Caption Competition 72: Webber and Horner

Caption Competition

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Mark Webber interviewed his Christian Horner during the Australian Grand Prix, in his capacity as a reporter for Australian television channel Ten Sport.

What might he have liked to ask his former team principal? Post your funniest suggestion for a caption in the comments below.

A selection of the best will feature in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic Round-up.

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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131 comments on “Caption Competition 72: Webber and Horner”

  1. What do you say, not bad for a number 4 team, eh?

  2. “Is it true you gave an engine from Kvyat to Ricciardo because he destroyed his?”

  3. “So… Christian, how does it feel to be given a car part which is not the best?”

    1. Chris (@tophercheese21)
      21st March 2015, 12:18

      Ha! Win!

    2. AMR (@aiera-music)
      21st March 2015, 13:13


    3. lol, you’ve got my vote!

    4. brilliant!

    5. Win!

    6. Yar, yar goot!

    7. So true…

    8. That is a good one, got my vote haha! Brilliant!

  4. “So what have you won since I was here?”

  5. “So Christian is it true your car is running Windows Vista?”

    1. @runforitscooby So Christian is it true your car is running Windows ME? Arch Testing? A custom GNU/kFreeBSD installation with self-built binaries from soures of Beta/Alpha/pre-alpha software?

      1. @davidnotcoulthard @runforitscooby Not many people would understand this, but I had a good chuckle. Although to add to this very geek tech savvy convo, I’d add:
        “So Christian, how are you going with recompiling the windows NT kernel?”

      2. Duncan Snowden
        23rd March 2015, 17:55

        “Arch Testing”

        No, that’s definitely McLaren. :)

        Um… “Yeah, well, it’s 32-bit without PAE, so…”

  6. Webber: “Payback is a b1t$$ isn’t it!”

  7. CH: Oh, Mark. First DC, now you!

  8. So you’ve gone from being a winner to being a whiner, what does Gerri think about that?

  9. “So Christian you are a man who likes pulling out?”

  10. MW: So, Christian, first Seb-less year set to be like the previous Seb-less year, isn’t it?
    CH: Yeah. For next year though we hope to get the field a bit equalised, for the good of F1.
    MW: That’s a schijt idea.

    Anyway, how’s your attempt at using LLVM to build all the binaries you use on the car’s computers going?
    CH: RIC didn’t like it so his car’s binaries are GCC-built. That means fewer, and thus more archaic, binaries. I hope he doesn’t complain about losing an engine with superior software to KVY and call himself a #2 driver!

  11. Horner: “That’s a number 2 commentator headphones!”

    1. @jeff1s £160 of the best sound you could possibly find. Number one headphones for me by a mile. :)

  12. I think my 919 could do a better job…

  13. MW – Congratulations on your engagement to Geri.
    CH – Thank you Mark
    MW – Is it likely to be a better winning combination than the one you currently have with Renault?

  14. So now “Red Bull Gives You WHINES?”

  15. Hey Christian, welcome to the club. How does it feel to be beaten by Vettel?

    1. Favorite on page one!

  16. ColdFly F1 (@)
    21st March 2015, 12:31

    For Melbourne we decided to go for ‘multi-6-0’, and this time it worked!

  17. MW: So I’ve heared you have turned into a bull in a china shop!

  18. Horner: Mark, any chance we could borrow the engine off your car?
    Webber: Gone are the days you steal from me!
    *Conks mic on Horner’s head, leaves*

  19. pauline lowrey
    21st March 2015, 12:35

    No, we have not changed our name ti Dead Bull

  20. pauline lowrey
    21st March 2015, 12:38

    Well I think we’re still getting married. It’s not just about winning and getting loads of free publicity you know.

  21. pauline lowrey
    21st March 2015, 12:39

    Having becone bored of winning, our apparent demise is in fact a thoroughly well planned strategic exit from the sport.

  22. pauline lowrey
    21st March 2015, 12:46

    How long did it take you to realise that favouring Riciardo last year was the worst decision you’ll ever make?

  23. pauline lowrey
    21st March 2015, 12:51

    Having shot yourself in the foot several times, which is more painful, leaving your long term partner and new baby or loosing the best driver on the grid?

  24. CH: Yes, it’s true, I’m not gonna shave until we win again.

  25. Christian : Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
    Mark : So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
    Christian : I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
    Mark : So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
    Christian I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna make the Fia equal things up.

    1. HAHAHAHA and it really works with the rhythm!!!

    2. If you wannabe my driver, you’ve got to make way/ Vettel will go past you if you want to stay.

    3. Haha! Brilliant!

  26. AMR (@aiera-music)
    21st March 2015, 13:16

    “Sorry about the old headset. Seb accidentally broke his new one at the going-away party.”

  27. MW: Did you really call Renault a snail-engine manufacturer?
    CH: I just pointed out their French heritage.

  28. Yes (@come-on-kubica)
    21st March 2015, 13:35

    As Vettel settles into life at Ferrari, Webber settles into life as a interviewer:

    CH: ‘Not bad for a number two driver.’

  29. “So Christian, what’s it like to finally let an Austalian driver be Number 1 for once?”

    1. Burn!! Nice one!

  30. How does it feel being number two, mate?

  31. Obviously we are pushing hard for equality at the moment, because Renault suck so much and our chassis never let us dominate this easily. So I believe the first steps being taken with Mercedes being forced to take other driver’s into their engineering debriefs is a positive one.
    Aside from that all we can really hope is Renault stop messing everything up, because frankly I hate working with them.

  32. So Christian, is the MULTI 21 working this year ?

  33. Peppermint-Lemon (@)
    21st March 2015, 14:12

    MW: So apart from 100bhp more, what else do you want?

    CH: A zigazig-ah

  34. CH -“The FIA should be as fair and equal to all teams as we were with you and Seb…… Oh wait”

  35. So Christian, you’re telling me that the only reason Seb left was because he loved prog and was not too keen on your girlfriend, especially after arguing with her about whether Relayer, Nursery Cryme, and Brain Salad Surgery were good albums?

  36. Whadda ya say I make you a deal on a lightly used Porsche engine, mate?

  37. So if you keep losing and then Red Bull pull out, you’ll be free to take over from Bernie, is that the plan?

  38. Mark Webber isn’t listening to Horner, he’s got AC/DC “Highway to Hell” playing.

    1. @kwacky1 – very good!

  39. M: I’ve got a statement here from Cyril saying he doesn’t believe everything is his fault.
    C: Well the poor man is obviously delusional. Absolutely off his rocker.

  40. MW: Is Red Bull totally down under now?

  41. MW: So Seb never called me a backMARKer, honestly?

  42. So…last year we had “red bull are beaten” (RB10) and this year it’s “red bull are be leavin'” (RB11)???

    1. great dude. You deserve the win. Original, funny and intelligent, and above all, not offensive. Kudos.

    2. Very nice! I dips me lid.

    3. now that’s gotta be the winner!

  43. “Come on Mark don’t make me say I want you back over a PA system !”

  44. Do you think Adrian can apply his new sail technology to give the team extra speed to catch Mercades in Malaysia ?

  45. MW: Now how do you like them apples?”
    CH: …

  46. MW: So Christian, I hear you want FIA to level things up, but back then when I was driving for you, things didn’t seem to be equal within the team itself.

    CH: well Mark, you know, whine whine whine, blah blah blah, whine whine whine again, blah blah blah again, so it was Renault’s fault for your KERS problems, and it was also FIA’s fault not trying to level things up. So to try to force FIA to solve things, we warned them that we will leave F1, one person at a time, so we started with you…

  47. Horner: I thought you are going Indy.

    Webber: I hate ovals. And they will not let me have Nesquik on my milk.

  48. And your name is… Christian, if I recall?

  49. “Well Christian, I’m pretty sure my Porsche is faster than the RB11. Your thoughts?”

  50. MW: Horner your form is not very good at the moment.
    CH: It’s those Renault engines they’re undriveable.

  51. “Now Seb’s gone, can I have my seat back?”

  52. Christian, wanna’ try sportcars?

  53. “Hey mate, did your own Bull hit you with its horns or what?”

  54. MW : “Christian, Red Bull not doing so well this year but at least your love life has spiced up a bit?”

  55. Peppermint-Lemon (@)
    21st March 2015, 16:30

    MW: What will it take for your team to leave f1?

    CH: A few too many cans of redbull and we’ll fly away!

  56. Webber: How does it feels to be second mate ?
    Horner: I get it !

  57. Do your guys have the same front wings this year?

  58. MW : “Can I call you Whiny Spice?”

  59. MW.: What’s that smell? Old Spice?

    1. good…..good one. smart

  60. MW: “So Christian, Sebastian wasn’t too bad for a Number 2 driver, was he?”

  61. MW: “Tell them Christian—No you tell them, about what really happened on that afternoon in Turkey five years ago.”

  62. MW: “Since I left, I seem to have noticed a lack of trophies for Red Bull. Not bad for a Number 2, eh?”

  63. MW: “So, have you found the identity of the people who stole your trophies from Milton Keynes?”
    CH: “Er…no.”
    MW: “See, I told Seb that we’ll never get caught, just as long as he didn’t do a couple of doughnuts on the way out!”

  64. MW: How it going proving you can win without Vettel?

  65. MW: You want to have me back again and I put on these solid earplugs. Guess what it means?

  66. Nick (@theawesomefish)
    21st March 2015, 19:40


  67. Karma is a bitchh

  68. If you only knew that these were noise cancelling headphones…

  69. Mark: Will you admit that I was the reason for Red Bull’s success?
    Christian: Well, our performance did fall off after you left.

  70. “You can say what you want Christian. The microphone isn’t plugged in. Just like it shouldn’t be when your fiancé tries singing”

  71. “well yes mark, you make a good point but at the time i didnt know what fair and equal meant”

  72. Mark: So Horner, how is your herd?
    Christian: We are still short on horses.

  73. So Christian, anything to say about me leaving now?

  74. Webber: So Christian, now that Seb’s gone can I have my old job back?

  75. Horner wondered when Pedro de las Rosa got so tall.

  76. SaturnVF1 (@doublestuffpenguin)
    22nd March 2015, 3:35

    At least my TV Channel gives me working equipment.

  77. Hey, Christian, how are the twins?

  78. CH: yes, we are changing our name to Fullof Bull Racing.

  79. MW, about RIC: “Looks like he wasn’t bad for a number two driver”

  80. caption competitions are only for when you dont know what is being said… this was an actual interview, so doesnt seems as fun.

    1. That’s a rubbish caption.


  81. Well I’ve tried to spice things up with some ginger but it’s still pretty scary really. It’s going to take a lot to get this baby up to the posh end of the grid.

  82. Cheer up Christian, here, have a lock of this icecream..

  83. We’re live on channel 21 Christian… Channel 21

  84. MW: I’m jinxed whenever I’m near you! I think my headphones have developed a fault. I can hear lots of whining…
    CH: Mark, the headphones are fine.

  85. Mark Webber: “I can lend you my Renaul Clio. It has 100 hp!”

  86. So Christian, when are YOU going to leave this sinking ship ?

  87. If you need help Christian, I hear Jeremy Clarkson is free to join the team !

  88. ” So Cristian what DO YOU want.”

    Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
    So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
    I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
    So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
    I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
    I wanna really, really, really wanna a Mercedes

  89. You say engine equality I say driver equality – lets just call the whole interview off!

  90. I think you can make a comeback Christian, but only as the lead crooner with the Spice Girls

  91. Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
    22nd March 2015, 15:49

    CH: “You’ve lost weight David…”

  92. So, Christian, how does it feel for you, having a whole team working so hard against you?

  93. MW: So Christian, is you situation “stable”?
    CH: I don’t think so, it appears that Renault let some horses escape.

  94. Do you want me back?

  95. Webber: So Christian, you’ve been awfully vocal in the media these days. This seems similar to di Montezemolo’s threats?
    Horner: I can understand that, but when we are complaining, we never have the level of influence we were seeing, nowhere near.

  96. Mark Webber: “Where is your other half mate? Ahem… I mean Adrian Newey.”

  97. Joni (@theflyingfinns)
    22nd March 2015, 18:53

    MW: So, let’s talk first about the start. Not the best getaway from Dan, what happened?
    CH: Thought you would know!

  98. LATG (@lotus-grosjean)
    22nd March 2015, 21:34

    When was the last time you see the ‘Vettel finger’?

  99. Wow Keith, gonna be hard to pick a winner today, some excellent captions there.

    MW: So it looks like that bet we had to see how much it would take to wipe the smile of Daniel’s face carries over to the next round?

  100. “I think they could’ve been a force for years to come if the main lead power hadn’t been weakened….what do you think Christian? I’m talking about the Spice Girls in the mid 90’s of course”

  101. “Mark, you aren’t even looking at me and your mic isn’t even plugged in. The answer is no, you can’t see Geri!”

  102. Mw: did you hear Christian, Pastor Maldonado didn’t made it to the finish line again.

    Ch: wow already. I made a bet that he will finish all the races, but it looks likes he will not finish them all.

  103. Off the record Christian: do you miss me a little?

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