheartening news that he’ll have to drive the Toro Rosso bobsleigh from now on.

    75. This is the punishment transfer way of the Red Bull machine… the unique in the Formula 1.

    76. Carlos Furtado Neves
      7th May 2016, 21:41

      “No steering wheel??? Ok. I will keep that in mind!!!”

    77. Brace yourself for the acceleration Danyl, it’s a lot more than you are used to.

    78. “If your gonna throw your career down the tubes, this is how you steer”

    79. After driving a Red Bull, Kvyat complains the Toro Rosso handles like a sled.

    80. “Um…why are all the controls in Spanish?”

    81. You’ll be the only one on the track so try not to crash into Vettel!!

    82. Some feel that the FIA’s proposals for reduced downforce and mechanical grip have gone too far.

    83. Kvyat’s seat fitting for the Russian Grand Prix. No wonder why he couldn’t see Vettel twice in front of him. Come on Red Bull!

    84. Daniil in the stripped down STR10 with the 3 leftover engineers that Dr.Helmut Marko has ready for him for the rest of the season.

    85. Daniil improvises to get a seat in a Red Bull for Spain

    86. “I heard the Toro Rosso was a step back, but this is ridiculous!”

    87. Relax Daniil, there won’t be any other sleds on the track.

    88. Amazon product number 10074664335. Excess driver storage pod. Can be supplied with you logo for a small additional fee. Can be shipped to all territories including Russia.

    89. So Daniil we’ve just got to put Helmut in the back with you and if you ruin the run, he’s got a knife ready for some stabbing.

    90. Dani ” So did you install the Seb tracker in there?”
      Engineer ” Yep all set ;) “

    91. Brett Rourke
      8th May 2016, 3:09

      “Oh that button there? That will send you back in time 2 years… Don’t press that one Danii”

    92. In bobsledding Danil we don’t crash here.

    93. Daniil felt immediately at home having been told he doesn’t need the brakes until the end of the race.

    94. “Now we show them what a torpedo really looks like” (sponsored by Putin)

    95. Kvyat: “How do we activate this Torpedo”
      Engineer: *whilst patting his back* “Only you my son … … … only you!”

    96. “But brakes in Russia are illegal.”

    97. We’re just going to test if you can go down a slippery slope as quickly as your F1 career.

    98. “Just a heads up Daniil, screw up the race on Sunday and this photo will definitely be the Caption Competition on F1 Fanatic”

    99. Danil gets to test his 2017 spec Redbull

    100. Following his demotion, Kvyat is suprised to find himself undertaking a seat fitting for his secondary role as the new Red Bull Aeroscreen ‘Crash Test Dummy’

      His only comment to the waiting media was ‘I could not see anything’

    101. Red Bull were hoping that Kvyat would slip up

    102. Ecclestone and his bull….

      When WEC went from open top to closed top, was the racing ruined? Did fans leave the sport? Was there outrage? Omg it is to safe now!

      That is just crazy. Cars are safe, could they be safer? Also true, should safety feature be introduced if good design is avaliable, yes.

      Will funs run away from the sport? Not for this reason we wont. Remember when new noses were introduced, 2012 or so? We complained about the looks for long time but we watched it anyway.

      Now when we see artificial racing (DRS, Tires), or watching the race is hard to do(paywall), and finally greatly unfair commercial regulations… These are reasons why fans abandon the sport.

      I bet noone abandoned F1 because cockpits were raised by the sides of driver head. Did anyone complain when roll hoops were improved?

      If head can be protected better… Do it. People will complain about other things in notime.

      Speaking of designs, Mercedes renders of head protection concepts were beautiful. Ferrari and Red Bull concepts need work, but atleast teams are trying something. Accepting a safety hazard, because it is the DNA… Please.

    103. Daniil on thin ice!

    104. I’ll show Vettel a mad man in a torpedo

    105. This one doesn’t have steering or brakes, just like you ordered Daniil !

    106. Manan (@mananbond007)
      8th May 2016, 11:53

      Engg: Daniil, a little secret, you could soon be driving a Ferrari car.
      Daniil: Cool. So can I play “Knock knock, who’s there” with Vettel?

    107. Those guys behind you? Oh, they’re your new power unit.

    108. Jaime Engstrom
      8th May 2016, 13:20

      Dani these control the steering and just remember that your teammate does the breaking…..

      1. RP (@slotopen)
        9th May 2016, 1:48

        Normally breaking would be the wrong word. But for Kvyat breaking and braking are the same.thing.

    109. “As you can see, Dany, the controls are quite a bit simpler than what you are used to in your F1 car. You steer by means of these rings here, you don’t have a brake, and there are no other sleighs on the track that you have to watch out for.”

      “I like this already.”

    110. C’mon guys, gimme a brake!

    111. Luke Harrison
      8th May 2016, 18:59

      Dr Marko found an ingenious way of doing a seat fitting without Danill figuring it out.

    112. Red Bull presenting their 2017 low downforce concept

    113. Dani… the lower you get, the less likely people will know it’s you that’s crashed into them!

    114. Kyvatt decided to get a head start start on his seat fitting for 2017.

    115. Ivan Menazes
      9th May 2016, 3:58

      Ok kvyat, its all downhill from here and you will end up in the Torro Rossi garage

    116. Max in the background: DANIIL!!! DANIIL!!!!

      Daniil: OH NO!!! for sure I will be busted if I do not get rid of this Dutch Apple Pie!!!

    117. Daniil – I think I can see some other people in there…Mark Webber, Jean Eric Verne, Jamie Alguesuari…why are they waving to me?

    118. Michael (@freelittlebirds)
      9th May 2016, 14:52

      Dasvidaniya Sochi! Dasvidaniya Red Bull!

    119. ForzaKimi forzaVettel
      9th May 2016, 17:39

      Kvyat sits in the tube his career goes down

    120. But if there’s only one sled on the track at one time…how are you supposed to hit someone?

    121. See? Here there’s no one else in the track with you. You’re gonna do great!

    122. in russia… red bull brakes you!

    123. Kvyat’s RB-12 seemed much bigger after he was cut off at the knees.

    124. Daniil… cold… brakes… anyone?!

    125. “So, why do i have to learn to drive this thing?”
      “Just in case Daniil, just in case. Don’t worry, you will still be a Red Bull driver. We honor our contracts”

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