Kimi Raikkonen, Fernando Alonso, Suzuka, 2014

Caption Competition 64: Raikkonen and Alonso

2014 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

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Kimi Raikkonen, Fernando Alonso, Suzuka, 2014

After one season as team mates, Ferrari’s partnership between Fernando Alonso and Kimi Raikkonen will be split up after 2014.

The pair were the team’s first line up featuring two world title holders since the fifties. However Ferrari will retain its all-champions line-up next year with Sebastian Vettel in Alonso’s place.

Can you come up with the best caption for this picture? Post your funniest suggestion in the comments below.

A selection of the best will feature in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic Round-up.

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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  • 154 comments on “Caption Competition 64: Raikkonen and Alonso”

    1. “No seriously, where are you going next year?”

    2. “Mind sharing that contract cancellation loophole you found?”

    3. Kimi: Stop signing those Fernando! They’re Sebastian’s!

    4. Kimi to Alonso: ‘I’m really going to miss our deep and meaningful conversations’.

      1. This is the only one so far that’s made me laugh out loud, nice one!

    5. Did you eat my iceacream?

    6. KR to FA: Could you sign some autographs instead of me?

    7. KR: “Yo, Nando. Sing with me – You’re as cold as ice. You’re willing to sacrifice our love. You never take advice. Someday you’ll pay the price. I know.”
      FA: “Cold as ice, you know that you are. Cold, cold, as, as, ice, as cold as ice to me. Cold, cold, as, as, ice”

    8. Hey, Fernando, did you see Mclaren’s test at Abu Dhabi? *sniggers*

    9. Kimi : “Yay! Hey I am done, did you not learn what it feels to sign for too long Fernando?!”

    10. “That car you’re drawing right now is already better than the F14T.”

    11. “Is that your new contract? Put my name on it as well”.

    12. Kimi: “Eh?”

    13. “Do I have to sign all these?”

    14. Kimi: Hey Nando .. You happened to have a spare marker?

      1. No, he happened to have the spare “back” marker.

    15. Kimi: is that a beer next to you?
      Fernando: no, I think that’s lemon juice.
      Kimi: well, better skip this Abu Dhabi gp, it is not worth it.

    16. Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
      29th November 2014, 12:27

      “at least I’m faster at this”

      1. Not bad hehehe :-)

    17. Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
      29th November 2014, 12:27

      “oh this…. it protects my head…”

    18. Kimi: “That`s a mighty pen you`ve got there. You know what else was big when I left Ferrari for the first time? My paycheck.”

    19. Kimi to Fernando : the 2015 car is very fast you know.

    20. Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
      29th November 2014, 12:29

      “what will we do when theres no blackmarkers next year?”

    21. – See you next year… in my mirrors!

    22. Kimi: “What are you doing later?”

      For God’s sake, I said I wouldn’t make this joke :D

    23. Kimi: I though we were supposed to be signing autographs, not Mclaren contracts!

    24. Kimi – Be careful what you are signing, eh Fernando?

      1. nice one!

    25. Fernando: “Are you sure you don’t want to come with me to Nando’s?” Kimi: “Leave me alone, I know what I’m doing!”

    26. Can you hear the drums Fernando?

      1. Or even:
        The stars were bright, Fernando
        They were shining there for you and me
        For liberty, Fernando
        Though we never thought that we could lose

        1. …There’s no regret

          er, well…

    27. Of course Kimi is faster than Alonso. He completes his media commitments in record time and makes really quick getaways.

    28. Kimi: I know how a disgraced samurai can regain his honor.

        1. @mantresx hehe yes, aka hara-kiri.

    29. Look, NO HANDS!

      1. Good one :-)

    30. “You sneaking off, eh?”

    31. “Hey, do you want to do 2007 next year?, it’ll be fun – Me at Ferrari & You at McLaren”

      1. nice one mate

    32. Kimi found himself at an advantage in the autograph GP after Fernando hit technical trouble and had to be welded back up.

    33. Kimi: “Nothing to sing, just autographs, eh?”

    34. “Ha! This time I stay, and you leave.” :)

    35. Alonso : ” … And to Sebastian, I leave behind this wonderful Ferrari which will surely win you another world title.”

    36. “You know my friend is coming in next year…”

    37. Kimi, lacking grip, finds himself shuffling down the pack and away from Fernando. Fernando stays focused on the job at hand.

    38. “Try rallying after leaving Ferrari, it’s more fun!”

      1. @functor I’ll be surprised if one of your captions is not chosen… you have written more than half of them this time!

    39. “But we get to keep Santander?”

    40. KR : “Hey Nando, wanna know hw i keep my hands warm?”

    41. Kimi, bored with yet another autograph session, is caught on camera about to start an elastic fight with his unsuspecting teammate.

    42. Kimi: “Why so serious? Dont you like PR?”

    43. For once in 2014, Kimi finishes first.

    44. “I’ve known Maurizio Arrivabene for a long time I believe he is an extremely competent person and perfect for the role of Team Principal that he has been given. Maurizio has known Ferrari and the business of Formula 1 for a long time and I believe he has the ability to motivate and push the team back to the level it deserves to be at. Everyone in the team, in every area of activity will now have to tackle a lot of hard work to get the new car ready.”

    45. Leaving ? You sure you know what you are doing?

    46. “Thanks a lot man. Please sign it …. To Kimi: all the best from your pal, Fernando”.

    47. FA: Are you finished Kimi?
      KR: Just leave me alone, I know what im doing

    48. KIMI – Beautiful wrist action you got there mate, the lads in the garage say you give it lots of exercise!

    49. “Congratulations, you just signed for Caterham!”

    50. F: Leave me alone I know what I´m doing!

    51. Kimi: Hey Alonso. Alonso! ALONSO!! LOOK!

      *alonso looks over*

      Kimi: I’m a polar bear :)

      1. Hey Apple… :P

    52. Kimi: Look at you doing all this PR rubbish. I don’t have to do anything and the fans still love me.

    53. Oeiiiiiiiiiiii! (another davidnotcoulthard account) (@)
      29th November 2014, 14:29

      Kimi: Want some snus?
      ALO: (trying to rival N. Rosberg’s multi-lingual speech) Nee, Kiitos

      Disclaimer:I know not whether Kimi actually takes snus. But some people say he does so anyway…..

    54. ” Put some better exit clauses on contract “

    55. “Come on, ‘Nando, give me back my ice cream!”
      “Sign all of the cards first!”

    56. Kimi: “Tell Ron i said hi!” (Smiles)

    57. KR: Hey Nando, what takes you so long? Let’s jump to the rollercoaster!
      FA: Hold on, Kimi. I need to draw something in this Mattiacci photographs.

    58. Hey Nando!
      Are you playing angry birds again in your new “McLaren” IPad!?

    59. Kimi: “Hey Fernando, there’s a cyborg behind you.”

    60. RAI: I drove like ???? this year, scored a third of the points and YOU’RE the one they let go. Any confirmed seat yet maaaaate????
      ALO: Yeah yeah yeah, just leave me alone. I know what I’m doing.

    61. Alonso: Why is Ron being mentioned so many times in this new Mercedes contract?

    62. Hey Alonso there’s some Ferrari guy in a Welding mask and an axe behind you!! Just sayin.

    63. Kimi “There are two ‘t’s in Vettle, Fernando.. if you’re going to sit here at least get it right”

    64. Kimi couldn’t keep a straight face as he asked Fernando if he was looking forward to working with Ron again.

    65. Kimi: “Who is the fastest to sign autographs now?”

    66. Imagine Kimi and Fernando at school, this is exactly how I think they would be!

    67. Hey buddy thanks for the going away present it’s like two gifts in one now I’ll be number one in Red.

    68. KIMI- what do ya reckon, hood up or good down?

      FERNANDO- I can’t decided, but when I do, the fans will say “of course he was going to choose that” and they will be very excited.

    69. Kimi, “Can I sign that contract, please?”

    70. oh, so you do know how to put pen to paper?

    71. If you sniff the marker you turn into a panda!

    72. KIMI- Look out behind you! The Cybermen are attacking…….

    73. KIMI- so you’re leaving then?

      Alonso- We’ve shared a garage for a whole season and NOW you wanna talk to me.

    74. Kimi: Haha, he looks ridiculous with that beard.

    75. KIMI- Have you talked to Luca about your plans mate?
      ALONSO- not yet, BUT I did get a horse’s head in the mail……..

    76. “Hey, ‘Lonso, … before you go, do you happen to have your agent’s phone number handy?”

    77. So me and Vettel are no threat to you in a Ferrari (The Limping Horse)

      1. that’s good. Ferrari really is a limping horse.

    78. Hey Fernando, I bet next year you’ll win just as much as the whole McLaren team and whole Ferrari team won this year combined!

    79. Kimi can’t hide his amazement at how lifelike Ferrari World’s new Alonso mannequin is.

    80. well at least you know youve not got Lewis as your team mate this time

    81. Kimi to Fernando: “No pizza, no spaghetti, just strange British meals. Do you realize that?”

    82. I told them they could sign Seb as long as they leave me alone, I know what I’m doing.

    83. Kimi: “come on guys, Im not that bad! haha… I’ll sign you a book too! come on..haha…. please?! :) “

    84. Vettel and I are going to make a joke of this team..
      Thanks.

    85. Kimi: Here, you ever thought about a good departing song? Like maybe “Your cheating heart” sung by Tammy Wynette.
      Fernando: No, but after 4 years at Ferrari I thought D.I.V.O.R.C.E. would more appropriate.

    86. Hey Fernando, I’m slower than you but I’m still smiling, you wanna know why? ’cause unlike the last two years, I’m getting paid, bitch!

    87. “When are you going to sign a contract?”

    88. If I loan you my spare gorilla suit, will you please shave that horrid thing off your face?

    89. Kimi: My sword is mightier than your pen.

    90. Can you put to Kimi with love?

    91. Hey ‘Nando… Did you finish your 1000 lines of “I will not sign long term contracts ever again” yet???

    92. Finally, my pen has a very strong front end which suits my signing style.

    93. Hey Fern is that a McLaren marker. Here at Ferrari you will need a red marker. Everything is red at Ferrari.

    94. At least Fern you won’t smell pastrami in your car and won’t be sitting on them.

      1. Sorry wrong meat. It supposed to be Italian Sausage aka salsiccia.

    95. Peppermint-Lemon (@)
      29th November 2014, 21:47

      Kimi to Alonso: I’ve signed far more autographs for fans then you have!

      Alonso: I’d rather win races than be popular, but looks like neither is happening anytime soon!

    96. Kimi, hey Fernando, is it true Ron will only forgive you if you take all the 2015 Ferrari design specifications to McLaren with you?

    97. RAI: Hey teflonso if you sniff the marker you turn into a panda!
      ALO: It’s time to sign the contract…

    98. Fernando: It says right here that you never smile. What’s with the face?
      Kimi: I’ve heard you won’t be my teammate anymore. :)

    99. “Fernando reconsiders after the 2015 Ferrari contract assigns a quarter of their budget to ice cream and drinks. But somebody else is happy!”

    100. “Hey Fernando, if that’s a contract you’re signing shouldn’t you be using a pencil?”

    101. Kimi: “So you can still sign your name Fernando? Gonna make use of that skill anytime soon?”

    102. Kimi: Is that a sign of separation?

    103. Kimi: ‘Fernando, who you hesitate so long to sign? It’s not a Mclaren contract is it?’

      1. *’why you hesitate’

    104. “Well, that’s me finished. How’s that Samurai signing technique working out for you?”

    105. R-a-i-k-k-o-n-e-n

    106. – Hey Nando, how’s that contract signing going?
      – For some reason, there seems to be an awful lot of Ron Dennis mentions in this Mercedes contract.

    107. Kimi: …
      Fernando: mmm

    108. Kimi: Finally..

    109. “Got lots of work even when leaving? Ha!”

    110. ” We’ve signed most number of posters as a team this year, kudos!”

    111. “Hey, I’ve Finnished! , Guess which hand the marker is in?”

      1. “Hey, I’ve Finnished! , Guess which hand the marker is in?… Nope! None, It’s on the table! Haha”

    112. Where do the ghosts of lost race wins like to hang out? Boooodapest.

    113. “Now that the season’s finished, I bet the F1 Fanatic caption comp gets more hits than ever.”

    114. ”I sign mine with , Ferrari’s last world champion, how about you Fernando”

    115. Hey Fernando! Have we ever had this much fun together before?

    116. Seb is coming I need to communicate

    117. So when does the 2014 season start?

    118. Hey…Hey Fern…my pick for the 2nd Ferrari pilot is Sebastian Vettel.

    119. You really thought that you could get along with Ron Dennis after costing him a 100 mil U.S.? Good-luck…tell him I said Hello.

    120. I can’t believe you bought into Flavio’s diatribe when he told you you and Ron Dennis could co-exist again! You know how many bottles of liquor and babes had gone down before you entered the room?

    121. Seriously…

    122. Kimi:
      There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando
      They were shining there for you and me for liberty, Fernando
      Though we never thought that we could lose, there’s no regret
      If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando
      If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando

      Fernando:
      That’s why I’m leaving, and you know what you can do with your ABBA-records.

    123. See..i told u am faster than you when it comes to signing autographs !!!

    124. Kimi: so what do you think about your veto now? You were veto’ed out of the team anyway.

    125. Kiki: “May as we’ll sign, seeing as though you can always rip it up later!”
      Fernando: “Only to go faster than someone else somewhere else, yes?”
      Miki: “ha.”
      Mikita: “I’d spank you in a car suited to me…”
      Fernando: “Shut up Mr autocorrect can’t spell your name!”

    126. Hey Fernando, guess what I’m sighing for you under the table !

    127. Hey Fern I have finished signing all the programs on the table and you are still on the first one.
      Here take my black flask. It will help you signing faster.

    128. Kimi – “Hey Nando, give the autographs a break… you don’t work for them anymore”

    129. Kimi : “Now that you are alone. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

    130. K->F: I leave you alone. I know what your’re doing.

    131. K->F: Do you know b.t.w. what Felipe meant with that “outpsyched”?

    132. K->F: OK dude, you’re faster. I was just kidding. Don’t tell grandma pls…

    133. Hey Ferny!

      Goes who got the power of Veto in their contract !!!

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