Derek Warwick, Bernie Ecclestone, Bahrain International Circuit, 2016

Caption Competition 101: Ecclestone and Warwick

Caption Competition

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Bernie Ecclestone has some directions for ex-F1 driver turned race steward Derek Warwick during the Bahrain Grand Prix weekend.

Can you come up with the best caption for this picture? Post your funniest suggestion in the comments below.

A selection of the best will feature in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic Round-up.

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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166 comments on “Caption Competition 101: Ecclestone and Warwick”

  1. When asked Bernie again pointed out somebody different to blame for the poor state F1 is in.

    1. Actually you may be right. I gather he is now blaming Max Mosely for the current rules.

  2. “You’re not allowed to talk. Get back in the pen with the other drivers.”

  3. “It was them, they’re the people who bullied me into accepting 2015 qualifying again”

    1. Black n Blue
      9th April 2016, 14:07

      Oh, the irony!

  4. Look an empty race track !

  5. Go and tell the media how amazing elimination qualifying is.

  6. “So lets rehearse this: If anything significant is about to happen while you’re in Race-Control, point to any random point on the sealing away from the monitors and shout LOOK!”

  7. There is Valterri Bottas over there. Now go tell him to divebomb Lewis into the first corner and spin him around to make the championship more interesting!

  8. I’ve made up my mind. F1 is definitely going in that direction.

    1. …..said Bernie, pointing down the drain.

  9. Derek, go over there and see if you can find something that isn’t broken so we can fix it.

  10. “And if you look, all the way over there. See? All the way over there? That’s where all the fans are going. It’s quite far actually!”

  11. Look Derek there’s Max, you can still penalize him the final 4 points before May!

  12. – We the drivers would like to make our voices heard.
    – That’s great. Go check if I’m not there.

  13. One minute the qualifying format went this way, and then next it went that way

  14. Berni, “I hate democracy! Heil Hitler!”

    1. Lol. I was debating whether to add “you’re using the wrong arm bernie” but I thought better of it. Oh crud!

  15. Right Warwick off to the naughty step

  16. Look, someone bought a ticket.

  17. “We need to change the regulations again, there are still people in the grandstands.”

      1. This is so spot on it almost hurts.

    1. AMR (@aiera-music)
      9th April 2016, 23:21

      Best one so far!

    2. @andae23
      Yeah, I’m not sure if I want to laugh or cry about that one. It’s too close to the truth. :(

  18. “We’ll be putting the windmill right over there … just past the clown’s mouth”.

  19. “If we have half the field drive this way, and the other half drive that way…it will really ‘spice up’ the show!”

  20. And that hill there, that’s where Mercedes and Ferrari SHOULD be starting from….

  21. Ooh! There’s something we can $%@* with!

    1. Very good. This caption is producing some of the wittiest comments.

  22. As usual with BE, it’s what he’s doing with the hand we can’t see, that is the concern.

  23. Bernie spots a Stayin’ Alive flash mob in the distance and decides that he must join in. Derek is not impressed.

  24. Bernie breaks into his rendition of Travolta’s Saturday Night Fever as he gets news of another installment of dividends from TV revenue hitting his bank account.

    1. …and, using the main tune, he sings:-

      Well now, when F1 gets low I cosy up to Sky,
      And I make loads of dosh, I really try.
      Got the wings of Sky upon my shoes
      I’m a pay TV man and I just can’t lose.
      You know I’m all right and I’m OK.
      I’ll live to see another day.
      I don’t care if you can’t understand
      it only matters that I make a few more grand.
      Whether you’re a driver or whether you’re viewer,
      Bernies stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.
      Though poor F1s breakin’ and everybodys shakin’,
      Bernies making money and I’m stayin’ alive.
      Ah, ha, ha, ha, makin’ money, stayin’ alive.
      Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive.

  25. This idiot, Alex Wurz, you must penalize him for me!

  26. Bernie’s tries the ET method to heal F1’s problems.

  27. See that white smoke? They signed a letter now their cars failed in Bahrain GP. That is how I steward the drivers..

  28. When challenged, Bernie Ecclestone denied doing a Nazi salute, claiming he was only pointing out how tall Jean Todt is.

  29. “Hey Derek, pull my finger”

  30. “So Panama is over there?”

  31. Bernie’s latest attempt to divert attention from F1’s governance problems came in the form of a really rubbish mime of The Creation of Adam from the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

  32. ‘See! I told you the sodding drivers won’t pay for a meal’

  33. Ok, last one.

    Bernie tries the “look over there” trick as dodges questions from Derek Warwick.

  34. “Can you move the drivers cage over to that corner before the race weekend? They’ve been getting a bit unruly lately.”

  35. “To the Troll-mobile”

  36. “Derek, there’s a Manor in the points. Go give it a penalty!”

    1. “Derek, Haryanto’s leading Driver of the Day. Disqualify him”

  37. SaturnVF1 (@doublestuffpenguin)
    9th April 2016, 14:04

    “No no, Bernie. We’re not going that way anymore.”

  38. “Just in case, I have a getaway car stationed there.

  39. Black n Blue
    9th April 2016, 14:12

    “Watch me Derek, in 90 seconds I’ll eliminate the lot of them!”

  40. Bernie: That’s where we’ll bury F1.

  41. Bernie pointed at the culprit of the quali debacle; four fingers had it right!

  42. Warwick: “What in the world is he up to now”

  43. Warwick: “Do you even know where Azerbaijan is?”

  44. There is just one thing to understand Warwick, if you don’t give decisions in favour of Ferrari, every single time, the way out is over there.

  45. “Hey Derek, where did all the cars go?”

  46. Bernie

    ‘See I told you they never pay for a meal!’
    ‘I am going to screw around with qualy until someone steps up and pays. I don’t care if they drive the cars, I deserve some respect and I want that Button guy who signed that letter to start over there in Russia. How many penalties do we need?’

  47. Not only would we have banana peels and turtle shells, in that corner we’ll have the Monty Moles.

  48. Derek, when the fans tell me “where I can put my great ideas for F1″…. do you think its over there?

  49. “Last row of the grid is there. Try to find a way to punish the Mercs so we get more exciting race.”

  50. “To infinity, and beyond!”

  51. “Look, potential money is over there.”

  52. “Derek, you never won any races when you were driving for me at Brabham. Go and get in one of those cars, and be a backmarker, so you can trip up the Mercs and Ferraris.”

    1. *go and get in a car that isn’t a Ferrari or Merc, and make sure you trip those Ferraris and Mercs up.”

  53. Look Derek, over there you can see Saudi Arabia. A country with a questionable government and lots of wealthy people who have absolutely no connection to motorsport whatsoever. I know what you’re thinking, why aren’t we racing there yet?

  54. “Come, boy, see for yourself. From here, you will witness the final destruction of the Alliance and the end of your insignificant rebellion.”

  55. johnny stick
    9th April 2016, 16:18

    I want to be buried over there… then when I die, you can take me home.

  56. BE – So did you get that Derek? From now on, hang the piñatas over there and a qualy lap will only be valid if they hit one on the way past.
    DW – Hit one with what?
    BE – A big stick of course! I’ll let them borrow mine.

  57. “Over there in Baghdad I want Tilke to design the Saddam Circuit”

  58. claire Brettle
    9th April 2016, 16:56

    “LOOK!” All the fans are coming back now we’ve changed back to the 2015 qualifying”

  59. Look over there Derek, there’s some people smiling. Go and try and copy them.

  60. If you penalise Lewis……..

  61. Bernie: those glasses are perfect for a blind man like you. look Hamilton is on pole again, drop him 5 places on the grid.
    Derek: but he’s done nothing wrong!
    Bernie: I don’t care, I want the grid order mixed up. But fine if you won’t help me, I’ll just go mess with his clutch again.

  62. Go stand over there with the others who aren’t allowed to talk.

  63. Ecclestone: Look! One person likes my idea!
    Warwick: That’s a mirror Bernie.

  64. Derek, they’re racing over there. Put a stop to it.

  65. Those are the sprinklers I want!

  66. David (@DavidNCant)
    9th April 2016, 18:05

    BE – So did you get that Derek? From now on, hang the piñatas over there and a qualy lap will only be valid if they hit one on the way past.
    DW – Hit one with what?
    BE – A big stick of course! I’ll let them borrow mine.

  67. Daniel (@mechanicalgrip22)
    9th April 2016, 18:19

    STOP! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see!

  68. “Look, Squirrel!”

  69. “Who are you, who can summon fire without flint or tinder?”

    “There are some who call me… Bernie”

  70. “Look Derek. All those people in the stands. They’re only here for me you know. Not the b****y drivers!”

  71. BE: I’m not happy with that Ferrari sign board, it doesn’t look quite right. Can you check it out?

  72. “The sprinklers are going on that corner, shortcuts on the other one.”

  73. JungleMartin
    9th April 2016, 20:23

    Go and find something in the regulations about the teams being awkward. There’s a fax machine in my private jet.

  74. Look I don’t care what you or anyone else thinks – back there is where I want Mercedes and Ferrari to start each Grand Prix…..

  75. Craig Preekel
    9th April 2016, 20:42

    ” There, right there at the back of the grid Derek, That’s where i want the fastest drivers!”

  76. “Here is your money. Act like nothing happened.”
    “Hello sir. When does that bank open?”

  77. “These are not the qualifying regulations you are looking for.”

  78. “I want you to give Alonso a penalty for criticizing my plans.”

  79. Bernie: “Look there in the sky Derek, Red Bull are having their wings back.”
    Derek: “Bernie, that joke is even worse than the one of changing the qualifying format.”

  80. There is another one posting photos of F1 to the Internet thing. We can’t have any photos getting out that we don’t make money from! Stop him now.

  81. ‘Them there… They are Formula one… The red ones with the White top’

    ‘Who Ferrari?’

    ‘Is that who they are?’

  82. “I want that big pile of cash over there”

  83. Get thee to a nunnery!

  84. Bernie demonstrates his new qualifying idea: “Eenie meenie minie mo…”

  85. “I want a penalty and/or start crash at T1. Make it happen!”

  86. Look Derek! Over there! There’s another regulation I can ruin!

  87. “You’re eliminated!”

  88. Peppermint-Lemon (@)
    9th April 2016, 23:42

    Bernie: There are the signs pointing to failure, and we are right on course

  89. I want to get paid for being a steward !

  90. ” … And the ‘ evil ‘ Little Bernie sits on my RIGHT shoulder and is about THIS big..”

  91. Azerbaijan? It’s over there!

  92. Simple rules? No unnecessary changes? IndyCar is that way

  93. The drivers’ naughty corner is over there. There’s a space reserved for Seb so find a reason to stick the mouthy little troublemaker in it will you?

  94. Bernie- ” Just under the spruce tree, we ‘ll bury F1 there….

  95. And that flock of geese – if they haven’t paid their sky subscription, I want them out!

  96. BE: Yes, over there behind that hill and all those trees is where we’ll let the peasants sit.

  97. “You used to be a driver? You shouldn’t even be allowed to talk! Now go sit in the corner!”

  98. Make Lewis and Nico start from over there.

  99. And there Derek, is the desert full of democracy loving people of Bahrain, buried by the Saudis. You may ask the drivers to check it out.

  100. Justin (@vivagilles27)
    10th April 2016, 5:26

    See how there is no one sitting in the stands here in Bahrain? Good. Now let’s drop the race in Monza that’s always packed to the gills with crazed Ferrari fans.

  101. So let them eat cake…

  102. Let’s have them push their cars off that cliff.. We’ll decide the grid positions based on which car crashes to the ground first

  103. “I want you to know that everything I did, I did for F1”

  104. Bernie attempts to justify the elimination Qualifying format, citing Maldonado’s absence and recent Mercedes domination as his main reasons

  105. After the recent Panama leaks, Bernie wonders where he can make tax-free profits from the 2019 Sky TV deal

  106. Bernie: “I’ll teach those drivers to speak out against me. I want you to penalise that Vettel and Button so heavily they start dead last and I’ll give you $1m if you make sure that Wurz guy starts all the way back there”
    Warwick: “Make it $2m and I can gaurantee he won’t make the start at all”

  107. “Why do the teams blame me for elimination qualifying, it’s FIA’s fault. They forced me into this.”

  108. Democracy? Try a thousand miles or so in that direction.

  109. BE: “Look, a pink flying elephant…”
    Meanwhile, back at Evil Headquarters, new plans were being hatched for the making of dishonest gains…

  110. Look there’s a fan in the grounds, go and tell him to go home and watch it on sky!

  111. ”Don’t turn your back yet Derek, Nico made the corner before Lewis! See?”

  112. “All people who have stopped watching F1 went there. We must get them back!”

  113. Look up there at the name of this site. F1Fanatic? Sue them!

  114. I didn’t fart, it was then from the FIA.

  115. Richard Lovell
    10th April 2016, 14:08

    GET OUT!!! You check bounced…………..

  116. Go to penalize Lewis!

  117. Spelling lessons with all the other drivers that way

  118. While Bernie keeps Derek Warwick’s attention on his left hand, the other hand is busy rewriting the rules…

  119. Derek Warwick: “Stroke my cheek one more time, Bernie, and I’ll… um, I don’t actually have any power here, do I?”

  120. Bernie – “You know what sounds better than F1’s current engines? Just pull my finger”

  121. Bernie “I said sports fans with money, not actual fans”

  122. Bernie distracts Derek while removing Derek’s pit pass with his pinky. Derek probably won’t be heard disparaging live knock out qualifying or any other Bernie-isms in the future.

  123. Quick cover me, the fans are throwing rotten eggs at me !

  124. Quick cover me, the fans are throwing rotten eggs !

  125. Look over there, audience, at least four of them! I told you so, we’re a total success!
    It’s marshals, Bernie. Volunteer marshals.

  126. Shane walker
    12th April 2016, 2:45

    Hey Derek is that where you got your glasses from? yours are way more cool.

  127. Shane walker
    12th April 2016, 2:46

    Yeah mate, that is where I made my first 2 billion

  128. Shane walker
    12th April 2016, 2:48

    Do something about Lewis Hamilton will you, he is over there laughing, he just messed up my hair again.

  129. Bernie: YIKES!!!!! It’s American Pharoah!!!! He won’t leave me alone!!!!

    Derek: A bet is a bet, Bernie. Don’t think that I do not know. I know you lost the bet that he would not win the Grand Slam of Horse racing.

    Bernie: Then you get on his behind and pucker-up.

  130. Derek, if you took those silly shades off you’d know you just walked past the loo, back that way.

  131. Bruce Hilliard
    12th April 2016, 20:36

    Bernie to Derek, “If you look in that building you can find free pastries. FREE!”

  132. Bernie – “Look Derek, idiots everywhere!”
    Derek – “No Bernie, that is your reflection in the window!”

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